Love, Labors, Lost
by Claidi Winter
Summary: Complete When Usagi finds she is pregnant she flees, not wanting to face the truth of her child's conception. However she is forced to come to terms with her past when her son's father re-appears, still wanting the same thing he's always wanted.
1. Prologue

I raised my eyes up from my lap to the newly arrived   
train. The raindrops fell freely from the night sky and my   
heart felt as black as the clouds as I reached for my   
suitcase.   
  
"All aboard!" the conductor called from out the train   
window. It was just like in the movies, I thought dimly.   
  
As I stood up my legs suddenly turned to jelly and I   
had to fight to keep standing. I took a step towards the   
train then stopped. That would have been the moment that I   
reconsidered. I could have turned around at that moment and   
fled back to Juuban. That would have been the moment except   
for one thing. I would have re-thought if I could have   
thought, but at that moment the only thing that filled my   
heart and mind was all-consumable pain. For the first time   
since I met him, I was not even thinking of my beloved.   
Only the pain was there. So, in that one moment when I   
would have thought twice, I thought about how big the train   
was instead, giving my mind an easy thought for a change.   
With that I adjusted my-, his Azabu Institute jacket,   
picked up my bags and walked solemnly through the closing   
train doors.  
  
As I looked out my window I thought finally, with all   
decisions made and opportunities to turn back gone, I   
thought for the hundredth, and yet first time, first real   
time that is, back to what got me on that train in the   
first place. I thought back to our fight with the Black   
Moon, but really it started, as most things do, with a boy.   
  
He was actually more of a man than a boy, which made   
him far too old for me. Three years to be exact, not so big   
a jump if you were twenty, or eighteen even, but an   
impossible number for a girl of fourteen. Looking back on   
it now, it probably wasn't the smartest thing I'd ever   
done; getting mixed up in a relationship at such a young   
age. No, bringing him around where my father could see us,   
that definitely was the highlight of my stupidity. But I'm   
getting off track. None of it mattered then; I was in love…  
  
"OH!! Ice cream store! PLEASE Mamo-chan, can we go   
in?" I looked up at him with hopeful eyes, they must have   
glistened just the right amount for he sighed his "I Give   
In" sigh and gave me a small but adorable smile. I squealed   
delightedly and lunged at him but he was ready and caught   
me in an embrace before I could bring us crashing down. I   
took him by the hand and lead him in to the quaint little   
shop I had spotted.  
  
We were in America; the country my parents frequently   
brought my brother and me for our annual family vacation.   
My father, after much begging and pleading on my part and   
on the part of my mother, Virginia being her favorite   
state, or commonwealth* rather, agreed that we should go   
there this year. For my part I was thrilled, for I knew   
that this was the state Mamo-chan happened to be currently   
visiting colleges in (much to my father's disappointment   
upon his conception of the information.) Besides, Shingo   
thought it was boring there, and the only thing I loved as   
much, or perhaps more than Mamo-chan was tormenting my   
little brother.  
  
Apparently the feeling was mutual; once in America,   
Shingo willing volunteered to be a chaperone on Mamo-chan   
and my trip to town. Only this time he had back up: a   
certain cotton haired (and brained, I thought), beady-eyed   
little girl: Chibi-Usa.   
  
"Usagi! Get away from MY Mamo-chan!" she screamed,   
more like demanded, as we were about to enter the Shoppe. I   
froze dead in my tracks as Mamo-chan slowly and quietly   
backed away.  
  
"Listen here Squirt, this is MY day out with MY   
boyfriend and you BETTER not ruin it or else I'll tell Dad   
that you have an "unhealthy, and serious" obsession with MY   
boyfriend, at which point he won't let you near Mamo-chan   
for the rest of the trip!" I growled angrily.  
  
She crossed her arms and lifted her chin up   
arrogantly, "YOU'RE just jealous because Mamo-chan loves me   
more! Beeea!!" with that she stuck out her tongue and   
pulled down her lower eye-lid with one finger. The biggest   
mark of disrespect a kid can give.   
  
I was about to do the same when I noticed Mamo-chan   
out of the corner of my eye. He had his left arm across his   
chest using it to prop up his right to bury his face in his   
hand. He was embarrassed. Of course he was embarrassed!   
Here he was, almost in college, and to an onlooker, his   
girlfriend would seem like his little sister!  
  
I straightened up and brushed down my pale blue dress.   
  
Chibi-Usa dropped her pose, and starred at me   
bewildered. "Hey! Meatball Brain! Did ya hear me?"  
  
At the sound of Chibi-Usa's voice Mamo-chan looked up   
too, dropping his pose as well. I was so ashamed; I   
couldn't stand to look him in the eye. As I backed away   
from my supposed cousin I realized for the first time under   
the same circumstances how incredibly immature I always   
acted and how incredibly embarrassing I was to have, as   
anyone's girlfriend much less an eighteen year-old's.  
  
I spoke finally my voice trembling as I remembered   
Chibi-Usa's words and feared them to be true. "All- All   
right then, I'll back off."  
  
Mamo-chan's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "Usako,   
are you-?"  
  
"I'm fine." I cut him off sharply. "I'm fine, I'll   
just um, be in the Souvenir Shoppe." I finished softly,   
nervously fixing the chain on my crescent necklace. With   
that I turned on my heels and walked in the totally   
opposite direction of my said destination, squeezing my   
eyes closed shut as to not let any tears out.  
  
Looking back I was being in a way selfish then, but it   
was the same unconscious kind of selfish that got me on   
that train. I thought I was acting in the best interest of   
another person, the person I loved more than, at the time,   
any other being alive.   
  
The difference between the two memories is that as I   
began to walk away in the earlier of the two memories, I   
soon felt warm hands encircle my waist, stopping me in my   
tracks and slowly turning me around to face their owner. He   
nuzzled his head against mine, and softly kissed my lips   
leaving me dazed. You couldn't have snapped your fingers   
quicker than he coaxed me back into his embrace.  
  
However, with the later memory, (but the first to be   
recalled), no warm hands came to hold me and coax me back,   
they didn't know they needed to. I left in blackness, when   
the moon from which I came was glowing. No more   
comparisons, here it is: the story of my gift, my curse,   
and now my only reason to live. 


	2. Chapter 1: The Past

Disclaimer: Yeah Mamo-chan's not mine, I KNOW OKAY?! You don't have to cut my heart any deeper *Sniff* Oh right, the rest of the Sailor Moon characters don't belong to me either they belong to the wonderful Naoko Takeuchi and the rest of them Toei animation and such. HOWEVER: KATE, ANNA, MAX and KRISTA are MY friends/characters and you can't have them! Especially Max! *Gabs Kate's clone* Muhahahahah!  
  
********************  
  
Love, Labors, Lost  
  
Chapter 1: The Past  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
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I was sitting outside his apartment. My fists were red and hurt from banging on his door, and my eyes stung from the new tears, not yet fully recovered from the last ones. I knew he was leaning on the other side; we would be back to back if it wasn't for the damn door.  
  
Soon I started to smell the familiar sent of his cologne. I gritted my teeth picking myself up, thinking I'd break in two if I got another whiff of it. I walked slowly down the pink hallways of his apartment complex. I reached the elevator and pushed the button 'down' button, on automatic. I didn't know how much more of this I could stand.  
  
On the ride down I ran over it again in my head. That dream. I now knew it was the reason for his staying away from me, but couldn't he see that I didn't care? I would rather die with him then live to be one hundred without him. Actually, thinking about it, I highly doubted I would live that long being a Sailor Senshi. So I'd die either way. Couldn't he see that? We'd die someday in battle, couldn't he see that I wanted to be at his side when that happened?  
  
As I reached the front doors, they opened and suddenly the world came crashing back as I heard screaming.  
  
'Chibi-Usa!' my mind yelled to my heart as I ran to the screaming girl. Before I reached them Luna had jumped on her wrist and bit something off.  
  
"Luna! What was that?!" I said stupidly looking at the squirming thing on the ground.  
  
"That was your bracelet Usagi-chan!" She said incredulously. There was a rumbling sound and the ground shook a little. We looked up to see Esmeraude's statue growing quickly above us. "Usagi! It's the enemy! Henshin yo!"  
  
I nodded meekly, God I didn't need this now! But the statue was growing steadily and there were only five beings that could stop it. I happened to be one of those five beings.  
  
"MOON CRYSTAL POWER. MAKE UP!"  
  
In a flash I was gone, leaping up to the top of the building were I had taken the crafts class to make my bracelet.  
  
I was the first atop the building to confront the Yoma.  
  
"Stop right there!"  
  
The yoma spun around. "Who are you?"  
  
"I am the protector of love and justice, Sailor Moon! How dare you use these teenagers' hopes and dreams of love for something evil! In the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!"  
  
Yeah I know, pretty corny right? Well hey, think about this: How would you feel if you yourself were making one of these bracelets to win back your true love just to find out it was being used for something evil? It was pretty far fetched sure, but that didn't mean that they had to take advantage of it! So yeah, I was pretty pissed off, and that little speech there was the only time I got to express it.  
  
But before I could gloat fully, the monster had already knocked me off my feet, and another attack was coming full speed when something red flashed and stopped it dead, just ahead of my booted foot. My head shot up to look and I was not disappointed, there he was blending in perfectly with the night sky with his black tuxedo.  
  
"Tuxedo Mask!" was all I could say. I shouldn't have been so surprised to see him, but as of late every time I battled there was that fear in my mind that he wouldn't show.  
  
He shouted a speech to the monster not unlike mine, but the yoma shouted an attack and suddenly two golden rings were headed in his direction. Thankfully there was a flash of blue and Ami, or should I say Sailor Mercury was there.  
  
The attacks kept on coming, but each was destroyed by a newly arrived scout. Soon it was my turn.  
  
"Now Sailor Moon!" Tuxedo Mask yelled. I looked up slightly annoyed, what? He was afraid I'd forget? But I shook it off and focused as my Moon Scepter materialized.  
  
"MOON PRINCESS HALATION!" I yelled as the monster shrieked and then she was gone just like that.  
  
"All right Sailor Moon!" Sailor Jupiter said slapping me on the back none to lightly.  
  
I coughed and blushed slightly. "Don't congratulate me, you guys did most of it."  
  
"I wouldn't be saying my congratulations just yet!" a voice boomed. Suddenly Esmeraude appeared in a flash of green, her face in a snarl. She was levitating just above us and looked as if she could kill us and would have had she not been so weak from summoning the statue.  
  
"Don't think for one second that you can stop us from opening the Black Gate! You may have won this one Sailors, but-"  
  
She was cut short when a man in white and blue robes appeared beside her. His hair was as white as snow, but he looked to be only in his twenties. His skin was slightly paler than it should have been, and his eyes, oh God his eyes. They were piercing ice, cold and yet on fire. You could have frozen just looking at them. I won't forget those eyes as long as I live. He looked over the five of us, who were alert and ready to attack. Then he looked directly at me with those same piercing eyes. It felt as if he could see right through me, right down to the bone. The hair on my skin rose in warning. I was paralyzed. He looked stunned; squinting at me further. I winced. Then the stunned look was gone and in its place was one of satisfaction, and a cold smile played across his lips. He looked away and I silently let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.  
  
"Yo-your Highness!" she stuttered falling on one knee before him. "Your Highness I beg your pardon but I did not know you were coming."  
  
All we scouts could do was look on bewildered as Esmeraude went on sniveling at this man's feet.  
  
"Get up Esmeraude." He demanded, and his voice was. you guessed it; like ice. Once she was on her feet he looked once again to me before speaking "I see that you failed once again."  
  
"It won't happen again Sire." she said gritting her teeth.  
  
"See that it doesn't!" he barked. I could actually see her heart, or what she had of one, break. "You are dismissed!" He said coolly. Then his attention went back to us, me in particular.  
  
"As for you," he said paralyzing my soul one again with those eyes. "I will see you, in a thousand years." With that and a swirl of his cloak, he was gone.  
  
All at once the senshi were around me asking me if I was all right. For my part all I could do was stand there.  
  
"Sailor Moon." It was Tuxedo Mask, what did he want? He'd already torn my heart in two. But I faced him, hopeful.  
  
"Hmm? Eh." I said weakly.  
  
"We're here to protect both the present and future of Tokyo from all evil forces no matter how difficult that it our mission. We MUST overcome all obstacles and adversaries whatsoever." He said, commandingly.  
  
"Anything Tuxedo Mask."  
  
"Sailor Senshi we must fight TOGETHER," he looked over at me, "for the mission." He added. "Sayonara."  
  
"Always for you." I sighed wistfully, the piercing man Esmeraude called 'Highness' forgotten.  
  
Rei, still as Sailor Mars, came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder, "Well girl, what are you waiting for?"  
  
"Hmm?" I sighed still in a daze.  
  
"Yeah it seems like you guys understand each other now!" Sailor Jupiter chirped in.  
  
"Go ON Usagi-chan! Go to him!" Mina sang dreamily.  
  
I was running, de-transforming on the way, slowing me down some but not much. I ran straight into the park, our park, and onto the ledge where we'd always feed the ducks and talk for hours on end. I don't know how I knew he'd be there, I just. knew.  
  
I reached the ledge gasping and out of breath. He was leaning over the edge looking into the water. God he looked beautiful. I stopped silent for a moment, greedily taking in the sight of him while catching my breath. I imagined how he looked from the front like that. Bangs falling into his eyes, peaceful face, gorgeous blue eyes. I'm getting off track again. I coughed finally to get his attention. He looked up startled. I ran, I couldn't help it, I ran as fast as I could straight into his arms. He caught me and for the first time in months he didn't wince or push me away immediately. He held me as tight as he could without hurting me.  
  
"Usako." He said simply  
  
I looked up from his embrace at the long awaited return of the nickname; I don't think I could have been happier.  
  
"Mamo-chan, I don't care about the dreams, I just want us to be together. I understand that it might not be wise to get married, but that's the future Mamo-chan, and this is now and right now all I want is to be by your side, because now might be all we got." I spitted out hurriedly, too used to being interrupted. But he just smiled that same endearing play on his lips he smiles when he's giving me what I want.  
  
"Oh Mamo-chan!" I cried happily hugging him tighter. He lifted my chin up to his and my eyes fluttered closed as I stood on tiptoe to equal the high difference. He leaned down to do his part and slowly caressed my lips with his, and soon the caress became a nibble and the nibble became a kiss, and well you can imagine where the kiss went from there.  
  
I was on cloud nine and would stay there, long after my Mamo-chan drove me home. But what I didn't know was that while I was in heaven, a plan was churning in someone's mind, a plan that would turn my newfound heavenly life, into a hell.  
  
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Usagi shot up from her computer chair at the sound of someone knocking on her door.  
  
"Serena, are you all right?" called a female voice from the other side. "You've been in there all day and it's dinner time anyway."  
  
"Yeah I'm fine Kate!" she shouted to the woman on the other side, sniffling and wiping away some stray tears. "Um, just give me a sec, I'll be out in a jiffy."  
  
Kate frowned on the other side of the mahogany door wondering what in the world her friend could have been doing locked away in her room all day. She had never known Serena to not be up and about. She would periodically shut herself in for an hour or two, during which Kate could hear faint sobs from the other side, but she always thought it best not to disturb the child, but nothing as long as this.  
  
"Honey? Is Serena coming down? Her food is getting cold!" Kate's husband, Max called from downstairs looking worriedly upward until he saw Kate emerge from the top of the stairs.  
  
"She said she'd be down any minute." Kate said frowning.  
  
Back in her room Usagi hurriedly pressed the 'save' button on her word document and closed it. Probably for another day, but right now she couldn't bring herself to tell the next part of her story, perhaps because she still had her demons to face before she could to terms with what really happened herself. But for now, there was a couple downstairs, waiting anxiously for her. She headed towards the stairs pausing quickly in the bathroom to wash her face and hands, before continuing on towards the patient couple and. her son.  
  
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Well there ya go chapter 1. I know I'm horrible for leaving it there. I have the rest of summer to write this thing so the next one could be up anytime. Please review me and tell me what ya think. Till next time folks!  
  
~Claidi Winter 


	3. Chapter 2: The Present

_Hey all, SO SO SO SO sorry about the delay, but I have been mentoring at and old camp I used to attend when I was younger. I was going to wait until I was back in VA but I saw all the reviews and I was like, what the heck. Sniff I wuv you guys! Anyways here's chapter 3 hope ya'll enjoy it!_

_PS: Ella Enchanted the movie is coming!!! They say it's supposed to come out spring 2004 or something like that. Starring: Anne Hathaway as Ella and Hugh Dancy as Char (The fact that I'll be a junior when it does indeed come out only sets me off a little)_

_Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 cuz I'm NOT writing another one of these lame ass things._

**Love, Labors, Lost**

**Chapter 2: The Present**

**Rated: PG-13**

"Mama!" the little boy at the Anderson's dinner table exclaimed once Usagi came into view.

She bent down and kissed his forehead and smoothed his pale locks down lovingly. "Hey baby." She cooed, taking a seat next to him.

Kate looked at her husband, asking with her eyes what she should do. Max just shook his head discreetly and quickly cleared his throat.

"Well then, Casey, I believe it's your turn to say grace," he said warmly to the four year old across from him. Keisuke beamed, "Hai!" he replied without thinking, but Usagi shot him a sharp look, and he quickly corrected himself with an "Okay."

"Dear Lord, Thank you for this day and for this food, and the precious hands that prepared it. Amen."

"Amen." Echoed everyone else at the table.

"Wow Aunt Kate, this looks really good!" Keisuke exclaimed excitedly.

Kate smiled, "Why thank you, Casey."

Usagi shifted nervously at the table hoping against hope they would not notice her slightly red nose, or her glossy eyes.

"Serena can you please pass the mash potatoes?" Max asked, poking at his wife's new recipe, craving something familiar before trying what seemed to be a pink and green burrito on his plate. However, when he did not see a slim hand holding a bowl in front of him he looked up to see Usagi sitting exactly as she was.

His brow raised cautiously as he tried again, "Serena?"

Keisuke poked his mother slightly with the end of his fork. "Ma-ma!" he said in a two-toned voice.

Usagi shuttered at 'Mama' and was back, apologizing softly, quickly taking hold of the potato bowl; "I'm sorry Max, I'm not used to being called-" she stopped herself, looking into two pairs of very confused eyes.

"-Serena, a- a woman at work calls me Sere now and I've gotten used to it." She finished, cursing herself silently at the badly executed lie.

Max turned to Kate, and his eyes might as well have screamed, "What the hell?" Kate kicked him underneath the table.

Keisuke, not thinking, calmly added, "You're probably still used to your old name, Mama."

Usagi's head snapped towards her son. "Keisuke!" she hissed.

Keisuke gasped and put both hands over his mouth.

Max leaned in, "And what would that be?"

"Nothing." Usagi answered quickly, she knew Keisuke wouldn't slip up twice, but needed to be sure.

"Anyway," Usagi sighed, changing the subject, "I don't think I apologized to you for being late, I was. caught up." She looked up nervously.

Max gave a Kate a "We need to talk" look, but Kate just smiled and rubbed Usagi's back. "Don't worry about it dear, we were just wondering, that's all."

Usagi looked up, "What did you say baby?"

She was sitting on the side of Keisuke's bed reading "Moby Dick" aloud when Keisuke suddenly interrupted her.

"I said why am I so different from everyone else?"

Usagi closed the book and looked down at him. "Who ever said that you were different?"

"You." he mumbled, "And the kids at school. They call me a freak because I'm so young but I'm smarter than most of them!"

"Baby," Usagi said concerned, "I call you smart, and just because you're smart doesn't mean you're a freak. The kids at your school are all different ages, and are all smart for their ages as well, so I don't see how they could say that you're any different."

Keisuke sat up; "I'm the youngest Mama! I'm the youngest at my school! Why am I so different?! How come no other kids my age are like me?"

"That's enough," Usagi tried to say softly but Keisuke's little mind was bubbling over with questions he'd been smart enough before not to ask, knowing some how or another it would up set his mother. But now the four year old in him was coming out and had questions he just couldn't suppress any longer.

"And, and how come everyone else has a father but not me? Is that why I'm different? How come we have to lie so much to Aunt Kate and Uncle Max? We ARE from Japan right Mama? Your REAL name is Japanese, but YOU give people an English one! You told them you learned Japanese in school, when English was the one you learned! How did you learn it so fast Mama?!"

Usagi was petrified, how had she been so stupid to think that her son wouldn't catch onto her lies? He was so smart; so incredibly smart and she knew he most certainly did not get it form her. How could she explain herself to her son when she wouldn't even could to terms the past herself?

"That's ENOUGH!" she nearly yelled, slamming the book in her hands closed, stopping Keisuke before he could think of any more soul searing questions.

She grabbed both of Keisuke's hands in hers. "Listen Baby, I can't-- we can't talk about those things. I'm sorry Baby but you're just. we just can't!" she whispered frantically.

Keisuke sighed, his mature demeanor returning. He searched his mother's eyes, they seemed. scared? Then in a flash the world around him disappeared and a new one took its place.

Before him was his mother, she was. She was crying! Then a faint silhouette of a tall man in white appeared. Keisuke squinted but there was no need for the figure was growing clearer by the minute. Soon it was as real as his mother was, maybe even more real. But the boy caught on quickly that even though this man was holding his mother, it was not a soothing embrace; in fact his mother seemed to be struggling to get out of his arms. The man threw Usagi down and Keisuke screamed as he saw the man's face fully.

"Mama!" he called into the darkness but the apparition was gone and he was back in his room, Usagi still clutching his hands tightly.

"Those things are all Mommy's business, and all grown up stuff. Let Mommy worry about those things for now. Do you understand everything I'm saying Keisei?" Usagi asked earnestly.

Keisuke blinked, he was still startled but glad his mother didn't notice; she was upset enough already. Softly he replied, "Yes Mama."

Usagi smiled and embraced her son. "That's my baby. You may be as smart as a teenager, but you're always be my baby boy, and I couldn't care less HOW different you are, you'll always be mine." She kissed his forehead and whispered in Japanese, "Aishiteru, atashi no Keisuke." Then she was gone.

Alone again Keisuke lay there, dumbfounded, realization finally striking. He had screamed when he saw the man's face in his vision. He screamed because the man, looked like him.

Usagi slowly closed the door behind her. She leaned against it and tilted her head back to rest.

"Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she yelled silently at herself. Two tears trickled down the side of her face. She lifted herself from the door and proceeded down the hall to her own bedroom.

"I'm just tired," she thought. "All I need is a little rest to get my head back on straight, and then I'll worry about this tomorrow." But her son's questions were still running, fresh and untiring through her mind.

She had almost reached her room when she heard a small muffled noise coming out of her fosters bedroom. Undaunted, she kept walking only to stop dead in her tracks when the muffle evolved into very strong, very audible words.

"Why are you taking HER side?!"

"I'm not taking anyone's SIDE dear, I just think she needn't be bothered over such trivial matters as-"

"TRIVIAL? What is trivial Kate? Oh you mean SMALL things, such as her NAME, where she's FROM, what she's involved in. Small things right?"

"Max, she's been through so much, can you imagine what it would have been like if I had gotten pregnant when WE were fifteen?"

"Do you realize, that we have a complete stranger in our home?"

"Don't talk about her that way! You've known her for 3 years Max! You talk as if she was-"

"She was what?! Involved in the Mob, the CIA? What? God knows what she's running away from. You saw her and her son at dinner!"

"OH! So now it's HER and HER SON. You adore Casey! Serena too! What's gotten into you that you won't even say their names!"

"You know full well that's what this is all about. 'You're probably used to your other name Mama"? Kate I'm sorry but I've held my tongue about this for long enough. I don't know about you, but I would actually like to know who is living under my roof. Who are we protecting Kate?"

"One little incident and you're off! You're always like this! One little thing-"

"Don't give me that Kate, you know full well this isn't the first time she- "

Usagi didn't wait around to hear the rest. She ran into her room and slammed the door. Her world was spinning. How? HOW? She kept asking herself, she'd done so well up to now in keeping her affairs secret and uninteresting. Yet at the dinner table she slipped as if she had stopped using her real name yesterday! She screamed aloud, not caring who heard her. She banged on the wall, tore at her hair, all the while, Keisuke's questions running, running, pounding in her head like merciless waves crashing into the sea.

A ringing noise sounded from her laptop then, and a small box shot up onto her screen. She walked over to it, but paid no heed to the blinking instant message, instead it was the newly written Word document on her desktop that caught her eye. She opened it once more and sunk down into the chair seated in front of it. She read the last couple lines of what she had written.

I was on cloud nine and would stay there, long after my Mamo-chan drove me home. But what I didn't know was that while I was in heaven, a plan was churning in someone's mind, a plan that would turn my newfound heavenly life, into a hell.

It was as if something clicked on then, in Usagi's mind. Awoke would be a more accurate description. A plan. a plan against her, it was planed, this was planned! This Hell she lived was all a plan!

An image of the Man in White arose before her, smirking.

"STOP IT!" Usagi screamed out loud. "GO AWAY! HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH!?"

The figure began to laugh.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

It laughed harder.

Usagi screamed, the tears streaming down her face. "HE SHOULDN'T LOOK LIKE YOU! IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN YOU!" She picked up her laptop and threw it at the man, but he kept laughing.

"Why?" Usagi choked. She fell to her knees and as sobs wracked her body. "They hate me now you know. All of them. Mamo-chan, minna, Kate and Max now too. Even my son is beginning to doubt me," she whispered softly. Looking up at the figure Usagi's eyes began to burn with a feeling she had never felt before a feeling she thought she was incapable of, hatred.

"I FORGAVE you, I CRIED for you. I- I PITIED you!" She said through gritted teeth, venom dripping from every word. "I- I-"

The figure wouldn't stop laughing.

"I- I- I HATE YOU! I COULD BE LIVING HAPPILY WITH MY LOVE AT THIS MOMENT IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! I WISH THIS HAD NEVER HAPPENED! I HATE YOU!"

With that figure was no longer an image but solid and his laughter rang loud and clear throughout the room. He bent down to Usagi's level and grinned,

"So, we meet again. Usako, or should I call you, Serena?"

Suddenly the door swung open and in came Max, shot gun in hand, with Kate close behind.

Usagi jumped up and ran to Max but when she turned around the man was gone.

"What in God's name is going on here? What was all that noise? For Christ sakes Serena, we thought there was a bur-," he stopped, dropped him gun and grabbed both the young girl's shoulders at the sight of her.

She was shaking uncontrollably, and sobbing freely while never moving an inch. Max's voice changed to a soft tone as he wiped the tears away from her face,

"You look as though you've seen a ghost," he whispered, amazed slightly that he actually meant the cliché.

Usagi squinted her eyes nervously and tried to swallow. "I- I have," was all she answered, and then didn't speak another word the rest of the night.

_Note to mangachick and all other readers. This chapter and the next are comeplete. When I origonally posted these, I posted them in segments, about a month or more apart from one another. So the result was somewhat of a cliffhanger at the end of many of these chapters. The format also may have confused you as I did not leave an authors note at the end of these chapters. Well, here is the authors note, and the end of the chapter._

_Claidi Winter_


	4. Chapter 3: The Future

Hello everyone! Again thank you for all the reviews (SO sorry about the deleted ones!). Now it's come to my attention that some people are confused by the story, just bear with it, all will become clear soon, for now I'll say that the story takes place from many different narrative persons. One side is 1st person: Usagi's writing, the other is 3rd person omni. Is also skips from different points in the story, the present, and different points in the past. Like I said just bear with it and it will all come together soon. ^_^ Thank you all for your support and enjoy chapter 4!  
  
PS: another public service announcement! For Claidi Journals fans, there is a book four and it'll be released soon!!!!! (Oh, I was doing cartwheels!) Aight, on with the show!  
  
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all its respective characters do not belong to me in any way, even though I do own quite a bit of their merchandise. however Max, Kate, Jenn, Tyler and Keisuke (Casey) are all my characters and belong to me. (Tyler, you already know I own you ^_-) MUWAHAHAHAHAH *cough, cough* and for those of you who were wondering, the Max who reviewed IS the Max in the story. Well. not really but. ok know what just go do that thing you were going to do, that's right, read my story!  
  
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Love, Labors, Lost.  
  
Chapter 4: The Future  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
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She sat on the edge of her bed her head in her hands. She was losing it; that was for sure. All those years she'd spent, building up a world that would be safe for her son to live in and in less than 24 hours she had smashed holes so big in it she wasn't even sure they were repairable.  
  
Through the slits of her fingers she spotted her discarded laptop that, a few hours ago, she had come so close to breaking. Maybe all she needed was to write some more, she needed to tell someone, anyone! Even if it was just a machine.  
  
"Baka!" she growled at herself. This story would end, just like the rest of them, in the trash bin. She'd tried before, to write her story, so many times she couldn't count but every time she got close to finally admitting it, her hand or pencil or tongue froze. No matter how many times she tried it would not come out. She couldn't bring herself to admit her shame. All the pain she caused, the people she'd hurt, were still hurting. NO! She wouldn't-couldn't think about it, if she did. she screamed again but this time knew enough to cover it with her pillow. She couldn't escape! She had to though, she told herself. Usagi sat up and frowned, she would make herself escape, she'd forget about it all again. It was the only way, or that's what she kept telling herself. Forget. it is the only way.  
  
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Far away, and yet closer than anything else, a figure held a glass of wine, and starred into a bluish globe at the would-be Queen of Crystal Tokyo. His lips curved into an icy smile as he relished in the taste of his drink. Turning away from the globe he set his glass down and wafted in the air. Oh to be alive! Well, breathing anyway, but the way things seemed to be going he would be there soon enough. Turning back to the globe he rubbed his hand together feverishly, it was looking as though she would finally be his.  
  
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"MAMA! I'm going to be LATE!" Keisuke cried as his mother combed his almost translucent hair for what seemed to be the 53rd time.  
  
"I just want to make sure you look good for your first day of school baby," she said teasing him. He sighed and grabbed her hand leading her to their car.  
  
Usagi laughed as she waved goodbye to Max and Kate, and they were off.  
  
"So," she said once they were on the road, glancing at her son through the corner of her eye, "remember what I told you about the other kids baby, if they give you any trouble, just don't listen to them, 'kay? You are amazing; don't let anyone tell you different. Stand up for yourself, and don't let them get to you."  
  
She had made sure that he knew nothing of the incident the night before last. This was her burden, and she would bare it alone. He could torment her all he liked, she deserved it, but she would be dammed if she let him get to her son too.  
  
"I know Mama, don't worry 'bout me, I was just over reacting the other night. I didn't mean to worry you any."  
  
He looked down and traced the lines of his "Power Rangers" lunch box. The boy was wise beyond his years; he normally was very good about not asking the wrong questions, and was perplexed over what could possibly have gotten into him the night before last. People told him he was smart, that he had a lot of 'potential' and would go far, but sometimes he just wished he were normal kid. He wanted to go to kindergarten, paint pictures, play in the mud, make up adventure stories and play hide-and-go-seek.  
  
However unlike most adults Keisuke had encountered, Usagi never treated him any differently than if he was a 'normal' four year-old. What was normal? Every child was different, and so what if her son was smart? To her, he was still her baby Keisuke. He remembered, about a year ago, shortly after his genius was realized and they had enrolled him into a school for the gifted, he had come home from school and ran into her arms, his chubby hands holding shyly his first ever-algebraic equation. He expected her to gape at it and wonder off it, shaking her head in amazement as his teacher had done. Instead, after reading over it she squealed with excitement for him and wrapped him up in one of her famous bear hugs.  
  
"Is this for me?" she had asked hopefully. He nodded enthusiastically and she hugged him once more before scooping him up and proclaiming that it was going right on the fridge because that's where she would see it most often. He laughed at the all too true statement and watched in delight as she stuck it in the most obvious place on the refrigerator. It stayed there for sometime afterward, and was fallowed by many others, each more beloved than the last Once they had out grown the fridge she adorned her room with them, holding them more valuable than any work of art made by even the greatest of painters, and to her, they were.  
  
Usagi sighed and kissed his forehead at a red light. "You never upset me baby, that wasn't your fault." She heaved gripping the steering wheel with both hands. "That wasn't your fault," she repeated. They were silent until Usagi pulled up to the school courtyard.  
  
"We're here!" she said, announcing the obvious, her normal cheery smile once again adorning her lovely features. "Have a wonderful first day."  
  
Keisuke pouted, "Will you walk me in?"  
  
Checking her watch she was about to decline, having a few day classes herself this year, but melted at his look and smiled, "alright, come on."  
  
"Yay!" Keisuke exclaimed, jumping out of the car. She took his hand as he led her inside the building.  
  
Unlike the halls of most middle schools which were filled with art, posters, trophies and pictures, Chesterfield County School for the Gifted hall's were adorned with neatly placed academic lists, test scores, and the names of the top ranking students in the county. This aspect of the school was one Usagi did not care too much for, but inside the individual classrooms, depending on which ever subject the student excelled in, they would have a section of the wall dedicated to their achievements. She was aware however, of the problems her son had been having with the other students, so she had taken special care to arrange that his classes this year were with other children closer to his age.  
  
She grimaced slightly as they neared Keisuke's homeroom, but more at the eager teacher outside of it, but she pasted on a huge grin and fearlessly, or so she'd like to think, approached the middle-aged woman.  
  
"Why hello dear," the woman said to Keisuke with a smile, "Last name please?"  
  
"Tsukino." He said, smiling. The woman looked over her list and nodded.  
  
"Tsukino. Tsukino. ah! Yes Casey. Well then you're in the right place. My name is Mrs. Spencer, and I'll be your Homeroom teacher this year, and you are-?" she turned to Usagi.  
  
"Serena Tsukino," she smiled shaking the woman's hand. "I'm Casey's-"  
  
"Sister, of course! Oh it is so nice to see siblings taking an active role in-"  
  
"I'm not his sister."  
  
Mrs. Spencer leaned in closer, her brows rising above her chained spectacles. "Pardon?"  
  
Usagi sighed mentally, but kept her smile, "I'm not his sister, I'm his mother."  
  
Mrs. Spencer took a step back, sizing her up; trying to rationalize it, she spoke hurriedly. "Oh! I am SO sorry dear, at a first glance you still look to be in your teens but I must have been-"  
  
"No, you were right Mrs. Spencer, I'm 19." She said gritting her teeth, before the woman's expression could fully change to the look of disapproval Usagi was so used to, she checked her watched and exclaimed in mock alarm,  
  
"Oh! My goodness, I better get going or I'm going to be late!" she bent down hurriedly to Keisuke's level and embraced him warmly, "Baby, you have a good day at school, I'll pick you up IN SIDE THE BUILDING, at 3:00 okay?" he nodded, used to his mother's escape routine.  
  
"Good Boy," she said patting his head, mussing up his neatly combed hair. Before disappearing completely out the door she called over he shoulder, "I love you!" and she was gone.  
  
Usagi cursed as she left her son and a baffled teacher behind. Getting in the car she slammed the door, and turning the ignition she speed down the road as fast as she could go with out breaking the speed limit.  
  
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"No man seriously, check this one out!"  
  
"Who? The chick with the pink skirt?"  
  
"No! The one next to her."  
  
"Shit! Now she fine."  
  
"Yo, yo, yo, man! It's that Japanese chick!"  
  
"You mean the one with the kid?"  
  
"Heh, now SHE is fine."  
  
Ah the charming boys of Crossroads High, thought Usagi. Intelligent too, Jesus couldn't they see she was in earshot?  
  
"Man, if all girls who have kids look like her, damn!"  
  
Step outside the circle, she told herself, but heard another snicker and promptly threw the circle away.  
  
"HELLO BOYS," She yelled directly in one of their ears. "NICE TO SEE YOUR VOCAL CORDS ARE WORKING BUT YOUR MOUTH SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM KEEPING ITS TONGUE FROM HANGING OUT!" She reached up and closed the tallest of the three's jaw and walked into the building, rolling her eyes at the "OOOOOO's" she left behind.  
  
However she knew that those boys were not the least of what the school had in store for her that year. As she settled in her own classroom she could already hear the snickers circulating, catching, like a disease infesting its self in each person, the hatred seeping through their eyes like venom from a snake. She knew they didn't know any better, and thinking of her savior, who at one time was also persecuted wrongly, she asked God to forgive them, only her prayer was: forgive them, so I don't have to.  
  
"Alright class settle down!" an authoritative voice boomed throughout the room. After the last few paper airplanes flew by and all spitballs had dropped, the teacher rapped some papers on the desk and began his spiel.  
  
"As all of you know I am Mr. Johns, and for all of you who don't, now you do, I will be your homeroom teacher for the remainder of the year, and (thankfully) will only be seeing you about five or six times between the two semesters. You all are seniors this year and- would anyone mind explaining to me what's so funny?!"  
  
The class burst out laughing as a cheerleader pointed to the redhead standing in the doorway. So it was not she who they were snickering at, it was this poor girl! Usagi looked over her attire and found the reason for their scorn; she was dressed in a black Renaissance style ensemble. The top was a tank resembling a corset that showed, but not to distaste, the rounds of her chest. The skirt was floor length, and looked to be divided into three sections, black on each side and dark purple down the middle.  
  
Usagi's heart went out to her as she stood nervously in the doorway, like a rabbit caught off guard. She gripped her backpack tightly with one hand, her other held her schedule but was presently resting on her flat stomach. She looked to be about sixteen, perhaps seventeen at most. She had shoulder length Strawberry-blonde hair that would have been curly, but was now straightened, probably by a bun she could have had it in earlier. Her eyes were a soft green and her skin the color of porcelain, tinted lightly red with embarrassment. But there was something about this girl, she seemed through it all. Usagi tried, but couldn't put her finger exactly what it was this girl seemed to exude.  
  
Mr. Johns turned to the girl, his hand resting idly on his hip. "Yes miss can I help you?"  
  
The girl scratched the back of her auburn head and squinted at her schedule. "Um, did you say this was the senior homeroom class?" her voice was soft but clear, sure.  
  
"Yes, yes it is."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry then I-"  
  
"Are you a senior?"  
  
"No sir, I'm a sopho-"  
  
He cut her off once more, agitated, "Name?"  
  
"Jenn Carl."  
  
He looked over a list in his hands, "Well then Ms. Carl, you belong in room 201, it's right down the hall"  
  
She gave him a grateful smile, "oh thank you sir, so sorry for the interruption." With that she was gone.  
  
Mr. Johns turned back to the class and sighed, "as I was saying, you all are seniors now and I expect that kind of behavior out of you." He coughed loudly, waking a few dozers, but sighed again, defeated. "Know what, ya'll know the drill, so instead of wasting my breath, here are your schedules, try to talk -quietly- 'till the bell rings."  
  
The room sounded like an explosion of voices at the permission of speech, but one stuck out above the rest. "Oh THANK you sir, SO sorry for the interruption. PLEASE! Could she be any more of a slut? I mean really, why is she even wasting her time on an education? OBVIOUSLY she knows another way around." The voice was Jessica's, the blonde cheerleader who had pointed to the girl when she first appeared, Usagi's #1 tormenter the entirety of their junior year.  
  
The sheep around her erupted in a high-pitched laughter that sounded much like machine guns going off. Jessica turned, with silted eyes, to Usagi, "I mean at least Tsukino over here," she drawled, pronouncing her last name with the worst accent, "didn't FLAUNT herself like that girl. How old are you now by the way Sere, nineteen? And your brat is. five?"  
  
Usagi could have punched the living daylights out of her then. The nerve! Talking about her baby that way. But instead she grit her teeth, gave her a tight smile and said, "Four, and isn't it funny how his GPA, on a high school level, is higher than yours would be if they combined all 3 of your high school years?"  
  
Jessica gaped at her, mortified, but before the anorexic looking girl could think of a come back the bell had wrung and Usagi was out the door.  
  
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"Thank, GOD it's lunch time I'm SOO hungry!" Jenn Carl exclaimed to a tall jock wearing a Crossroads High Football Jersey.  
  
The jock smiled, and shrugged, "yeah but what else is new? OW!" he exclaimed, rubbing his smacked shoulder. "Hey, I only speak the truth."  
  
The two certainly were a spectacle, and mouths dropped as they chatted their way to the cafeteria. Yes it was bound to happen that a person of Jenn's 'type' would happen to pass by a jock, but never, well obviously not never because here they were, but almost never would you find the two to be actually saying something other than "get out of my way!" to one another.  
  
Jenn tugged on the jock's jersey. "Hey lets sit over here today." She said motioning to a table different from their norm.  
  
He shrugged turning from his current destination. "Sure, whatever." He said and plotted himself down next to the redhead.  
  
Usagi looked up slowly as she heard a familiar voice at a table near hers, and strangely, found herself happy to be starring at who she recognized as the girl from that morning. She was not sure what it was that made her do what she did next. Perhaps it was a more outgoing Usagi, left over from her earlier teen years, that acted then, but whatever the case, Usagi rose and approached the girl and her male friend.  
  
"Hey, you're a senior aren't ya?" Jenn said once Usagi had greeted her. Without giving Usagi time to respond, Jenn grinned introducing herself, "My name's Jennifer, but please call me Jen, and jock boy here is Tyler," she said punching his arm slightly.  
  
Usagi smiled, this girl was cute, and so sweet! She cursed Jessica for her stereotyping before shaking the enthusiastic girl's hand "I'm U- Serena." Usagi cursed herself this time, this girl may be nice, but it was no reason to let her guard down. "Serena Tsukino."  
  
At that the girl let out a squeal of excitement. She jumped up and put both hands flat on the table. "You have the COOLEST name I've EVER heard! Japanese right?" She lowered herself down dreamily, "Why couldn't I have been born Japanese?"  
  
"Jenn takes Japanese, she's a huge fanatic," Tyler offered to a surprised Usagi.  
  
"I see," Usagi laughed, then raised an eye brow, "do you like anime by any- "  
  
"Are you SERIOUS? I LOVE Anime, that's why I decided to take Japanese."  
  
Usagi gasped in excitement, the girl's youthful outlook catching, "REALLY? I haven't found ANYONE here who likes it!"  
  
Tyler rolled his eyes as the two girls chattered on about Gundam Wing, Rayearth, Trigun, and some other names he could not pronounce. Oddly enough Jenn was the first to calm down, a dazed look in her eyes,  
  
"Of the moon, what an awesome thing to be." she sighed, referring to Usagi's name.  
  
"Try it," she whispered but before either could ask anything she turned to Jenn, "So how old ARE you? I mean I know you're a sophomore from this morning but."  
  
"I'm only fifteen." She announced sadly.  
  
"But she acts like she's five." Tyler added, but moved in time to dodge slap he had coming. Jen glared while he grinned famously back at her. "Hey go make yourself useful and buy us some food." She said finally, turning back to Usagi.  
  
He groaned, "But the line's about to close!"  
  
"Well then you best get a move on boy!" she said, pushing him towards the line.  
  
"I'm goin', I'm goin'." He grumbled.  
  
Usagi laughed again. "You two certainly are a cute couple."  
  
Jenn stared blankly at her for a moment and then it was her turn to laugh. "Oh don't I wish."  
  
Usagi looked puzzled, "You mean you two aren't."  
  
"Nope, sadly, Ty doesn't want a girlfriend until he gets out of high school. Too busy he says, which I understand." But she sighed, and Usagi recognized a familiar longing in her eyes as she watched the junior head towards the lunch line.  
  
"Obedient though," she laughed tearing her eyes away from his retreating form. "So, what made you come over here, not that I mind at all... just curious."  
  
Usagi sighed and was about to respond, apologize for her classmate's snickering, when a boy came up from behind Jenn and smacked her butt quickly, laughing and jumped ten feet when Jenn jumped up herself enraged and screamed at the fleeing boy,  
  
"Ian Connie, you ASSHOLE! You KNOW I've already put one convicted felon away! Wanna be the next?" She was about to go after him herself, but noticed that Tyler had witnessed the scene, and was already on the case, chasing the boy's sorry ass down the hall.  
  
Jenn smiled, despite herself, at his predicament as Tyler pinned the boy up against a locker, releasing him in time before a teacher walked by.  
  
Usagi winced, shoving the surfacing memories back down to where they came from quickly.  
  
Jenn sighed and sat down, "Sorry bout that. Some guys are just pricks, but I ain't sacred of 'em."  
  
Usagi thought back to what she had yelled to the boy, something told her it was not her place, but curiosity got the best of her.  
  
"Oh," Jenn huffed, waving her previous statement aside with her hand. "I just-," she stopped and lowered her usually loud voice, but only a bit, "This guy, he molested me when I was a kid, he was my babysitter, he ran a home dare care center."  
  
Jenn caught the concern in Usagi's eyes and shook her hands wildly; comforting her, "Don't worry! Oh don't worry about it, he's serving his ass five years probation and a lifetime under Megan's Law. Everywhere and anywhere he goes for the rest of his life the cops are gonna know just who and what he is." She blurted out surprising herself. Normally, she wasn't this open with strangers about her past. Something told her though, that this girl, Serena, would need what she had just told her. Somehow, she knew, and today strong forces had been at work, to shove the two together, first that morning, she'd seen her more times than she could count in the hall, and now this.  
  
Jenn leaned back resting her hands on the stools on either side of her. That same look Usagi had seen earlier crept their way into the sophomore's eyes, the one she couldn't figure out, but didn't think about it as this new information reeled in her mind. She couldn't believe it! Here this girl was, a real live survivor of something quite similar to what she herself had been through! She LOOKED happy, and they way she talked about it, so openly, as if she were telling her about a cold she'd just gotten over, or the time she fell off her bike when she was five. Could it be that there was hope for people like her?  
  
Jenn grinned at her, "I'm free," she said just as the bell rang and that lunch period ended.  
  
"I'll see ya around, kay?" Jenn called over her shoulder as she met up with Tyler and he handed her a sandwich to scarf down as she congratulated him on a job well done dealing with the little puke from earlier. However the same something from before told her that she wouldn't have to see her again, or at least not soon, and if she did, it would let her know.  
  
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The morning after Mamo-chan and I reconciled, I awoke with butterflies in my stomach. For the first time since that horrid day he broke up with me, I felt truly alive.  
  
However that day was also not to be our last encounter with the Black Moon. We fought a number of tiresome battles after that, knowing only that was that they were trying to open something called the "Black Gate" and that this could not be allowed to happen. But we had just gotten a breakthrough; Chiba-Usa finally gave in to our pleas to travel into the future, and help her mother. You see, Chibi-Usa is, though I didn't know it at the time, my future daughter, my and Mamo-chan's rather. In a future that should be pending now. Well, sort of. Perhaps I should start from the beginning.  
  
Chiba-Usa came to us from one thousand years into the future. When I say us, I mean Mamo-chan and I, right on top of us actually, totally ruining what would be one our last blissful dates. Somehow, Mamo-chan, to my ultimate fury, took a liking to her, and brought her to my house, where she promptly convinced, or hypnotizing really, my entire family into believing that she was our beloved cousin. From then on I was sure that she was a demon from below, contrary to the way she descended upon us, sent to destroy any remaining happiness left in my life. I mean her eyes were red for Pete's sake! The odd thing was that no matter how much she got me in trouble, or screwed up, or embarrassed me, I still had this strong feeling of warmth for her. Which I later determined to be love, the kind a parent has for their child.  
  
It was soon after her arrival, we were introduced to the Black Moon family, our newest enemy. They came from a place they claimed to be "30th century Crystal Tokyo", and, as we found out shortly thereafter, Chibi-Usa belonged to this same future, and that it was she whom the Black Moon Family was after.  
  
After that it was a constant struggle to protect her, keep her out of harms way, and when harm has overwhelming unnatural powers, well, it becomes quite a task. The small pink haired girl talked constantly about her mother, and how much she wanted to go home, to the 30th century. She tried many times, mainly when she was mad at me, and failed. However once she told us that her mother was in jeopardy, we persuaded her to reveal her key, and let us help her save her mother by traveling into the future, where we were the man in white would await us.  
  
I leaned against his shoulders letting his arm fall comfortably around me.  
  
"Whatcha thinking about?" he whispered when I was so quiet. I shifted a bit getting reacquainted with the soft tones he used.  
  
"Chibi-Usa," I sighed, little brat took up our time even when she wasn't with us. "Who in the world is she Mamo-chan?" I continued, "I mean yes, she's from the future, and she must be important if the Black Moon wants her so badly, but I just can't figure how we fit in to all of this. She says she needs to save her mom but we don't even know who she either, we don't know anything." I squinted my eyes playing with a new thought, "Ya know, she doesn't even exist yet, in this world, she's yet to be born, it's weird to think about, but it's true ya know?"  
  
He chuckled amused with my new concept, "Yes, I suppose you're right, and yet, she's sleeping at your house now. When she wakes up she'll eat, and she'll talk and she'll laugh." He raised my chin to look him in the eye, "She's as real as you and me Usa," he kissed my forehead lightly, and laughed himself, "Ya know, I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up being related to you somehow after all. The two of you are so much alike, that's why I took such a liking to her. She was like a small version of you. Why do you think I surrounded myself with her constantly when we were apart?"  
  
I blushed and sighed, turning away as he kissed the curve of my neck. He leaned his forehead to mine and whispered, "It'll all be alright Usako, as long as you're by my side, I know everything will be alright." He claimed my lips for his, and the rest of the world faded away and I was lost in him.  
  
"Are we all ready?" I asked my fellow soldiers, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus, placing a hand on Chibi-Usa's shoulder.  
  
"Hai!" They affirmed.  
  
I knelt down to Chibi-Usa's level. "All right now kido, do your thing, we're right here."  
  
She nodded shyly, and looked to Mamo-Chan for further reassurance, when he smiled back at her she sighed and lifted the key in the air. "I beseech you God of time, Chronos! Let us pass through the gates of time! Crystal Key, take us home! Home to the 30th century, so Sailor Moon can save my mommy!"  
  
The earth rumbled and a burst of light erupted from the key. We cried out for the young girl but we were all absorbed in the light, and in a flash we were traveling through what seemed to be a tunnel, only it wasn't. There is not a word in the English language, or even the Japanese one, to describe what we went through. A passage of sorts would be fairly accurate. It was if the entire world was around us and yet a million miles away at the same time.  
  
I will not go into detail about the battle we fought there in what Sailor Pluto called the "Time Warp", because I simply do not remember most of it. Only that we were split up, there was a monster, and we defeated it. What we encountered afterwards surpasses most anything else in my memory, and even now I can remember it more vividly than sometimes even what I ate for breakfast that morning.  
  
We stood before those majestic doors of time, as if on trial before the world, and we were. We were about to witness the effects of the sentencing fate had given our world. Mamo-chan squeezed my hand tightly as the doors slowly creaked open and before us lay the majestic city of Crystal Tokyo, our home in the 30th century. Only it lay in total desertion and ruins.  
  
"My God..." Venus whispered in awful reverence, "This can't be our f- future... can it?"  
  
I couldn't believe my eyes. The city was, well, it was incredible to say the least, but the air was so thick, and it smelt of death. I hid my face in my beloved's cape. Not wanting to be a witness to the travesty.  
  
Chibi-Usa hugged her floating, cat-faced ball, which she called "Puu" or "Luna P"; tears filled her eyes, "Mommy!" she called as she ran out into the fog and disappeared from our view.  
  
"Son-of-a," Mamo-chan muttered as he released me and ran after her. "Usa! Chibi-Usa!" he cried desperately into the fog.  
  
"Chibi Usa-Chan! Come back!" Venus yelled as she followed him into the fog, the rest of us in suit.  
  
We stopped on a particularly foggy path, out of breath. I cursed silently. She was always doing this, the little brat! Leading us into a wild goose, or in her case, rabbit chase. But then I remembered our surroundings, and that this god forsaken place was her home. It was then that all of her pain suddenly sunk in. I wanted to cry for her, hold her and tell her I was sorry for giving her such a hard time, but she wasn't there for me to hold!  
  
However my thoughts were suddenly interrupted and I was suddenly on my guard, instincts taking over as a figure began to appear out of the fog.  
  
"Who's there?!" Jupiter yelled into the mist. No answer.  
  
"Don't wanna talk eh?" Mars fumed, "I'LL make you talk, MARS... FIRE- "  
  
"Wait!" Mamo-chan, or rather Tuxedo Kamen, ordered as the figure came into view.  
  
I clamped a hand over my mouth, and tugged at Tuxedo Kamen's cape, "Ma-Mamo-chan! He looks just like you!"  
  
I couldn't see past his mask, but I could just feel his eyes widen as he took notice of the uncanny resemblance. "You're, you're right, he- it can't be..."  
  
The rest of us stood there slack jawed as the figured raised his head and smiled at us, his own mask clearing and stormy blue clashed with stormy blue as the only two men present starred into each other's barred eyes.  
  
"Greetings, I welcome you all to the 30th century." He spoke and suddenly my train of thought became hazy, 'his voice!' my mind screamed. Deep, and solid, commanding even, a hint of arrogance... and it hit me like a brick. This voice, this voice was the very same that threatened me in my dreams to stay away from Mamo-chan!  
  
Realization dawned my features, but to my left, a growl ripped through the air.  
  
"You..." Tuxedo Kamen drawled, his voice dripping with rage.  
  
"Mamo-" I tried to reason with him but he was too far-gone.  
  
"You SONOFABITCH!" he yelled as he charged for the man. Five female voices cried out, but the man from our nightmares didn't even draw the sword that was attached to his side. We soon found why, as Tuxedo Kamen lay on the ground behind him. He had gone right through the man!  
  
"What the-" Tuxedo muttered, a bit dazed. The figure, now very obviously an apparition, only chuckled.  
  
"Not a very nice thing to say about your own mother." He turned around and gave a slight bow to Mamoru, who was slowly rising himself off the ground. "I am sorry for not introducing myself sooner. I am King Endymion, your future self Chiba Mamoru."  
  
Tuxedo Kamen's jaw fell to the ground, or at least looked as if it could have. "Whadidyousay?" he mumbled, almost drunkenly.  
  
King Endymion turned around, ignoring his past self, and smiled sadly, but famously at me. "Your future husband."  
  
I shook my head. This didn't make any sense! "If you are who you say you are, then why would you send nightmares to spilt, Mamo- err, you and... Why would you want to spilt US up?"  
  
Mercury placed a claming hand on my shoulder, "Usa-chan, it's okay, I'm sure his, highness," she giggled at the word, for is must have sounded odd referring to Mamo-chan as royalty, "has a good explanation for this."  
  
King Endymion nodded, "Thank you Sailor Mercury, and I do have a good explanation, however it would be wise for us to move to the safety of the palace before I explain anything."  
  
He turned and began to walk away but I called after him, "What about Chibi- Usa?" I demanded. He paused and looked back over his purple caped shoulder, "Do not worry about the Small Lady, I have found her and she is well. Please, come, there is much I need to tell you, and we haven't much time."  
  
I amazed myself when I obeyed his words, he just seemed so... regal, and you just had to trust him. So we followed, completely unaware of the nightmare that lay ahead of us. Well, me anyway. I only found out later that nowhere in this accursed future was it 'safe', even at that very moment, we were being watched.  
  
"I am surprised they made it this far, highness." A blue haired man mused as he gazed into the crystal ball with his brother. However, his white- haired sibling and prince only had eyes for one of the seven figures in the ball, as he zoomed in on the blonde figure.  
  
"She is so beautiful, don't you think brother? It really is amazing how very much she looks like Serenity already. She's only 14 you know, Nemesis! Fourteen year old girls aren't supposed to look like that!"  
  
"Highness, may I remind you that Sailor Moon is still a girl, and not yet Serenity, the woman you love." He turned from the ball to face his brother, and flinched.  
  
"What are you saying Saffir? Are you saying that she is too young for me?" The prince hissed.  
  
"No Dimando I was just say-" Saffir tried, but was cut off and rudely put in his place.  
  
"HIGHNESS!"  
  
"Highness," he sighed, clenching his fist, trying to calm the tick that was forming above his left eye. "All I'm saying is that she might not be ready-"  
  
"SERENITY IS SERENITY! NO MATTER WHAT AGE!" Dimando walked briskly over to where his brother was standing and took hold of his uniform's neckline, lifting his slightly off the ground.  
  
"Are you telling me that the one time, one age, one WHATEVER! Are you saying that the one opportunity I have to make her mine; you're worried about some earthling LEAGAL SITUATION?! Then what the FUCK is she doing with... HIM?" he pointed an accusatory finger to the image of Tuxedo Kamen on his globe. "I don't think the problem is that I'm too old, I think HE'S too young! Don't you see Saffir? She needs a real man! Not some puny 18- year-old smart-ass! Look where he gets her! Imprisoned in a crystal glass! Sure I did it, but he's the reason why!"  
  
Saffir gulped as Dimando released him, he knew then his brother really was going mad, but he was his brother! What was he supposed to do? Desert him? Never. So he only stood by calmly as his brother and Prince ran a hand through his hair and came up with a "fool proof plan" that would make the, "Little Rabbit" his, forever.  
  
************************  
  
"All right class, settle down. Now, first off I know you are excited to be back in school, so I would like to start by welcoming you all back to another great year at Chesterfield County School for the Gifted." Mrs. Spencer began her introductory speech to Keisuke's Class.  
  
"Now, I have with me here all of your teachers," she said, motioning to her left, the six teachers standing there. "Going down the line: Mrs. Wilma Harrison will be your social studies teacher, Mr. Jason Carter, your English teacher, Mr. William Arlington will teach you math, Ms. Emily Carlton will be offering computer studies, for those of you who are interested see her after class, Language Coordinator is Ms. Sharon Drive, you will meet your individual language instructors next period.  
  
"Now last but certainly not least, this year we have a special guest science instructor, who is actually here to earn his graduate degree, his name is Mr. ah... hmm..."  
  
Mrs. Spencer turned to the man apologetically, "I'm sorry sir, but can you please say your name, I know you told me but-"  
  
The man smiled charmingly, "It is quite all right," He reassured, then turning back to the children, "My name is Chiba, Mr. Mamoru Chiba." 


	5. Chapter 4: Gathering Fog

Hello all and welcome to chapter 4 of Love, Labors, Lost. Sorry it once again took me so long to post, but I couldn't wait any longer, my cliffhanger even worked on me! Is it healthy to be waiting up at night wondering what's going to happen in your own story? Hmm, oh well, I guess I'll find out now, along w/ the rest of you Sailor Moon happy kidz! I LOVE EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED AND READ (are reading) MY STORY! Seriously I read all of your reviews like 500000 times, I was so touched! Please feel free to add any suggestions or constructive criticism as well! Thanks a bunch!  
  
Disclaimer: Do I really have to write this? Ya'll know the drill.  
  
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Love Labors Lost.  
  
Chapter 4: Gathering Fog  
  
Rated: PG-13, as always.  
  
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"To be alive! Oh to be alive!" The dark prince sang as he paced the room. "And the boy, my son! Oh, can you believe it? A son! Not only will I have a wife, but an heir as well!" he chuckled.  
  
He took a sip of his wine toasting himself and turned to his crystal globe, eyes burning into the soul of the sobbing girl displayed there. He traced her outline with a finger. This was all that man's fault. Making her cry like this, he should be ashamed! To think the man was still searching for her even to this day! Couldn't he see that she left for a reason? He saw now it was his son, their son, he was the reason. His plan worked out after all, she had no choice but to be his now.  
  
"Keep on writing Love, hate me. DESPISE me, you'll realize the truth soon enough." He let an ear piercing cackle sound throughout the room as the figure in his globe suddenly dried her tears, and continued with her work.  
  
***********************  
  
Mamoru ran a hand through his hair as he took out a coke from the faculty fridge. He had forgotten how tiring teaching could be, but this was the only way for him to earn his graduate.  
  
He ran his assignment over again in his head as he and sat down on the couch, laughing slightly at the teacher's luxurious lounge room.  
  
"The effect of young genius minds on modern day views of Science." He groaned as his head fell back to rest on the rim of his couch, he knew the rest by heart, "At the end of the term, you are required to select one child out of the group, whose intellect is slightly, or highly above rest, to nominate for our studies."  
  
The image of a particularly bright student suddenly popped into his head then. For some reason, he had taken a liking to this boy. Perhaps because he was of Japanese decent and it was something familiar in a strange land. Well, not so strange, he had been here before; the last time he was, it was with... NO! He would NOT think of her today, or any day this week. It was not that he had given up hope on her, far from it. But according to his physiatrist he was forming an "unhealthily obsession" with her- disappearance.  
  
He smirked to himself, since when had he ever listened to his shrink? But in any case he looked around the room for another distraction. He couldn't go home yet; he still had several papers to grade. AH HA! That was it. He picked up his brief case and opened up his laptop, along with his school files.  
  
The boy appeared once again in his head. It was not just that the boy was a touch above the rest, even though they were all very bright children, but something about him seemed familiar. His feelings towards the boy were strange, as if he wanted to hug and strangle him both at the same time. He shook his head once more. What was his name? It was an American one.  
  
He rapidly hit the 'up' button on his list of student names. Cassandra, Cassie, Casey- CASEY! He scrolled over to see a last name and stopped dead when he reached it. He read it once, twice; three times, and still it stayed the same. Casey Tsukino.  
  
Images came rushing back into his head, explanations, reasons, anything to disprove what he just saw. But did he really want to disprove it? The strange thing was, he had no idea why this name was so important to him. He knew he was supposed to remember it, but it was as if something, or someone, was blocking the part of his memory that connected to this name.  
  
Suddenly images came back to him in a flash, memories he knew all too well.  
  
***********************  
  
Eighteen-year-old Chiba Mamoru steeped out of his shower rubbing his jet- black hair vigorously with a towel. He wrapped another around his waist and ran to the ringing phone, smiling when he saw her family name on the caller ID. No doubt Usako was calling to tell him she'd be running late, as usual, and to "please not be mad" although he never was. Something had been bothering her lately, ever since they had gotten back from the 30th century, and even after the Black Moon and Wiseman was defeated but he had passed it off as her missing Chibi-Usa, or maybe even shy about the fact that they would one day be married and that Chibi-Usa would be their daughter. However it had been a good three months since they defeated the Black Moon and she was still not her usual self. Even with the coming of March, which for her meant only two more months of school, she was still. out of sync was the only was to describe it. So tonight he planned to get to the bottom of it.  
  
With this in mind he grinned as his picked up the phone.  
  
"Hey beautiful."  
  
"Ma-Mamoru-san?" a shaky woman's voice was on the other line was heard, and Mamoru could barely make it out as Iluko, Usagi's mother.  
  
"Oh! Moshi Moshi Iluko-san, is everything all right?" he asked, concern lining his voice.  
  
"Mamoru-san, is, is Usa there with you by any chance?" her voice was beginning to crack despite her obvious attempt to keep it steady.  
  
Now it was Mamoru's turn to worry, "No... She's supposed to meet me at Kabuto's in an hour. She- isn't she with you?"  
  
Iluko burst into tears and Mamoru could picture her clutching the phone on the other line, "Oh Kami-sama, Mamoru-san! We can't find her!"  
  
"Iluko-san, calm down, shh. it's all right. I'm sure she's up and about somewhere... Here, I'm getting dressed right now I'll go look for her." He soothed, hopping into a pair of jeans, trying to calm himself more than the distressed mother on the other line.  
  
"No Mamoru-san! That's, that's the thing!" she gasped in between choked sobs. "Her room, everything seems to be okay, but... her dresser! Mamoru- san where could she be?" not letting him respond she continued, "We called all her friends, she's not over at any of their houses! Minako, Rei, Ami, Makoto, she's not with any of them! Not even Naru! Her dresser! It's, there's nothing inside it! NOTHING! Except for a couple of old shirts that don't fit her anymore!"  
  
With every word Mamoru blanched more and more, and soon his face had lost all color completely. But what made him hang up and run out the door was not the missing clothes, there could be an explanation for that, but when she said, "She took the picture of the two of you," he was gone.  
  
He searched every store, every park, every house, for four years he searched them. But even with the help of Ami's computer, and Luna's magical devices, they found nothing. It was as if she literally dropped off the face of the planet.  
  
Her mother went into a hyperactive state. She refused to do anything with her time but search, harass the police, the private eyes, everyone they knew. It was not until about the third year that she just gave up, not only did she give up, she would not acknowledge that Usagi was even missing. She talked and acted as if nothing had changed, and her beloved daughter was still by her side.  
  
For Mamoru's part, he was in another form of denial, one that the Senshi had only recently realized and come out of, but Mamoru could not and would not accept that she might never be coming back.  
  
"You, still don't get it," he tried explaining to four sad humans, and one feline, "If she's not coming back, if that's true, then I have no reason... I have no reason to live..."  
  
Rei jumped up from her seat, "Now THAT is NOT true, what about your career? You've wanted to be a doctor, or a scientist or whatever it is, your whole life! We miss her too God dammit! Don't you think that we wish everyday for her back? But we have to go on, and accept the fact that that might not be the case!" he was about to argue his point once more, but she sighed and spoke first, "Mamoru, I know we've always been a bit closer than you might be with everyone else. I- I consider you to be, somewhat of a brother to me, which is why I don't want you to throw everything away that you've worked for years to achieve. You might say that it's nothing without her-,"  
  
"Usako," he corrected, not liking the way she was avoiding her name.  
  
"Usagi," she continued slowly, "but, but you have to start thinking of yourself. All right, say you do find her, what are you going to have to show her?"  
  
She leaned over and took his hands in hers, "Mamoru-kun, PLEASE, take this job you've been offered in America, I know you want to earn your degree right?"  
  
"Well... yes," he said, still cautious she might be implying that he give up on his Usako. "Yes, of course I do but-"  
  
"Then good," she cut him off, "take this trip, who knows, it's one of the places we haven't searched personally, and it's a long shot but she just might be there, and even if she ISN'T then think of it as... a break, of sorts. It'll help clear your mind, will you do that Mamoru-san? If not for yourself, then do it for me..."  
  
He sighed, defeated. "Alright, alright I'll do it." He grimaced at his subjection, tears threatening to fall. "I miss her so much."  
  
Rei's heart broke at the sight of him, and for the first time she cried, she lunged for Mamoru and hugged him tightly, sobbing all the while. Her best friend in the whole world was gone and there had been nothing she could do to bring her back.  
  
Ami looked away as Makoto clenched her fist. A tear fell from Minako's eye and Luna let out a howl. And Rei and Mamoru clung to each other, holding onto one another as if they could somehow squeeze their best friend and lover out of the other.  
  
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Mamoru growled at the memory. "I swear I'll find you Usako, and when I do, I'm never letting go."  
  
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"So what happened the otha right Sere? I I.M.-ed ya and you didn't respond!" Molly paused from scrubbing the table and asked in her very thick accent, true to her upbringing in the Bronx.  
  
Usagi laughed and waved her hand uneasily, "Sorry, Casey and I had a small argument. I was distracted." Boy was that was an understatement.  
  
Molly shrugged and returned to her work, "Oh, I'm sorry Serena, didn't mean to pry, ya just always answer um so I was surprised is awl."  
  
Usagi smiled at her co-worker and friend. They both worked at "The Twelve Months" restaurant, a chain originating from New York. Molly's parents owned the restaurant and had just moved to Virginia the year before when they decided to branch out their chain to the south, as upscale restaurants were becoming a fad there.  
  
Molly had no friends and was very out of place it being her senior year. She met Usagi, who was eighteen, but only a junior at the time as she had taken off a year from school when Keisuke was born, and they became friends immediately. It was Molly who saved her pride by giving her a job at her parents restaurant, which paid significantly more than her previous job at a pizza parlor, thus allowing her to pay rent, and feel like she was earning her stay at the Anderson's house, even though they assured her it wasn't necessary.  
  
She lived for her work hours now that Molly had graduated, it was one of the only times she got to have fun and actually feel like a teenage girl. Even if it was work, she and Molly always found something to giggle about in between orders.  
  
Usagi shot up from cleaning and glanced at the clock. "SHIT!" she yelled wiping her hands and running to use the phone.  
  
Molly grabbed her arm, "Sere what's the matta? It's only 3:00!"  
  
"I know!" Serena groaned. "I forgot all about my new hours this morning when I dropped Casey off, and I told him I'd be there at 3:00, NOW!"  
  
She was about to dial the school's number when Molly clicked the receiver. "Don't worry about it Hun, I'll cova for ya, go get ya kid."  
  
Usagi's eyes softened, "Moll, I couldn't ask you to-"  
  
Molly shrugged her off, "Gwan', get outta here. Sides I owe ya one from last year." At Usagi's blank look she rolled her eyes exasperated.  
  
"Ya know that time me and Melvin were makin' out! Jesus! You're late as it is, shoo!" She shoved Serena towards the door and draped her coat over her shoulder along with her purse.  
  
Serena stopped on her way out and hugged her friend briefly, "thanks girl, you're the best."  
  
"Whata friends for?"  
  
*************************  
  
Mamoru whistled as he packed up his suitcase and was on his way out the school when he spotted a boy sitting alone in the cafeteria. He leaned his head in the door, "Hey kido, what are ya still doin here? All after school activities are closed today."  
  
The little boy whirled around and to Mamoru's surprise and even delight, even though he wasn't quote sure why the later, it was none other than Casey Tsukino, the bright boy he was thinking of recruiting for his study.  
  
The boy smiled softly, "Nah uh, there was study hall, but my mommy's just late is all." He squinted his eyes at him as Mamoru stepped fully into the doorway. "Hey, you're Mr. Chiba my science teacher right?"  
  
Mamoru grinned, "Yup, sure am. Say do you want me to wait with you until your mom comes?"  
  
Keisuke beamed, he had liked Mr. Chiba the best out of all his other teachers so far that day, so he happily obliged. "Sure! I could sure use the company!"  
  
Mamoru set down his suitcase on the lunch table and sat on the stool across from the boy, bemused by the way his speech would jump from amateur language, to the way and adult would speak.  
  
"I wonder where my mom could be, she's never this late." He said worriedly, scratching his head.  
  
"I wouldn't be too worried, it's only quarter after, I'm sure she'll be here any minute." Mamoru tried to reassure him, but Keisuke still looked worried.  
  
"Um, so tell me, is it just you and your mom?" He asked in an attempt to keep his mind off of it.  
  
"No, we live with Aunt Kate and Uncle Max. Well, they're not my real Aunt and Uncle, they're-I'm not sure. They take care of us, they were my mom's foster parents since she was sixteen but when she turned eighteen, they couldn't be her legal guardians anymore, but they like us a lot so they let us stay with them."  
  
"How old was she when she had you? If you don't mind me asking of course." Mamoru inquired, taking an interest in this young boy's tale.  
  
He hesitated, knowing he shouldn't be sharing so much information with a stranger. But he was his teacher, and Keisuke always had a knack for telling if a person was to be trusted or not, and everything told him that he could defiantly trust Mr. Chiba.  
  
"She was fifteen when she had me. We lived in New York for a year in a shelter. Kate and Max met my mom at a baby store when they were on a tour of the city. They were thinking about having a baby, and so they chatted with my mom cause I was, ya know, little and all. They're really sweet people and when they found out our situation they took us in right away."  
  
He looked down, expecting the normal wave of shock and disapproval to cover the young man's features.  
  
"That must have been tough on your mom huh? Raising a kid so young. You too, but from the looks of it, she's done an all right job." Mamoru said softly, smiling at the four year old.  
  
Keisuke shot him a surprised glance, "You, you mean you don't think my mom's a bad person for having me so young?" he asked hopefully.  
  
Mamoru almost laughed in disgust over who would think such a thing, but knew better than to actually do so. Instead he gave another warm smile before answering. "Well, for one thing, I have no idea what circumstances she had you under. So I'm in no position to judge you or your mother. Even if it was choice on her part, everyone makes mistakes, but then wonderful things come out of them. You seem like you must be a wonderful thing in your mom's life am I right?"  
  
Keisuke looked up into the older man's eyes with what seemed to be pride. He hadn't let him down on being worthy of his trust. "Yeah, she's sad a lot of the time, but she says that she's only sad cause she loves me so much and wants me to be happy. She says I make her happy too."  
  
Keisuke blushed, "I'm sorry Mr. Chiba, I know I talk too much, but no one ever really listens, besides Mama, but she knows all this already and bringing it up makes her sad."  
  
"Don't worry Casey, you're fine. Besides isn't that what teachers are for? To listen? Where I come from people don't listen nearly enough until it's too late..." He drifted off but before Keisuke could pick up on his sad tone, a soft voice was heard behind them.  
  
"Casey?"  
  
Keisuke whirled around and squealed in delight, "Mama!"  
  
Usagi knelt down to his level, as her arms encircled her son. "Oh gosh baby I'm so sorry I'm late. I forgot my schedule changed at work! I'll have to pick you up right after I get out of school from now on, and drop you off at home." She pulled him out to arms length to face her, as she ran a hand down his face, "is that okay with you?"  
  
He nodded enthusiastically; just happy to see she was all right.  
  
"Good then." She stood up and reached for his hand, "ready to go?"  
  
He was about to nod when suddenly he remembered his teacher. "OH!" he turned around and faced Mamoru, and held out his hands presenting him to his mother. "This is my Science teacher Mr. Chiba, he's really cool, he stayed with me while I waited for you."  
  
"Well then it's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Chi--" her breath caught as she recognized the name, and she slowly raised her head from her outstretched hand to meet his eyes.  
  
His eyes caught hers and the polite smile fell from his face, and he choked out a name, "Usa?"  
  
It was Keisuke's turn to be surprised as he heard his teacher say his mama's old name. However before he could comment, his mother's now icy hand tightened on his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry? What was that?" she said with a strange calmness that sent shivers down Keisuke's spine.  
  
Mamoru blinked and suddenly regained his composure as if snapping out of a trance, or just as easily into one. He coughed briefly before shaking his head and re-extending his hand. "Sorry Ma'am, you reminded me there for a second of someone I know."  
  
Usagi smiled politely, but Keisuke caught a sharp pain go through her eyes as Mr. Chiba took back what he had called her.  
  
"It's quite all right, I get that a lot. My name is Serena Tsukino, I'm Casey's mother." She said taking his hand and firmly shaking it.  
  
"I gathered as much." He joked, but something still didn't seem right.  
  
He could have sworn there for a second that she was his Usako! But he saw now that was impossible. Usako had blue eyes--- but so did this woman. Oh! But Usako had golden hair! Yes that was it, and this woman's hair was--- golden as well. He blinked. No, aside from that they looked nothing alike. Usako was nineteen, well, so was this woman, but lots of people were nineteen. He laughed at him self, growing more frustrated by the minute as he looked into this girl, Serena's, challenging eyes. Well ok, she LOOKS like Usa, but-she just isn't! The last name! He should know it! But he didn't! Something wasn't right.  
  
His brain fought with him furiously, much like an Autistic's world. Something wasn't connecting!  
  
"Is something wrong Mr. Chiba?" Usagi said, didn't ask, but said, as if she expected it.  
  
He shook his head once more, thinking fondly on a bottle of wine he had at home. He smiled politely once more, and grabbed his suitcase. "Well it was very nice meeting you Ms. Tsukino. Casey, I'll see you in school tomorrow."  
  
Usagi kept her grin plastered to her face until he was out of sight. Keisuke opened his mouth to ask just one of the million questions running through his head, but slammed it shut when he looked at his mother.  
  
The light in her eyes was gone as she starred at the space the man had just occupied, her mouth also slightly ajar, wanting to say words that wouldn't come.  
  
A sob cracked through her lips that made Keisuke jump. "Mama!" he gasped, hugging her leg.  
  
Her head flew to him, and then she did something he'd never seen her do. She fell to her knees before her baby boy and sobbed.  
  
"Oh Mama!" he cried as he hugged her tight. Her arms flew around him as she rocked him gently back and forth.  
  
"Casey, oh God my baby boy what have I done? It should have been him! That's the one don't you see? He should've been the one. GOD I wish it was him!" she bit out through her sobs.  
  
Poor little four-year-old Keisuke could do nothing but hug his mother's neck tightly. How little he knew. As smart as he was he realized then, just how little he knew. And as his mother sobbed in his arms the weight of all that she had sacrificed, all that she had held in, all that she sheltered him from, and just how much she truly loved him, all of it sunk in finally on his little not even half a decade old mind.  
  
It was too much for such a young boy to handle. So for the first time in his life, Keisuke: boy genius, acted his age; he cried. No words of wisdom found their way to his lips, nor any words of condolence. He simply fell onto his mother and he cried. And so they were, mother and son, crying together each for themselves and for each other, as both vowed the same thing, to always protect the other.  
  
Little did they know that the same vow had been made, in the same way weeks before, between two not-quite brother and sister, and little did they all know that it was at that moment He truly came into being. He had finally broken her and He was free, and He was looking to tear them all apart, once and for all.  
  
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THE END  
LOL j/k, AAA!! Jeez put the knife down it was a joke see? Hahahaha-ok next scene boys! Anytime now!  
  
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The car ride home was a silent one, both knew better than to say anything, or perhaps didn't know any better. But in any case Keisuke couldn't help but notice how his mother's eyes were lacking in light, nor could mother help but notice the intelligent wisdom in her son's eyes had also somewhat dimmed.  
  
Usagi glanced at the dashboard clock as they turned onto Hull Street, the road that would normally take them home. It read 5:50.  
  
"How about we go to Burger King for dinner tonight hmm?" she asked softly.  
  
"Sure!" Keisuke burst out happily with a momentary surge of excitement, before quickly remembering recent events and slumping back in his car seat. "If you want..."  
  
Usagi smiled wryly, "why not?" she sighed and turned right into the Burger King Parking lot.  
  
"I'll have a Whopper meal with cheese and a Sprite, and he'll have a cheese Burger Kids' meal with fruit punch." Usagi ordered as the blank teen cashier punched in something on the computer.  
  
"Do you, like, want fries with that?" she droned.  
  
"Yes... that's why I ordered the MEAL."  
  
"Oh." She said truly surprised.  
  
Usagi rolled her eyes as the girl rung up the price.  
  
"Ok, that's a Whopper meal with cheese and a sprite with a cheese burger kids meal, your total is $9.50."  
  
Usagi reached out to hand the lady a $10, when another paler hand offered the money first.  
  
The teen rolled her eyes up to the stranger's shaded ones. "Sir?"  
  
"I've got it covered," a voice said, and only one word ran through Usagi's mind to describe it: ice. She caught the sight of translucent hair out of the corner of her eye and she screamed.  
  
She knocked the money out of his hand and dug a shoulder into his stomach.  
  
She grabbed Keisuke and swung around to look into a pair of ice-brown eyes? That couldn't be right! She gasped as a young BROWN haired Burger King Employee lay groaning on the ground.  
  
"Jeez lady you dropped a ten back at the door and I just -OW! - Was trying to give it back to you." He squirmed as the recently arrived manager tried to tuck something under his head.  
  
She looked around to see the entire store's occupants staring at her in horror.  
  
"No..." she gasped. This wasn't right! It wasn't him who handed her the money it was--!  
  
"Ma'am?" she swung around to see her teen cashier holding out her tray. "Here's your food ma'am," she held out her other hand, "and," she swallowed, "10 cents is your change."  
  
Keisuke's maturity returned in an instant as his mother stood starring dumbly at the girl. "Here, I'll take it." He said softly.  
  
The girl handed him the tray after he tugged on his mother's shirt, "Come on Mama, you didn't mean it, lets go sit down."  
  
Usagi nodded stupidly and followed her son to a booth.  
  
She took a deep breath as she slid into the mini padded couch. A cool arm wrapped around her and a voice whispered in her ear, "You didn't think you could hide forever did you Usa?"  
  
She screamed again and pushed him out of the booth.  
  
"Mama!" Keisuke yelled worriedly as he rushed to her side. "Mama what's wrong? Why'd you scream again?"  
  
Usagi turned wild eyes to her son, and then to where she had pushed the man out of the booth onto the floor, but all that met her eye was bare brown tile.  
  
"But! I don't understand!" she turned back to a frightened Keisuke, "Didn't you see him baby?"  
  
Keisuke furrowed his brows, "See who mama?"  
  
She frowned and fell to her knees shaking him, "Your father!"  
  
*********************** 


	6. Chapter 5: Clearing Mist

I flipped a coin and decided I'd finish my story today...  
  
Hey ya'll, sorry for the randomness of that last chapter and if I lost some of you along the way, I promise more will become clear, (as I've just gotten glasses perhaps we'll not have so many typos ne?) but as I've said before, bear with me, I like obscurity ^_^ oh, wait this is me now --- @_@............... Well I think I'm funny and that's all that matters.  
  
One more thing! Some were wondering about my horrible description of Serena and Casey hugging, and the two not quite brother and sister. Heh, yeah that was me trying to be allusive but it didn't work. So rather than trying to explain it in the story line and botch it up worse, I was referring to Rei and Mamoru as the two. ^_^; Sorry for the confusion!  
  
FINALY!  
  
Disclaimer - Godzilla does not belong to me. :(  
  
***********************  
  
Love, Labors, Lost  
  
Chapter 5: Clearing Mist  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
***********************  
  
Once they arrived home, Usagi swooped up her son and deposited him carefully in very worried Kate's arms, before running wordless and teary eyed to her room.  
  
A perplexed Kate looked to Max for an answer but he only shook his head in wonder, just as lost as his wife. She turned to the shaking boy in her arms, stroking his face lightly.  
  
"What happened Casey-boy? What happened to your mother?"  
  
He sat silent in her arms for a moment, going over what had happened slowly in his mind before giving her a careful reply.  
  
"When she came to pick me up from school, I was with my new science teacher. I- I introduced them and she acted really weird. And when he left, she cried.  
  
"Then, we were in the car and she wanted to take me to Burger King for dinner, and she seemed to be cheering up, but then, this guy, he gave her some money she dropped and she punched him! He said it was ok, and that she was just startled, but then we sat down and she screamed, and asked me if I'd seen him."  
  
Kate looked at the boy horrified, "Who?"  
  
Keisuke evaded her eyes, but when he didn't answer right away Kate shook him lightly,  
  
"Who?! Who did she see?"  
  
He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "My papa!" He almost yelled.  
  
Kate raised a brown brow, her green eyes widening in fear. She knew nothing of young Casey's father. The only thing Serena had ever said about him was that he was, "a very bad man", and she was glad Casey would never have to know what a scoundrel he was as he had passed away before she found out she was pregnant.  
  
Kate snapped her head to the boy at the memory. "It can't be! You... Baby Doll your father is dead."  
  
Keisuke clutched Kate's shirt as he looked up to the stairwell that lead to his mother room. "Mama..." he cried worriedly.  
  
A crash was heard and Kate jumped, giving a small yelp of surprise. Max took her arm, and placing a coat around her shoulders, he quickly ushered them to the door.  
  
"What are you doing?" Kate demanded of her husband, but he only shook his head as he closed the door behind them.  
  
"She gave Case to you for a reason. She needs to be alone right now I think." He set Keisuke down and took Kate aside.  
  
"I just want you to know Kate, when we get back, I WILL be asking some questions." He clicked a button on his key set and unlocked the family Highlander. "It's high time we got some answers."  
  
***********************  
  
Usagi screamed as she threw her coat across the room. It landed only with a soft thud so, unsatisfied, she picked up a leftover coffee mug from that morning and lodged it with every once of strength she had. It landed with a smash. She kicked the wall, she tore at her hair, and still it wasn't enough.  
  
So she ripped out her wood dresser drawers one by one. They each landed with a crash, and it was a miracle they did not break. But Usagi would not have cared if they had; in fact it enraged her that they had not.  
  
"COME ON!" she screamed, "Everything else is BROKEN in my life! Why don't you just break too?!" she kicked one of the drawers on the floor, shoving it up against her four posted bed.  
  
She stopped dead upon realizing just how much this bed looked like her old one back in Japan, with its golden crescent moons and wise ruby suns. The mahogany bed polls gliding down like a staircase was the only difference. She kicked it too.  
  
Not picking up anything more for her to throw Usagi screamed again until her voice cracked and she slumped down on the edge of her bed, spent.  
  
Looking down she spotted an upside down frame lying on the floor. She raised her foot to smash it, but reconsidered, and picked it up instead. She stared blankly at it for a few seconds, trying desperately to recognize the happy go lucky girl the picture portrayed, side by side with a mischievous looking young man.  
  
The girl was wearing what seemed to be a sailor uniform, with a long blue pleated skirt, and a loose white top with blue trim, a red bow hiding her chest from view. She was facing the young man; a beam gracing her innocent features, and one hand was resting on a pink broche, nested in the middle of the red bow. Her glowing sun-kissed blonde hair was done up in two perky balls atop her head. Long silky ropes of hair hung down below them, and were slightly adrift by a wind that must have swept across her at the time of the photographing.  
  
The boy was adorning a loose, white, button up top with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A wild black mop of hair was hanging into his striking azure eyes, above one a dark brow was raised suggestively. The hand closest to the viewer was wrapped lightly around his companion's thin waist, and the other, hidden from view, was strung through the belt loop in his faded blue jeans.  
  
It took the girl, Usagi, so different from the carefree one in the picture, quite sometime to realize that she was once that girl, and the gorgeous young male was also once hers as well.  
  
How that boy had changed, only eighteen at the time of the photographing, he was now a man of twenty-three, making his living and carrying on with life. He had forgotten all about her.  
  
She scolded herself. She knew for a fact that was far from the truth, and she knew perfectly well what bound him from seeing that the person who had stood in front of him not even five hours ago was, in fact, his long lost love.  
  
She set the picture down and snorted at the laptop that lay next to it.  
  
She opened it to find her last document, fresh from just that morning, still haunting her desktop.  
  
She gave a bitter smile as she pressed the 'enter' key and began to type.  
  
***********************  
  
You want to know the truth? I'll give it to you, you God dammed son of a bitch, I know you'll haunt me till I do.  
  
Endymion took us to the Crystal Palace. He explained to us our past, our present and then finally our future.  
  
Apparently the Black Moon family was one that rejected the purifications of my Imperial Silver Crystal after I allegedly came to the thrown and awoke the people of Earth from a deep sleep that had been cast upon them sometime in the twenty-first century.  
  
The family had mutated somehow, and had become overwhelmingly powerful. They were filled with negative energy and, of course, like all the other negative energy crap we've fought, they were power hungry as well.  
  
But there's a catch, a story they won't tell in the moon records, or even earthen ones.  
  
First I'll say what they do tell you.  
  
Neo Queen Serenity, my future self, if you can believe a pathetic loser like me could ever have earned that title, in any timeline, ran outside the safety of the Royal Palace to find her missing daughter.  
  
Apparently her eyes clashed menacingly with a pair of ice ones, belonging to none other than the Black Moon prince himself. She was hit dead on with an energy blast from him and was imprisoned in a crystal encasing by her loyal Sailor Senshi in a fierce attempt to save her life.  
  
Here's what they don't tell you.  
  
Prince Demando, as he was called, had an infatuation with the Queen. He hated her and loved her all at once. He was a torn man, or at least that is what he told me.  
  
He wanted her, no! NEEDED her, and this was impossible as long as she sleep in that glass prison.  
  
What's a man to do? Well, conveniently for him, he found me in the 20th century. According to him, what age I was didn't matter. I was Serenity. End of topic.  
  
That's how he chose me. That's why I live in hell.  
  
***********************  
  
"Do you really think writing what you already know will help you any?" A cool voice whispered inside her head. Usagi jumped.  
  
"Where are you? Show yourself you- you coward!" she commanded.  
  
His laughter boomed, making Usagi grab her head. "*I* am a coward Usa?" he laughed again. "I was dead. Don't you remember? I died for you!"  
  
Usagi jumped up from her chair, fists clenched. "I said SHOW YOURSELF!"  
  
"As you wish Princess." He sneered and suddenly the voice was no longer in her head but very real and very present.  
  
She felt an ice-cold breath on her neck, and she whirled around, ready to fight, to face her fears. But fate had other plans.  
  
She turned around and there he was, the man that tormented her nightmares, and now even her days as well. She opened her mouth to scream, tried to move her legs to fight, but she was frozen.  
  
He was *here*. Demando, here. The thought hit her with a crash, and made her stumble backwards a little, as if she had been physically hit.  
  
He stared at her; his blue-tinted lips curved in a smile that didn't reach quite reach his frigid eyes.  
  
"This is what you wanted isn't it Usako?" he queried, taking a step towards her.  
  
"You- you can't call me that." She bit; wanting to sound commanding but it came out only as a weak sob.  
  
"Oh can't I?" he asked her playfully.  
  
"How are you--?" Usagi barely choked, grasping one of her bed polls.  
  
"Alive?" The man, Demando, snickered. "Does it matter?" he said, raising his white-gloved hands in the air before clasping them behind his back.  
  
"I'm here aren't I? I can finally claim what's MINE." He took a challenging step towards her and laughed heartily when she stumbled backwards, grabbing the bed pole with both hands now to keep her balance.  
  
"MAX!" Usagi yelled for her fosterer, but to no avail as her voice cracked halfway through his name.  
  
"You still don't get it, DO you Usa?" Demando mused, whirling around so that his back was facing her.  
  
"You," she bit through stinging tears, "are DEAD!" Usagi screamed, barely rasping out her words coherently.  
  
Demando swirled back around to face her, his poor frightened rabbit. He frowned, all those years of HIM, he thought bitterly. He lifted his index finger to his lips thoughtfully. "WAS dead, Love."  
  
"How DARE you!" she screamed again, both arms griping the pole as if it were her only lifeline.  
  
"You cut your hair." He realized suddenly, speaking as an old friend would. He measured it up with his hands calmly.  
  
"And you changed the style of it." Usagi was fully sobbing now and she sank to the floor as he continued to taunt her.  
  
"It used to be in to odangos no? And I am almost certain it came down past your knees. Now it's barely past your shoulders!" he shook his finger at her teasingly, "And do you really need those glasses?"  
  
Demando knelt down to her level and removed them. For Usagi's part all she could do was cry, paralyzed with fear, she made so move to stop him.  
  
"They hide your beautiful baby blues!" he whispered softly, trying to sound gentle, but that edge of mockery still lined his voice.  
  
"Why are you here?" she croaked, defeated. When he only starred at her, the same cold smile lining his features, she screamed, bouncing forcefully on every word, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"  
  
"WHAT?" he held out his arms defensively. "Can't an old friend visit another old friend?"  
  
"You are NOT--" she started but he cut her off.  
  
"Oh I should have known you wouldn't buy into that. You're too smart for me Usako. But Baby." he lifted her chin with two fingers so that her eyes met his. He ignored the blatant fear he saw and continued. You KNOW what I want! I want the same thing I've always wanted."  
  
Usagi's eyes widened and she screamed one last ear-piercing scream and Demando laughed, as she fell unconscious to the ground, all after he whispered one deadly word into her ear.  
  
"You."  
  
***************************  
  
She awoke an hour later to find him sitting in her computer chair looking over her story. At the sight of him she let out a small whimper hunching, defeated, into a corner of her room.  
  
At the movement, Demando turned his head calmly towards her, "Welcome back," he said smiling slightly, only it seemed to her now that that same cold smile never left his lips.  
  
Usagi hugged her legs closer to her chest.  
  
He waved a hand casually to her lap top monitor, "This is rather... Pointless? Don't you think?" He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of his nose, as a student who had been up all night studying would.  
  
Usagi didn't speak, she only stared, the light in her eyes, that spark, the flare she had for life, gone.  
  
"I mean I'm sure you thought it would help you," he continued. "With what exactly I'm not sure." Then a thought crossed Demando's eyes as they light up, "What did happen anyway? Your story says you left. You left your friends? Your family? Tokyo? With my son..."  
  
Usagi jumped to her feet, screaming in Japanese, "You're no father of his! And if you lay one slimy hand on him by God Demando I'll-"  
  
"Oh he's mine all right. I can tell by looking at him. He has my brilliance, my charm..." he interrupted, smirking.  
  
"He's NOTHING like you." Usagi rudely bit through clenched teeth.  
  
Demando waved his hand nonchalantly, propping his feet up on an over thrown dresser drawer. "Whatever. Think what you like. Who else would his father be, that pathetic excuse for a King?" He sneered, knowing he was reaching her limit. Right where he needed to be.  
  
Usagi sobered up then, his last comment had been a little overdone she realized. She took a deep breath to clear her mind, and closed her eyes, clenching her fist. "Come on Tsukino, if you can survive all the looks you get, and all the comments from those jerks at school, you can live through this." She thought, however she knew that this was different. Way different. This was not just some immature high school boy. This was a man. A man who knew exactly what he was dong. A man who had-  
  
Before she could disprove her own thoughts any further and dissipate her courage entirely, she looked up at him, and spoke, keeping her voice as steady as possible.  
  
"At least my Mamo-Chan had honor. At least he was a real man."  
  
Demando's eyes widened as he looked down at his hands and realized he had started to fade. "Shit." He muttered. He glanced up from his flickering hands to Usagi's piercing blues, set for this moment at least, with determination and strength.  
  
"Of all the-" he sputtered, but was quickly becoming too enraged to speak so instead, he flew at her. But just as she let out a shriek and braced herself for impact, his already fading form disappeared entirely. Only his menacing voice filled the room as he laughed his last echoing words.  
  
"You'll be mine yet Serenity! Just you wait! You'll be mine!"  
  
***********************  
  
"So did you like the movie Casey?" Usagi jumped to her feet as she heard Max's deep voice rumble outside the door and his keys jingle as they turned the lock.  
  
"YEAH! I ESPECIALLY liked the part where the Godzilla was like "RARR"--" Keisuke stopped his re-enactment of the famous sea monster hen he caught sight of his mother, trembling in the dining room; her hand resting on the table for support.  
  
"B-baby?" she whispered, speaking as if any louder tone would cause him to be gone from her sight again.  
  
"Mama!" he called happily, jumping out of Kate's arms and running over to his mother.  
  
Usagi fell to her knees and embraced her son tightly, holding onto him for dear life.  
  
After her ordeal with Demando she had come downstairs to talk to Keisuke and explain as best she could her actions earlier that day. However when upon looking she discovered him to not be anywhere in the house, she began to panic. She ran outside and searched there only to find the Anderson's Highlander was also missing. She then retreated inside and slumped down at their dinning room table, doing the only thing she could do, wait.  
  
She lifted her hand to wipe the tears from her eyes when they clashed with Max's, and narrowed. She smoothed down Keisuke's hair and kissed his forehead lovingly, never taking her eyes off her male fosterer's.  
  
Max hung up his coat on the rack behind him breaking their unspoken staring contest. A shiver went down Keisuke's back as he felt the icy atmosphere start to settle around his mother and older caretakers.  
  
Usagi swallowed and stood up straight, placing one soft hand on her son's shoulder.  
  
"Baby go to your room," she commanded softly, "The grown-ups have some things they need to discuss." She said, finishing coldly.  
  
Keisuke bit his lip, "Mama..." he protested but was cut off by Max.  
  
"Do as your mother says Casey."  
  
Outnumbered now he gave one last look to his mother before retreating cautiously up the stairs to his room.  
  
Once she was sure he was fully out of earshot Usagi turned on the couple before her, enraged.  
  
"How DARE you take MY son out of this house without my knowing it! How am I supposed to trust you? If he had been hurt, or lost, or if you had gotten into a car crash or some other dreadful thing how would I have known huh? TELL ME HOW I WOULD HAVE KNOWN!"  
  
Usagi realized that she shouldn't be as angry with them as she was. Under these same circumstances what she thought of as a normal mother, that is one who hadn't gotten pregnant out of wedlock and was old enough to handle it, would probably not be as upset, but she, Usagi, was not a normal mother, nor did she have a normal life. And thus was her rationalization.  
  
Max growled at her and only shrugged off the calming hand Kate had placed on his arm. He strode over to Usagi, and towered over her small form, dwarfing her significantly. He pushed her firmly back into the chair she had raised from minutes before. She looked up frantically into his eyes; the anger fueling her was gone and was now replaced by fear.  
  
"You listen here Serena Tsukino, sorry if that's not your "old name" but it's the only one I know." Usagi tried to protest but he continued on.  
  
"YOU handed Casey to US and flew up the stairs. Now I know that I am no longer your legal guardian, but you, YOU have entrusted yourself and your son into my wife's and my care.  
  
"That MEANS that if ever I judge you are not in a fit state to care for your son, OR if I determine that Casey's well being is at stake, it is my DUTY to do what I think best for the both of you. And today I thought it best not to disturb you in your temper tantrums, but I ALSO thought it best that Casey should not have to hear his mother in such a frantic state."  
  
Usagi's rage was set off again as she screamed, much like a child, at whom at the moment she thought to be her opponent.  
  
"How DARE you say those things! You have NO idea what I've been through!"  
  
"That's RIGHT!" Max almost sobbed as he fell to his knees. Usagi gasped as he grabbed her hands.  
  
"That's right Serena, we have no idea whatsoever what you've been through. Do you know why? Because in all the years we've been with you, you've never given us any information, save the bare minimum, about your life up to when we met you, and even afterwards."  
  
Usagi's eyes widened at his now gentle tone, as the Max she knew returned.  
  
She laughed inwardly at her own words. Of course they knew nothing. She'd never even thrown them a line to nibble on. Why? She knew why. She swore to herself long ago she'd never trust someone that much again. Trust got you hurt, and the last thing she needed was to be hurt again.  
  
But just as the doors of her heart were about to close once more, a hand slipped in the crack and held it in place. Max squeezed her hands lightly and brought her attention back to him.  
  
"We want to know." The door was opened an inch, and Usagi's eyes widened again at his words.  
  
"Know? Wha- what's to know?" Usagi whispered.  
  
"We want to be able to help you Serena, and I know that for my part, I- I die a little inside every time you shut yourself in from us." She turned around as she heard Kate's kind voice behind her, and felt her warm hand rested on her back.  
  
Her eyes flew back to Max's as water threatened to fall from them. "Max?"  
  
Max nodded in agreement. "Despite all the things you hide from us Serena, we-," he swallowed not used to saying the words that came next. "We love you, Serena."  
  
The doors were flung wide open as Usagi, for the first time in all the years she had known them, broke down and cried in front of the Andersons. She threw herself into Max's awaiting arms and cried as if she had never cried before.  
  
Kate's eyes too, filled with tears as she knelt down and joined, her husband and Serena, no, her family, on the floor, embracing them both tightly.  
  
She hoped beyond hope that now she would finally able to help the precious girl in her arms. Not like she had helped her in the past with just a place to stay and some food. No, like how she wanted to help her three years ago when she first saw her in that shelter back in New York.  
  
When she saw her sitting huddled in the corner feeding her one-year-old baby boy the only way she could, Serena's pain became hers. She had clutched her husband's shirt, because in this then fifteen-year-old girl's eyes she saw the whole world. She saw the fear of the thought of what she would do when her baby became too old for her ilk. She saw the sadness of loosing a family, a future, a life. She had lost all of it, before she had even been able to begin it. What she saw was maturity where there should be naiveté, knowledge in the place of innocence, and emptiness where there was life.  
  
But the thing that told Kate that this girl was not beyond all hope was the love she saw for the tiny life in her arms. As much pain as his birth had given her, Kate saw it in the girl's eyes that she blamed none of her misfortune on her son. In her gaze at him, Kate saw only undying love.  
  
Serena and Casey knew that they had met in a baby store next to the shelter. They knew that the couple was there on a tour of the city, but Kate knew that that was a line of shit.  
  
Kate and Max were there for her. If not her exactly, they were there to foster someone in need of them. But at that first sight, Kate knew exactly why she was there. She knew that this girl and her son were the reason why God lead her to the path she was on.  
  
Kate sat up and wiped her eyes, and looked into Usagi's and for the first time since that day at the shelter she could see clear into her soul. Her walls were down, and Kate knew that now, finally, she'd be able to help. She'd be able to help heal her heart.  
  
"Will you tell us then Serena? Tell us what makes you cry yourself to sleep every night?" Max asked tenderly, wiping away the tears from her eyes with his thumbs.  
  
Usagi nodded and smiled. Her heart felt light; she was finally going to tell! She was going to share her pain and it was going to be all right.  
  
***********************  
  
"I was fourteen." Usagi said after taking a sip of water. She, Kate and Max were sitting at their circular dinner table in the dinning room.  
  
She swallowed hesitantly, unsure about how to continue. Where does one start with such a story? She started to feel guilty once again as she realized that even this story couldn't be the complete truth. She couldn't tell them she was Sailor Moon, they would think she was crazy. In America the story of Sailor Moon was a myth, and was actually turned into a TV show. She almost fainted the first time she saw an advertisement for it on TV.  
  
NO! Usagi screamed at herself, regaining her resolve. She could tell them the basics and leave out the magic involved. She'd kept this in for far too long and if she had to a minute longer she was afraid she'd die of the burden.  
  
"I was fourteen," she began again. "I had a wonderful life, a boyfriend, five best friends, un-divorced parents, even a snotty little brother. I loved them all so, SO much. But-"  
  
She tore the corners off her napkin and gritted her teeth.  
  
"Do you need--?" Kate tried to ask, placing a hand on Usagi's.  
  
"No! No, I'm fine..." she hesitated slightly, God it really was an impossible story to start!  
  
"First I should probably tell you two that I wasn't born in New York. Or even America." She looked back to her torn napkin to avert her eyes from their shocked ones.  
  
"I was born in Japan actually. Born and raised, well until I was fourteen anyway. My real name... Shit!" She cried. "I'm sorry this is so drawn out."  
  
"Don't apologize, it's OK, take as much time as you need." Max interjected reassuringly. "You're real name?" he started again for her.  
  
"Right." She smiled. "My real name is Usagi Tsukino, and Casey's is really Keisuke. But I'd prefer that you'd not say anything. Serena and Casey are fine, just think of them as nicknames, please?" she blurted out in a hurry.  
  
"Sure, whatever you want." Kate smiled warmly at her.  
  
"Thanks." Usagi sniffed, feeling better every minute. She needed more though; it wasn't enough to just stop there. So in the next few minutes Usagi found herself pouring it all out, every ounce of her soul for the first time since it happened. It: her life, everything. She wanted it gone.  
  
"I knew him, Keisuke's father. He was... an enemy of mine actually. But he wasn't quite, quite right in the head. I reminded him of someone, someone he thought he loved. So he-- Well... he..." She started to stutter again. HOW did one DO these things? Should she just blurt it out? Should she beat around the bush? Should she--? But her thoughts were interrupted by Kate's soft gasp.  
  
"He... Oh Serena, he didn't! Tell me he didn't!" Kate blurted out suddenly gripping Usagi's hands.  
  
Max's brows furrowed as his gaze heated on the two women. "Didn't what?"  
  
Usagi swallowed hard. Here goes. "Rape me. She wants to know if he... if he raped me." She turned away as the shame burned in her heart. "I- well I guess some people would call it that but, it couldn't have been. I mean... I guess. That is..." Usagi furrowed her own brows in confusion. Was that what it was? Rape? She'd never thought about it that way except once when that girl, Jenn, from her school, when she told her of her experience she found herself thinking of it as rape. But she'd never actually thought about what to call it exactly.  
  
Kate rubbed her arm, gently rubbing the fabric of Usagi's pink cardigan sweater against her skin. "Sweetheart were you willing?" She asked softly, the thought suddenly hitting her that Usagi might not realize fully what had happened to her. If it was rape, there was a very good chance that Usagi might not even be aware that the fault didn't lie with her.  
  
Usagi looked down. "Well, no. Not really. But it was my fault Kate! I mean at least part of it lies with me! It takes two to tango doesn't it?" She really wasn't sure anymore. Was what Demando told her when she awoke that dreadful day the truth?  
  
Kate's features softened in pure anguish for this girl. "No honey. If you didn't want it, and he made you do it anyway, then that is in NO way your fault."  
  
"But," Usagi protested, "but I didn't do anything to stop him! He took me totally by surprise, and after that surge from the Dark-" She struggled to find a word to replace 'Dark Crystal', "Wine. He gave me some dark wine, that's the last thing I remember all that clearly." It wasn't a total lie. When explaining to her the effects of the power surge he had given her from the Dark Crystal, Demando said that it was much like the buzz people get once they have consumed quite a bit of wine.  
  
She had always partly blamed herself for what had happened with Demando. She thought that because she didn't make an effort to fight him off, she had betrayed her Mamo-Chan somehow. But as she spoke he actual account aloud for the first time, what she'd been trying to accomplish all along with her writing slowly started to unravel here. She was searching for some sort of understanding, a resolution to her toil, a reason why things were the way they were.  
  
"Serena, you mean he gave you wine, and then you two...?" Max asked, trying to fit the pieces of a puzzle he'd been trying to solve for so long together.  
  
"He, he threw me on the bed, and told me that he loved me, and that he was way better than Mamoru would ever be for me. I didn't understand what he was doing at first until I was naked and--" She stopped, choking on a sob.  
  
Max just sat there, eyes ablaze with rage, while Kate threw down her chair and embraced Usagi tightly, rocking her gently, trying with all her might to ease the young girl's pain.  
  
"I didn't know what to do!" Usagi sobbed in her own defense, even though she didn't know whom she was defending herself to. "I said stop but he just wouldn't listen! I didn't want to betray Mamo-Chan but I had no choice! I couldn't get away!"  
  
Usagi cried into Kate's shoulder as she rocked her back and forth for a while, before suddenly pulling her at arms length.  
  
"Now you look here," Kate said, tears lining her own eyes as tried to wipe away Usagi's. "NONE of that was your fault do you hear me? NONE of it! I don't care if you were as sober as a priest, what he did to you was NOT YOUR FAULT. Do you understand me?" Kate shook her a little to get her point across as Usagi nodded meekly.  
  
"I want to hear you say it." Kate ordered.  
  
Usagi swallowed, but even though she was crying and on her knees, she felt as thought she could fly.  
  
"It wasn't my fault."  
  
She said it soft at first, just barely above a whisper. But it felt good and she smiled as she said it again, louder this time.  
  
"It wasn't my FAULT."  
  
"That's it sweetheart it wasn't your fault." Kate coaxed on further, laughing and crying with joy at Usagi's release.  
  
It was OK. Usagi knew it was OK. Whatever might come after this, whatever Demando wanted to do to her, it was going to be OK. Because for the first time in five years, she couldn't feel him hovering over her heart, because she now knew,  
  
"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"  
  
***********************  
  
A couple neighborhoods away a phone was ringing off its hook. A handsome young man dashed, dripping wet, out of the shower. He caught the phone in the nick of time, wrapping a white towel loosely around his waist.  
  
"Hello? Oh! Moshi moshi Kaze sensei." His deep voice switched quickly to his native tongue of Japanese. "Hai Sensei, I just picked out the student today... His name? Casey Tsukino... uh huh, he's of Japanese decent but that's not why I picked him sir, don't worry... Top of the class sir... Yes sir, thank you for your call... Hai, I'll call you as soon as I get permission from his parents, well, mother... You bet... Oh sorry sir it's an American phrase...Hai talk to you then... Sayonara."  
  
Mamoru Chiba hung up the phone with a sigh, but couldn't help smiling at the thought of his student, Casey Tsukino. His grin broadened when he thought of his mother, Serena. She looked so much like Usagi, even if they were plainly different... somehow... But he knew this was the start of something new, something good.  
  
He kept smiling as he made his way to pick up the bathroom. Oh yes, this was something very good indeed.  
  
***********************  
  
Phew! Well that's all for now folks! Next part will be out anywhere from next week, to the 6th (of January) to a month. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please review!!!! Oh! And whish me luck on getting my Driver's Permit! (UG! FAILED it the first time, BUT NOT AGAIN!)  
  
LOVE YOU ALL AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS! 


	7. Chapter 6: Breaking Day

Hello all I hope everyone had a good Holiday break! I just want to thank everyone who's reviewed me SOOOOO MUCH. You guys are the reason I keep writing. I mean this story IS written for your enjoyment... and perhaps for a little bit of ego inflation on my part. 0:) j/k, Anyway enjoy the story and tell me whatcha think!  
  
Oh yeah BTW, I GOT MY LEARNER'S PERMIT! *Dances*....... Ok go read.  
  
***************  
  
Love, Labors, Lost  
  
Chapter 6: Breaking Day  
  
Rated PG-13  
  
***************  
  
Usagi hummed to herself as she scrubbed off the dishes they had used for dinner that night. It had been almost a week since she told Kate and Max the truth about Keisuke's father, and she hadn't had another encounter with Demando since.  
  
She frowned slightly at a new realization as she worked to wash off a particularly sticky spot on one of the pans. She hadn't told them the whole truth, but in time she might be able to tell the rest. As for now she felt as if she was an entirely different person. Or was she that different? Actually she was feeling quite similar to her old self.  
  
Hope began to shine in her heart. Maybe now she could finally put down her defenses and sorrows and just be plain old Usagi again.  
  
"Mama! Someone's at the door!"  
  
Usagi smiled wisely as her son's voice snapped her back to reality. She could never return fully to her old self, even if she wanted to, and if that meant trading in her son, forget it. She wouldn't trade him even if someone told her that she would never had to have been... raped.  
  
She rolled the word around in her mouth. It still felt strange, saying it in reference to herself. And yet... It was, liberating somehow. Well, all the things it implied.  
  
It wasn't her fault.  
  
She wouldn't have to feel guilty when her peers scorned her.  
  
And above all, She didn't betray...  
  
"MAMA!" Usagi felt a tug on her shirt and when she looked down she saw a very impatient Keisuke looking back up at her, his hands on his hips.  
  
She splashed a bit of water at him and laughed heartily at his shock before drying off her hands and picking him up. She swung him around in her arms and he giggled at her antics before resting his head on her shoulder. He clung to her and hugged her neck as she went to answer the door.  
  
"I'm glad you're not sad anymore Mama." He whispered in her ear.  
  
Usagi frowned at that. Yes, as was she, quite glad in fact. Come to think of it she had been acting too much like her old self recently, the negative aspects especially. The whining, the selfishness, the crying... She was supposed to be the adult, and here was her poor son telling her he was glad SHE wasn't sad anymore.  
  
"Don't worry Baby, a lot of things are gonna change around here, starting with me not being sad."  
  
Keisuke kissed her check lovingly as she set him down, and opened the door.  
  
"Hello may I... help... you...?" Her words faded and blue crashed with blue as she found herself staring into the eyes of none other than the infamous Mamoru Chiba.  
  
He smiled pleasantly. Usagi's knees went weak. "Hello Ms. Tsukino, nice to see you again."  
  
She froze momentarily. Why was he speaking so formally? Shouldn't she be throwing herself in his arms? Her brain took a minute but it quickly remembered that he was now her son's Science teacher. She'd forgotten about that completely, but more importantly, he wasn't here for her. He couldn't even recognize her.  
  
'That's your own fault!' She chided herself silently, but in a second she was back, pasting on a huge grin and stuck out her hand politely to greet him.  
  
"Ah yes, Mr. Chiba, nice to see you again as well," what an understatement! But she continued on, forcing normality on herself. For the sake of whom she was unsure, only that it needed to be done. "Won't you come in?"  
  
His smile broadened as he stepped over the threshold and Usagi closed the door behind him.  
  
Usagi's head snapped suddenly from her son to his teacher, wondering suddenly why one of Keisuke's teachers would visit them. "He's not in any trouble is he?" she said doubtful, but could see no other reason why, her Mamo-Chan of all his teachers, could be there.  
  
"Huh? OH! No, no, no, nothing like that. Casey is actually my best student," he smiled fondly at the boy before looking to his beautiful mother, "That's the reason I'm here."  
  
***************  
  
"Tea, hot chocolate, or coffee?" Usagi called from the kitchen. "Eh, but I only have rich hot cocoa." She popped her head into the living room apologetically.  
  
Mamoru's brows raised, "Well it just so happens that's my favorite."  
  
"Cocoa it is then! And you Casey? You want cocoa as well I presume."  
  
"Of course!" he chirped.  
  
Usagi paddled back into the kitchen grinning to herself. 'He still likes cocoa...' she thought gaily remembering back to their days with Chibi-Usa. Whenever things started to get edgy between the two odango headed princesses, Mamoru would always retreat slowly and carefully into the kitchen to, "make us all a nice hot cup of cocoa."  
  
After she set the three drinks in motion, her own order included Usagi leaned herself against the living room wall adjacent to the one in the kitchen. "So, explain this to me again Mr. Chiba. You want Case to be your guinea pig?" she asked, smiling to soften the remark.  
  
He chuckled lightly, "No, not exactly. My Thesis. It wouldn't just benefit me however. If my Thesis is correct, then this could help people understand your son and the way he thinks ten times better. It would open countless doors for him and," he looked over to Keisuke and winked making him giggle, "it would be loads of fun."  
  
Keisuke jumped to his feet and ran to hug his mother's leg. "Oh please Mama! It would be SO COOL."  
  
She bent down to his level so that her eyes were level with his shinning ones. "You wanna do this Baby?"  
  
He nodded his head enthusiastically and Usagi sighed, standing up once more. She rubbed her temples, could she stand it? Could she be around him that much without falling for him all over again?  
  
She smiled at that. All over again? She had fallen long ago and knew as long as she lived she'd never get up. But to be around him again? Yes, it would be heaven, but when his Thesis was completed he would leave, and her already broken heart would be torn to shreds.  
  
But as she shifted nervously she glanced down and saw her son's pleading eyes staring back at her. Usagi smiled. She could deny him nothing, and she knew it. Whatever pain this brought, she would endure, if only for him.  
  
She glanced up at the love of her life. His emotions were hidden, he was very good at that, but her eyes didn't fail to miss the fingers he had discreetly crossed. He wanted this as well, and who was she to cause him any more trouble? He was so close... It would be so easy to just run into his arms and have him hold her close to him.  
  
Usagi looked away quickly. No, it could never be. Even though what happened was not her fault. Even if he underSTOOD that is was not her fault, which she knew he would, the decisions she had made since then were unforgivable. She had LEFT him, truly left him. What right did she have to just waltz back into his life and expect him to love her again? Even if they were together she doubted whether or not he would truly be able to deal with the identity of her son's father.  
  
But none of that mattered. This would not be drawn out as Mamoru was a genius and she had no doubt he would not only prove his thesis, but he'd do it in record time. He would get his graduate degree, fulfill his dream of being a doctor, and countless doors for her son would open.  
  
What of herself? She would be fine. Not great, but fine. Seeing the two men she loved more than anything in the world succeed and become successful would be, in itself, a much-needed joy to her heart. As long as Mamoru didn't recognize her everything would work out just fine, and she'd already seen to that not ever happening.  
  
She smiled wryly. How ironic, that after years of wanting him, he was finally by her side, a mere stride away, and it was she who was stopping them from being together again. His mind and eyes were blind to any connection between her current self and the Usagi he knew. Resembling the magic that kept Usagi and Sailor Moon separate in people's minds, the spell prevented him from putting two and two together to make the connection between the identical last names. Yes, the Silver Crystal's magic worked well and was not easily undone.  
  
However the same was true of Mamoru's power over her, and Usagi prayed to God that He help her make it so that she would not be the one to undo her own work.  
  
Usagi looked dramatically from Mamoru to his pupil, straining the moment of suspense that rested in her hands.  
  
She took a deep breath and both man and boy breathed with her as she at last spoke, her lips curving into a smile, "Well when have I ever been able to deny my baby boy anything?"  
  
He squealed as Usagi's laugh tinkled throughout the room and Mamoru's mouth burst into a huge grin as he rushed up to her and took her small hand, engulfing it in both of his large ones.  
  
"THANK you Ms. Tsukino, THANK you SO MUCH, you have no idea what this means to me." He even bowed slightly out of habit, unable to contain his excitement, surprising even himself. He was never this enthusiastic about anything, and he tried unsuccessfully to shoo away the voice in his head whispering that part of his excitement was at the prospect of spending time with her.  
  
They all jumped as an ear-piercing whistle ripped throughout the room as the water Usagi had put on the stove began to boil.  
  
She regretfully pulled out of Mamoru's grasp and went to tend to the pot. She returned quickly to the living room handing the boys their drinks.  
  
Taking a seat next to her son on the couch, she watched as Mamoru opened his briefcase, taking out his previous research, and proceeded in explaining to the small family what his tests and studies on Casey would entail.  
  
Taking a sip of her cocoa, Usagi blanched slightly as she glanced over all the work.  
  
Sensing her uneasy state, Mamoru raised his brows in question, "Is there a problem Ms. Tsukino? If there is..." he trailed off indicating his willingness to accommodate to their needs.  
  
"Well, I'm no collage attendee," she swallowed hard, wishing the moment it was out of her mouth that she had not said it, and glanced over to him, dreading the look of surprise or disappointment she regularly received, but found herself staring only at a his attentive expression.  
  
He smiled reassuringly at her pause, "Well of course not, you've not quite finished High School yet." Misinterpreting her shocked look, it was his turn to sweat as he added hurriedly, "Or so I've heard."  
  
Usagi smiled warmly at him. God she missed that man. Reassured, she continued on expressing the more present worry at hand. "I'm not familiar with this level of work, but won't," she paused, already knowing the answer, "won't this take a long time?"  
  
Mamoru nodded respectfully, "The tests have all been designed by me, and are made to, altogether, take two months, if everything goes as I've planned. Of course nothing goes as planned," he smiled sadly, not unnoticed by Usagi, at how his comment pertained to so much more than his work. "So at MOST I'd say three months. Please, if you have a problem with the time frame, tell me now before it's started."  
  
'Three months?! How can I be around him for three months?' Usagi's mind screamed at her, but she wiped the worry away with a nod of her head to Mamoru. She would do it for Keisuke, but secretly, her heart sung at the thought of being around him again for even a minute.  
  
Usagi nodded again as she read over the legal documents Mamoru handed her, and signed her name at the bottom. She rubbed her son's back lovingly as he did the same.  
  
"I have one preference," she swallowed and fidgeted with her oversized lounging shirt. "I really don't like Casey being away from home late. Is it possible that you perhaps do this," she swallowed again, knowing the only place they could work would be, "here?"  
  
He grinned at the thought, an action he would ponder over later. "Of course Ms. Tsukino, your concern is reasonable. Again I am VERY grateful to you and your son for this."  
  
"No it is I who should be thanking you," she replied humbly in keeping with her native Japanese custom.  
  
She could do this. It wouldn't be that hard.  
  
That's what Usagi told herself to calm her jumping heart as she lead Mamoru to the door and shook his hand.  
  
How hard could three short months around him be anyway?  
  
***************  
  
Usagi sighed as she set down her keys on the living room mantle and turned to hang up her coat. After a long day of school and work, she could really do with a long, hot shower.  
  
She picked up a small, rounded, jeweled object from her purse, which looked to be a compact. However when she opened it, a crystalline gem was revealed to be inside.  
  
She ran her fingers absentmindedly over the precious stone. Forged on the Alter of Selene, neighboring the rushing currents of Mare Serenitis, the Imperium Silver Crystal was worth more than all the gold and money from multiple worlds. People had fought and died in many wars over this relatively small stone Usagi now held in the palm of her hand.  
  
Luckily, she had it with her to give her strength on that first day of school, and its magic still masked her true features to all who had known her before she fled her old life when she went to pick up her son. Had she not had it on her then, Mamoru would have recognized her in an instant.  
  
She glanced at the clock, speaking of her old prince, he would be arriving shortly, leaving her only an hour to shower before she would have to absorb the crystal's magic once more. Sighing she slipped it into her pocket and turned to make her way upstairs.  
  
However she would not get that far as a pair of strong hands came out of no where and gripped her arms from the side, turning her roughly to face their owner.  
  
She opened her mouth to scream but closed it promptly in shock. The pair of eyes she stared into bore no resemblance to the icy blues she expected to see.  
  
It was him.  
  
"Mamo-Chan..." she gasped.  
  
"Usako. I've finally found you!" Mamoru cried as he pulled her curved, shaking body close to his strong, muscled one.  
  
"How?" she gasped, she should be more worried than this! He knew who she was! But all she felt was calm and relief in his welcoming arms. She smiled. "When did you figure it out?"  
  
He chuckled and traced her face loving, "I knew all along."  
  
Their breathing became heavy as their faces began to inch closer together.  
  
"Mamo-Chan..." she sighed happily.  
  
"Wake UP Usagi." He said coldly.  
  
At the cruel statement she halted the oncoming kiss abruptly, pushing him at arm's length from her. "What did you say?"  
  
"I said wake up Usagi!" His laughter echoed throughout the room as he began to slowly disappear from her sight.  
  
Usagi shook her head violently and reached desperately out for him.  
  
"MAMO-CHAN!" she screamed in panic.  
  
All went black. She was tumbling, falling into nothingness...  
  
"SERENA!"  
  
Usagi shot up in bed, her forehead and back drenched in her own sweat. She snapped her head from side to side in panic until she realized the arms holding her close.  
  
"Max..." She sighed as she fell into his chest, exhausted.  
  
He pulled away slowly at her acknowledgement of him. Giving her a soft smile, he gently brushed back the damp blonde strands of hair from her forehead. "You were dreaming."  
  
She nodded her head. "Yeah, I know." She looked up at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."  
  
Max laughed, "Of COURSE you didn't." he nudged Usagi playfully and winked at her as she joined in on his laughter.  
  
He rose from her bedside and re-tied his robe before picking up an empty glass from her nightstand and taking it with him into the bathroom to re- fill it.  
  
Usagi looked over him as he did so. He was such a sweet man. Even though he was not always the best at expressing his emotions verbally, he found ways to show you he cared.  
  
She could deffinitly tell not only why Kate loved him, but why she married him. Next to being a kind-hearted Christian man, he was a hard working, southern son-of-a-bitch.  
  
Usagi smiled thinking back to the first time Demando had re-appeared to her. Max had coming storming in at her screams, kicking down the door, his shotgun aimed and ready to kill whoever was threatening his family.  
  
As far as looks went, well, she had heard that in high school he had girls practically throwing themselves at him. He had that shy, down-home country boy look to him that the girls just *died* over. She could just picture him with his sandy blonde hair, and soft, light-blue eyes in his faded overalls, blushing as the girls around him giggled and tried to flirt with him.  
  
Usagi's smile broadened. It was a most amusing picture. However her smile faded as another strong male figure drifted into her mind.  
  
Mamoru.  
  
She sank below her covers. She would be seeing him again in less than twelve hours when he came over for his appointment with Keisuke. It wasn't that she didn't want to see him; actually, what scarred her was how much she wanted quite the opposite.  
  
Max returned a couple minutes later with a fresh cup of water. She took it from him gratefully as he smoothed down her hair once more and placed a fatherly kiss on her forehead. "Now you best be getting back to sleep young lady."  
  
She giggled as he turned out her light and tucked the covers in around her before finally turning towards the door.  
  
"Hey Max?" Usagi whispered.  
  
He stopped. "Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
He chuckled, closing the door behind him, "Noo problemo," he drawled and clicked the door shut.  
  
***************  
  
Mamoru had just entered his apartment, and had barely sat down when the phone rang.  
  
He rose, groaning and mumbled something about disconnecting it before warily picking up the receiver.  
  
"Mamoru Chiba." He said, answering in his usual monotone.  
  
"Well you sound cheery." A sarcastic female voice drawled on the other line.  
  
Mamoru perked up instantly. "Rei! How are you? How are things back home?"  
  
"Well, they could deffinitly be better. Mamoru-san, I've been picking up some bad vibes in my last few mediations. I asked the Fire to give me a clearer picture of what was wrong, but I only saw the outline of a landscape." She paused for some form of dramatic effect.  
  
"And..." Mamoru cajoled her impatiently.  
  
"I looked it up, it's the outline of an American state, Mamoru, your state."  
  
"It showed you Virginia?" He asked dumbly.  
  
"Are you staying anywhere else?" Rei bit, Mamoru could tell she was starting to get annoyed with him. That girl had less patience than a cable modem user on a 56k.  
  
"So, what? That's it, just bad vibes from Virginia?" He switched ears and opened his refrigerator, bringing out some of the Chinese take out he'd had from the night before.  
  
"No, it showed me a gold, five pointed star, outlined by a circle, but who knows what that means. Sorry I can't give you more than that, and normally I wouldn't say anything until I got a clearer picture, but given that you're in Virginia... Just be careful OK?"  
  
She bit her lip nervously. Rei would never admit it but she'd come to care deeply for Mamoru in the past four years. She wouldn't go so far as to say that she LOVED him, more like respected him. She could think of no other man who would have searched that long and that hard for a girl who, in her opinion, though it killed her to say it, he was probably never going to find.  
  
There was silence on both lines for a few minutes before Rei gathered her thoughts once more, the long distance bill not forgotten.  
  
"So talk fast Chiba, we only got a little bit longer. How are you doing over there huh? Found anyone for your Thesis yet?  
  
Mamoru smiled, "Yes, actually. His name is Casey... Dammit! I can never remember his last name." Mamoru shook his head in frustration; perhaps he would do some meditating himself tonight. He seemed to be not thinking as clearly as usual. "Anyway, he's four years old and the top student in his class, but that's only part of the reason why I chose him."  
  
Mamoru leaned against the counter, picked up his chopsticks and stuffed some Chinese food into his mouth before continuing. "He has this thing... I can't put my finger on it. You would call it "good vibes", but it's something more too. He... glows, somehow. He's so full of life it's amazing. And his mother! She's just the sweetest woman in the world."  
  
"His mother huh?" Rei teased.  
  
Mamoru's mouth thinned. "Rei don't even go there." He warned dangerously.  
  
Rei laughed, testing his patience. "Aw, come on Mo-chan. So is she hot?"  
  
"God DAMMIT Rei! Didn't I say not to go there?! I mean, by all that's holy you'd think you'd forgotten all about your own best friend. Can't you catch a clue? I'm not giving up on her!" He yelled, surprising himself more than anyone. 'Jesus Mamoru get a grip! Ya didn't have to yell at her for God's sake!' he growled at himself, before opening his mouth to apologize, but it was already too late. The fiery Shinto Priestess' match had already been lit.  
  
"No YOU catch a clue Chiba Mamoru! Don't you think I loved Usagi? Don't you think I miss her and cried over her until I had no more tears left to cry? But Mamoru, FACE THE FACTS! Usa. Is. GONE. She's not coming back! We've searched the world twice over for her and come up with nothing. I know as well as you do she's alive, I can feel as much, but she LEFT Mamoru-san! She, LEFT! Wherever Usa is now she doesn't want us to find her! You can keep on searching Mo-Chan, but I'm through. I can't stand it anymore. I can't. It hurts too much."  
  
Her voice cracked with a sob, and Mamoru felt like a real heel. Now he'd done it.  
  
Mamoru raked a hand through his thick night-black hair, trying to think of ways to calm her. "Ah, jeez Rei-Chan, I'm sorry please don't cry. I'll-"  
  
"No Mamoru, I can't talk to you right now. When you're willing to wake up call me, until then... Just call me when you catch a clue."  
  
A click was heard on the other line and Mamoru cursed.  
  
Sighing he walked into the living room and hung up the phone.  
  
Rolling up the sleeves to his white work shirt, Mamoru sank down on the couch and put his head in his hands.  
  
Rei was right. He too, was getting tired, and lonely. It was hard enough waiting for her all those years, but this time... He just didn't know if he could take it anymore.  
  
But it hurt. GOD how it hurt. He wanted to hold her, to touch her, to calm his and her fears with kisses. He needed to lie beside her at night and feel her warmth seep through him and give him strength. There was no denying it. He still loved her- would always love her, but right now he just needed a break, if only to sort out his own confused heart.  
  
His stomach growled and remembering his food, he got up shakily moving to the kitchen to retrieve the boxes and bring them back into the living room.  
  
Once seated and eating, he began thinking about the very woman that had him ranting in the first place. Serena.  
  
Now that woman was dangerous. If she wasn't a substitute for Usagi, he didn't know who was. She looked like her, smelt like her, felt like her. Yet, she was so very different.  
  
For starters she was much more mature.  
  
He smiled sadly at that, knowing the reason for it. It wasn't hard to figure out, even without Casey's explanation, that she'd had her son very young, too young. His heart truly did ache for her. Having a baby at fifteen would be hard on any girl, and from what little he knew from Casey's story, she had no one to care for and shelter her in the crucial months before and after his birth.  
  
He silently thanked God that he had given her a home, and people to care for her and her son. Had her caretakers, Kate and Max, never found her, she would most likely not be living, and neither would Casey.  
  
However that was not the only way in which she was more mature than his love. She WAS, well, nineteen...  
  
HE couldn't help himself from noticing! He WAS male after all! And she was female, BOY was she female. Slightly wavy blonde hair framed crystal blue eyes, outlined by intelligent thin frames, sensuous lips...  
  
He shook his head trying to clear it, but his mind continued to sweep over the mental picture it held of the woman. Her well sized, he swallowed, "endowments", a thin waist, voluptuous hips...  
  
Mamoru banged his head on the coffee table this time in order to clear his thoughts fully.  
  
However those... attributes, were not what made her dangerous to him. It was how she used them. How her smile lit up the room, and her laughter seemed to fill it. In the short periods of time he'd been with her she had cast a spell over him so strong, it truly scared him. Chills-down-his-back scared him. Dreaming-about-her scared him. The only other woman who had EVER scared him that way was...  
  
"Get a grip Chiba!" he said aloud, "you're dreaming about her and you've meet her what? TWICE? You disgust me." He laughed. "You're even talking to yourself and it's only," he glanced up at the clock, "Five O-clock-HOLY SHIT!"  
  
Mamoru jumped up from the couch almost knocking over his coffee table in the process. After steadying it he grabbed his briefcase and coat, practically throwing himself out the door. His appointment with Casey was at 4:30!  
  
***************  
  
Usagi paced the room impatiently, glancing every so often at the clock. Where WAS he? In all her years she had never known Mamoru to be late for anything there was a set time for. Hell, he usually early, but never late.  
  
Keisuke looked up at his mother and frowned. "Stop worrying Mama, he probably just got stuck in traffic. It IS rush hour."  
  
Usagi stopped her pacing and turned on her son with a sadistic grin. "You don't even know what that means!"  
  
She pounced and he let out a squeal as she assaulted him with tickles.  
  
"Ma- Ma, MAMA!" he gasped in short breaths as Usagi continued her attacks with full force.  
  
"What do ya say Casey?" She growled playfully.  
  
"TIME OUT!" he screamed and Usagi rose laughing all the while.  
  
"What's going on here?" a deep voice rumbled from the stairway, and Max emerged buttoning the cuffs to his tuxedo.  
  
"MAX! Mama was tickling me again!" He relayed in a playful voice.  
  
Usagi stuck out her tongue at him. "Tattle Tale." She teased.  
  
Keisuke stuck out his tongue back at her as Max chuckled, "Well did ya tickle her back?"  
  
Keisuke pulled his tongue back in. "I can do that?"  
  
Usagi and Max burst out laughing at his innocent question.  
  
Kate came out from the kitchen in a beautiful strapless green ball gown and picked Keisuke up from behind. "Of course you can sweetie, don't mind them their just being mean!" But her laughter echoed throughout the room as well.  
  
"Now you two be good while we're at this awful--" Max swallowed, quickly correcting himself at his wife's glare, "-lly generous fund raiser."  
  
Usagi grinned at her son as his put both hands in the air as if on a roller coaster, "After Mr. Chiba leaves it's MOVIE NIGHT!"  
  
"If he ever gets here..." Usagi sighed just as there was a rushed rapping on the door.  
  
She perked up instantly at the sound. "That must be him now!"  
  
Kate raised a brow curiously at Usagi as she jumped up, and primped herself slightly before answering the knock, but she decided to let it slide... Until they got back that was.  
  
Usagi took a deep breath and opened the door and had to keep from laughing in amusement at the disheveled man before her.  
  
His normally neat and combed hair was wild, sticking every which way. His tie was slightly crooked, and papers could be seen poking out of his briefcase.  
  
Mamoru beamed at her, his heart skipping a beat as she smiled back. "Hello Ms. Tsukino." He gasped, out of breath.  
  
She giggled a little and opened the door fully to let him in.  
  
Usagi scratched the back of her head awkwardly before motioning with her hand to where Kate and Max stood.  
  
"Um Kate, Max, this is Case's Science teacher Mr. Chiba. Mr. Chiba, Kate and Max, my fosters and dear friends."  
  
Exchanging nods and "nice to meet you's", the men struck up a brief conversation before Kate coughed, seeing Usagi's nervous look, and called, "Pizza's number is on the fridge!" before pulling Max out the door.  
  
Usagi sighed, relieved. She'd have to thank Kate for that one later. She loved Max dearly, but he was so much like her father is scared her. Had they talked much longer, Max would no doubt have been asking Mamoru what his intentions towards her were, and that certainly would not have gone over well.  
  
Mamoru sighed, placing his briefcase on the couch and bowed slightly to Usagi out of habit. "I am SO sorry, Ms. Tsukino, I got stuck in traffic and before that my-" Think quick! Think quick! "sister, well she's like my sister, anyway she kept me on the phone, and I REALLY am sorry. It will not happen again." Well, it wasn't a complete lie. He couldn't very well tell her that she was, indirectly, the reason he was late. But what a blubbering fool he felt like. Why was he so tongue-tied? He shook his head. Dangerous, this girl was dangerous.  
  
Usagi smiled sweetly, "It's quite all right Mr. Chiba, we were just getting worried, that's all." She slapped her hands on her thighs before continuing. "SO! You guys get to work, I'll be upstairs doing physics homework myself, so just call me is you need anything!"  
  
Mamoru turned and grinned at Keisuke. "Shall we?" He asked playfully motioning to the work laid out. Keisuke giggled and nodded happily as Usagi started to retreat upstairs but paused halfway up. "Oh! Mr. Chiba?"  
  
Her heart melted as he turned around to face her, a smile on his gorgeous lips. Usagi swallowed. "Call me Serena."  
  
He chuckled and nodded, his grin broadening. "All right, Serena, in that case call me Mamoru."  
  
***************  
  
"Pythagorean theorem."  
  
"'A' squared plus 'b' squared equals 'c' squared."  
  
"EXCELLENT, now last one, quadratic formula."  
  
"'X' equals the opposite of 'b' plus or minus the square root of the quantity 'b' squared minus four 'a' 'c' all divided by two 'a'."  
  
"Amazing Casey, you really are amazing. This is great, this is only our first session and I think I can already start on proving my Thesis based on just my notes from today." Mamoru exclaimed as he wrote down his last notes and packed up their work.  
  
Mamoru was just about finished packing when Usagi jumped in the doorway. "Did I hear you say you were all done?" She inquired anxiously.  
  
Mamoru laughed. "Something to that extent, yes."  
  
Usagi beamed. "Well great, cause it's time to order pizza. Any requests Casey?"  
  
Keisuke jumped up excitedly, running into his mama's arms, "PIIZZAA!" He cried happily as Usagi caught him and swung him around.  
  
"Yes, we've established that what do you want ON it?" Usagi tried asking but burst out laughing when he only responded with another happy cry of, "PIIZZAA!"  
  
Mamoru shook his head marveling at how quickly Casey could jump from four- year-old boy genius, to just an average four-year-old.  
  
Smiling he picked up his briefcase and began to move towards the door. "I'll leave you two to your 'PIIZZAA!'" he cried out the word mimicking the thrilled Keisuke as he mussed up his hair playfully.  
  
Keisuke stopped his horsing around with Usagi and turned to Mamoru, an innocent idea forming in his little head. "Hey Mama! Can Mr. Chiba stay for pizza and a movie night?" He turned his head back and forth excitedly between the two adults. "Can you Mr. Chiba? Huh? Can you?"  
  
Mamoru stuttered, his pulse quickening at the thought of spending dinner at her house. He frowned mentally. Had he himself done the very thing he accused Rei of earlier? Was he forgetting about Usagi?  
  
No, no he rationalized. He would never forget her, but as he realized earlier, he did need a break from looking. Rei's words floated their way back into his head, and he knew them to be right. What if he never found Usa? What if she really didn't want to be found? She'd want him to be happy right?  
  
He looked up at Serena's turned form as she bit her lip. Just at that moment the light reflected off her blonde ponytail in such a way that made Mamoru take a step back.  
  
Or maybe, a break from looking was exactly the opposite of what he needed. Maybe, he just wasn't looking hard enough. Maybe...  
  
"Mama? It's OK right? Can Mr. Chiba stay here?"  
  
Usagi stammered herself, unsure of what to do. She looked up to Mamoru, "I-- , I guess if he wants to Mr.- Mamoru can stay, why not?"  
  
How in the world did she get herself INTO these things?  
  
"Mr. Chiba, will ya stay?" Keisuke pleaded once more.  
  
Mamoru looked down and a sudden realization dawned on him as he looked from son to mother. Suddenly it all made sense why he felt the way he did. Suddenly his world was shattered and put back in a much more agreeable manor. He turned to Usagi and smiled lovingly at her, shocking her as he just as suddenly answered, "Yeah, sure Casey, I'll stay."  
  
***************  
  
DUN DUN DUN! Actually it is a cliffhanger if you look at it sideways! :) Stay tuned for chapter 7! It'll be out soon! I Promise! 


	8. Chapter 7: Love

Well, first shout out goes to Shayna for all THREE of her lovely reviews. ^_~ And thanks to all my reviewers for your support, I know the last chapter was a little slow, and this one is too, but of course, I would not be writing it if it were not necessary.  
  
**********************  
  
Love, Labors, Lost  
  
Chapter 7: Love  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
**********************  
  
"E- excuse me?" Usagi asked taken aback by his answer.  
  
Mamoru smiled. "I said, sure I'd love to stay." He laughed slightly at her seemingly appalled look, holding up his hands playfully. "Hey I'll even pay for my share! But I could deffinitly go for some pizza tonight."  
  
"YAY!" Casey shouted, shooting both arms straight above his head.  
  
Usagi jumped a little at his cry and shook her head trying to rid herself of the shock of his answer and get herself back to reality. But she couldn't help that thought shook her to the core. Mamoru... Mamo-chan, there, for hours... watching a movie. The last time they did that it was on a date...  
  
"NO!" she shouted suddenly and two sets of eyes turned to her instantly.  
  
The darker of the two narrowed, daring her to say it. Daring her to admit what he was growing surer by the minute was the truth.  
  
"No..." Usagi repeated, softer this time. Her eyes caught a spark in his, and her whole body stiffened. Did he know? It was impossible! There was no way he could know. She was safe... for now. But was where she was really safer than what she thought she was protecting herself from? She couldn't be sure. In fact, she couldn't be sure of much of anything recently. Three weeks ago, she KNEW that she was partly at fault for Keisuke's conception and birth. Two weeks ago she KNEW that she would never see anyone she loved before Keisuke ever again. And one week ago she KNEW that Demando had come back from the depths of hell to re-claim her. There was no telling what she would know tomorrow.  
  
Actually she was starting to think that she had just dreamed up Demando as some hellish nightmare come back to haunt her for what she had done. In the end it drove her to tell Max and Kate the truth about her faults, only to learn that she had nothing to feel at fault for.  
  
She looked at her lover for over a millennia up and down. What was keeping her from him now anyway? If she had nothing to be at fault for then couldn't she just run back into his embrace? Oh, but she did have her faults she reminded herself. She had left him. Left him hanging dry, all for reasons that made absolutely no sense now.  
  
She KNEW then too, that if she stayed in Juuban, with child and obviously unmarried, her family would have lost more face than possibly imaginable. She knew as well, that the first person they would look to blame would be her precious innocent Mamo-Chan. Her Mamo-Chan who believed her to still be a virgin.  
  
Of course Mamoru would never just abandon her alone with a baby, even if it had been her fault. He was too good of a man. That was why she had to leave him. She knew it then as a hurt and pregnant fourteen-year-old, and in this area she had not matured in the least, as she knew the exact same thing today as well. Mamoru's chivalry would have kicked in. He would have taken the blame for her pregnancy, married her right then and there, and she would have been the ruin of all his dreams as he dropped out of his college and taken up a minimum wage job. All to support her and a child that wasn't even his own.  
  
"No that won't be necessary, I will pay. Mushroom and pepperoni sound OK?" She smiled as they nodded eagerly at her and she retreated into the kitchen to make the phone call.  
  
This was the only time she would ever be close to him again she rationalized. She might as well take advantage of her opportunity. She'd left him almost five years ago and now, when she would have finally had her chance for redemption she had already deceived him almost from the first words out of her mouth. Had he only seen her for the first time the day after he did, she would have happily confessed herself to him, but she had already done too much damage.  
  
She doubted he would forgive her after what she did to him, and if he did she didn't deserve his love. Who was she to have it to greedily soak up after the years of pain she caused him?  
  
'You both deserve happiness you know.' A voice whispered inside her head but she shooed it away without a second thought.  
  
Usagi had decided soon after Keisuke's birth that life could be summed up in three words. The first was 'Love'. Every human, or every decent human at least, held an untainted, untouchable love for at least one other person. She'd been blessed with a son to love, and she did so, with every fiber of her being. Had it not been for him she would have taken her life all those years ago. It seemed to her ages away now. She also had a man she loved deeply, a different sort of love than that of her child, but none the less passionate. But he was only to love from afar. Not to mention all those she still cared deeply for whom she had left back in Japan. Which brought her to her second word.  
  
Labors. Everyone, especially after they had love she had noticed, experienced labor in some form. She personally had been in 'labor', the labor of childbirth, but the pain that brought on was far less than of the labors her heart endured surrounding it.  
  
The final word in her trilogy was 'Lost'. There were no two ways around it. After the love, after the labor, you only lost. She had lost so much in her life she was starting to think that it was the only word that mattered out of the three.  
  
But with the revelations of the week before, and how much of her old happiness seemed to be returning, she was starting to think that a fourth word might fit somewhere in her tragic life's tale. However as of that moment, her heart only ached at the thought that man she had loved labored over and then finally lost, was standing in the very next room, staying for a pizza night. A PIZZA NIGHT!  
  
She shook her head as she dialed the number of the pizza parlor. That man never ceased to amaze her, and he certainly wasn't willing to stay out of her life, even if it was just his sub-conscious driving him. Fate did seem to like them together though, and she certainly couldn't complain.  
  
Usagi rubbed her eyes in frustration, trying to burn the oncoming tears out of them. What was wrong with her? One minute she was telling herself that she could never be with him, the next she was off swooning again.  
  
The delivery service on the other line picked up, and she hastily ordered, trying not to let him hear the crack him her voice.  
  
Plastering on a huge smile she prepared herself to enter living room for round two. She glanced to her right at the floor length mirror for a quick check over, however what she saw nearly knocked the wind out her. She let out a loud gasp and stumbled back into the kitchen.  
  
"Serena, are you all right?" Mamoru cautiously asked, his voice drifting in from the next room.  
  
Serena smiled hard and took a deep breath, half forcing her sweet tone. "I'm fine, Mr. Chiba, I... just stubbed my toe, I'll be out there in a sec, you boys just pick out a movie."  
  
At his mumbled consent Usagi flew into the bathroom and gazed, horrified at her reflection. The problem being that there was no problem. She looked herself, COMPLETELY herself. For since Usagi knew what she looked like before the spell of the crystal, her true appearance was hidden not only from Mamoru, or anyone from her past, but also from herself.  
  
But no longer as the woman gazing back at her was deffinitly Usagi, not Serena.  
  
The crystal! Where had she put it? She stuffed her hands in the pouch of her pink sweater, and sure enough, there was the gem. She closed the bathroom door and took it out, carefully inspecting it for any sign of flaw that would make it malfunction. However she was only dismayed further as it did not seem to glow any less, but much, much more.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"What is hidden to you is hidden to the crystal. What you do not wish to see, the crystal will not show you until you are ready, or need to see it. The crystal responds to you and your heart only Usagi-Chan, you alone control its awe-full power, and that is why you must work at keeping your mind level. There is no harnessing the crystal. To harness the crystal, would be to harness your heart. However, through strong self-control and a sound mind you can help sway and guide its power, and that it what I am trying to work with you on now."  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
One of Luna's old lectures, she gasped at the memory. The crystal was responding to her heart, and her heart no longer wanted to hide. Not her feelings, but not her appearance either.  
  
However Usagi had stopped listening to her heart long ago, as pain was the only thing that shadowed it.  
  
No, what her heart wanted, and what was best for herself and everyone else were not the same. Mamoru could not see her and know her, it would not be fair to him, and she would not be getting the punishment she deserved for what she did to him.  
  
She tried to focus her mind and heart into the crystal, but all she received in return was a brighter glow, and a flush of life in her cheeks.  
  
She sighed exasperated, and eyed the clock, knowing that the pizza would be there any minute.  
  
What was she going to do? She sighed again and leaned over the sink, knocking a bottle over onto the floor in the process.  
  
She knelt down to pick it up, but upon reading the label and looking back up into her reflection once more, she pushed the cap open, and grinned.  
  
**********************  
  
"Mama, pizza's here!" Keisuke called from the living room as the doorbell sounded.  
  
"Coming!" Usagi called loud enough so that the Pizza Boy on the other side could hear her.  
  
She grabbed the money on the table and dashed to the door, unlocking it quickly. But instead of the bored glance of a teenage boy, a scream is what greeted her.  
  
Usagi frowned and put a hand on her hip, and offered the money in the other.  
  
"So- sorry ma'am, I... Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I just was... I mean I've seen it before but... Oh! Um, well here's you pizza sir." He handed the pizza to Mamoru who had just emerged over Usagi's shoulder. "Have a nice evening." He turned to leave but Usagi cleared her throat, annoyed.  
  
The adolescent turned around slowly, as if bracing himself for the sight behind him, "Ye- yes miss?"  
  
Usagi rolled her eyes, but winced at the tingling feeling it left on her eyelids. "You're money?"  
  
"Oh!" His eyes lit up intelligently, "Of course, can't forget that!" he laughed nervously taking the money.  
  
"Keep the change." Usagi drawled as he counted the bills.  
  
"Thank you miss! Good Night!" and quicker than she could blink, which actually was a harder task now than before, he was gone.  
  
Mamoru scratched his head after setting the pizza down as Usagi closed and locked the door.  
  
"What was his prob--- GA!" he jumped as she turned around.  
  
"What? What, what?" Keisuke ran over to the adults, curious as ever. "What's--, MAMA!" he wailed upon seeing her.  
  
Usagi threw her hands into the air. "WHAT is wrong? It's not THAT hideous."  
  
She cocked her white head to the side and crossed her arms.  
  
"What is it?" Keisuke asked, walking towards her slowly, as if to reassure himself that she really was his mother.  
  
"IT'S A FACIAL MASK!" she laughed exasperatedly as Keisuke finally decided she was safe and ran into her open arms. She eyed Mamoru for a reaction but he only stood a few feet ahead of them smiling endearingly, yet puzzled at her.  
  
"What does it do?" Keisuke asked in wonder, reaching up to touch her face.  
  
"It hides your..." Mamoru answered on scientific autopilot, however he paused, bewildered that the words he'd chosen to explain it with were not medical, but more helpful than he could have wished for. "Face." He finished slowly, his lips curving into a knowing smile at Usagi, but just as her eyes began to widen, it vanished and was replaced by his normal confident one. "It hides your face while cleaning your pores and often gives a relaxed, cleansing feeling. Many claim it to be very therapeutic."  
  
Usagi looked up to him once more, her eyes searching his, but they instantly returned to her son's when he began to rise.  
  
"Is it?"  
  
She gave him a puzzled look. "Is it what?"  
  
"Therapeutic." The sweet tenor in front of her answered. Mamoru slowly knelled down to their level on the floor, like a tiger starting to crouch. "Is it therapeutic... Serena?"  
  
Usagi swallowed hard, but held onto her resolve and smiled pleasantly, though rather strangely through the white paste, "Yes, quite. Sorry, I must look horrible but my face just felt so greasy and I hadn't done it in a while. So I thought, why not now?"  
  
Mamoru smiled wryly at her, "Of course." He stated and stared into her baby blues with what he thought to be un-shielded eyes for the first time.  
  
"Whatever." Keisuke said, snapping both adults back to reality. He jumped up and scrambled over to the DVD he had picked out while Mamoru stood hastily, nervously rubbing his neck and Usagi rose herself, breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
"So," Usagi breathed, "what'll it be tonight Casey?"  
  
Keisuke grinned as he slipped the disk into its player.  
  
"Matilda."  
  
Mamoru furrowed his brows taking a seat on the couch. "I do not believe I know of that one."  
  
"It's based off a book by a famous writer of children's stories. It about, well... A child genius," Usagi explained seating herself as well after dishing out the pizza. "Just like my baby boy." She cooed grabbing Casey when he neared the couch and nuzzling his head with her lips.  
  
"MA-MA!" He cried annoyed, but she only laughed. "Yeah well, *I* don't have special powers." Keisuke scowled.  
  
Usagi gave a slight smile; kissing his light locks once more as he settled in her lap. "I wouldn't say that."  
  
Mamoru smiled again himself, taking a bite of his pizza, "Sounds interesting." He said, and it began.  
  
**********************  
  
"Honey, would you relax? We're here to have a good time." Kate whispered into her husband's ear as she led him to the dance floor.  
  
"No, we're here to make it SEEM like we're having a good time, give the company some good face, not to mention a considerable donation, then leave." Max gave her a huge fake grin, barring as many of his pearly whites that his lips allowed.  
  
Kate slapped his arm, "Oh behave!" she hissed as he took her in his arms and swayed them to the soft classical music being played.  
  
Kate ran her hands up and down his arms, trying to sooth the tense muscles underneath his tuxedo jacket. "You've been so tense ever since we left the house," she frowned.  
  
Max sighed and rested his chin on her head, "I know, but there was just something about that Mr. Chiba. He seemed... I don't know, familiar, somehow."  
  
Kate laughed lightly, "You mean you didn't recognize him?"  
  
Max lowered his head to meet his wife's eyes, pools of deep emerald knowledge they were, always knowing, always seeing what others did not. "Should I have?"  
  
"Max, he's the man in that photo of Sere- Usagi's. You know? The one I found in her top drawer when I was cleaning her room a while back?"  
  
Max raised startled eyebrows, running his fingers through her loose chestnut-colored hair, "Are you positive?" he whispered in shock.  
  
Kate closed her eyes and laid a cheek on to his shoulder. "There's no questioning it. That's her old boyfriend. The one she thought she betrayed, the one she left all those years ago. Mamoru Chiba."  
  
"So that's him," Max trailed off softly.  
  
She sighed; opening her eyes and bit the inside of her cheek in thought. "The question is, what is she pulling. Or what is HE pulling?"  
  
"All right Love, enough with the melodramatics, give it to me straight. You know I'm just a dumb ol' farm boy." He chuckled lightly, speaking in his natural southern Virginia twang. "Am I gonna have to shoot this boy or what?"  
  
Kate laughed and raised her head, shaking it lightly. "No, no, all I'm saying is that you'd think he would be sweeping her off her feet, or they'd be awkward around each other SOMETHING. But no, he acted as if he were Casey's teacher, and nothing more."  
  
"Might be they don't recognize each other."  
  
Kate giggled but added sternly, "Baby, I KNOW your accent isn't THAT thick, and this is serious. I know Serena, loved him. And I think she still loves him. If we can recognize him from a picture, she'd recognize him a mile away."  
  
Max furrowed his brows and shifted his weight slightly, straitening himself up a little. "I'm no expert on this sort of thing, but ever since Serena told us what happened to her, I've been... Well... I've been reading up on it a little." He swallowed and shifted uncomfortably again.  
  
Kate smiled endearingly and gave his arm a small squeeze. She knew how much Serena meant to him, and how much he was affected by what she confided in them about.  
  
Max had always been a very physical person. Heck, the way they met was when her date at a barn party had gotten drunk and hit her. Max had been her knight in shinning armor, or rather shaggy blue overalls. But in any case, he came and knocked the guy to the ground with just one punch.  
  
He was very old fashioned, and in his mind, the only time a man had the right to hurt a woman physically was if she was threatening his life.  
  
Usagi had been hurt, badly. In Max's mind it was the worst kind of hurt there was. But the man who had done it was dead, and there was no way Max could solve this one with a punch, and Kate knew it frustrated him to no end.  
  
"Go on baby." She prodded finally.  
  
"Well, I've been reading up on it and one of the books says that sometimes, when a girl l-like Serena," he paused, but continued re-assured by Kate's smile. "When a girl like Serena feels like they betrayed the ones closest to them, sometimes they don't want to face them again. So it might be, that she recognizes him, but he doesn't recognize her, and she wants it to stay that way. Ya know, cause she's afraid that he'll be mad at her for it, eve though it wasn't her fault. She doesn't know that HE doesn't know that it wasn't her fault."  
  
Kate smiled, "I'm impressed, you really did read up on it!"  
  
Max growled and pulled her closer, "Now whose not being serious?" he joked.  
  
She sighed, "Hmm, your right, but it just doesn't make any sense. She finally gets to be with him, I mean she knows it's not her fault right? We've heard her talk about him here and there. I mean, I know that she puts him in the best light possible, not being with him for so long and feeling guilty for what she did, but Serena's a pretty good judge of character, he sounds like the type of guy who'd understand and be supportive of her. I'm sure once he heard what happened to her he'd only want to help. Unless..." She gasped, and looked up into Max's eyes sorrowfully.  
  
"Unless she knows that, but she... Oh Max, she did leave him, she must be afraid that because she left him... Oh our poor Serena!" She hugged his neck and he tightened the hold on her waist, as the music in the background crescendoed, and ended without warning.  
  
A tear escaped Kate's eye and fell onto Max's black suit, darkening the material a bit where it fell. "Just like their love." She said sadly as she slowly pulled away from her husband  
  
"What is darling?" he asked, tracing the lines of her jaw with one finger.  
  
"The music." She said waving a gloved hand to the orchestra, "Soft and sweet, just reaching it's peak, and then... suddenly dropped. It's up to them whether they pick up the tempo once more," she paused, her eyes narrowing slightly, "or let the song end there."  
  
**********************  
  
Usagi stood, facing her enemy with clenched fists.  
  
"WORK dammit!" She hissed, but the crystal resting on her dresser did not respond in the least to her command.  
  
Usagi growled. "If only I had... that's it!" she gasped smacking her forehead and began rummaging around in her drawers for the coveted item. She realized how ridiculous she was being. Scraping around for a temporary means to hide herself from him.  
  
But what else was she going to use? Her heart had betrayed her and the crystal was not responding to what she needed, because it no longer matched with what she wanted.  
  
She was being selfish now, completely and utterly selfish. Before, when she believed that the rape was her fault, she truly wanted him to not see her, out of shame for what she had done. But it did not make any sense! She should still have that shame for leaving him, and she knew that if he found out what she had done, he would never forgive her.  
  
"Thank God," she sighed as her hand finally curved around the object she was searching for. But secretly her heart sank at the finding.  
  
"Mama! We're gonna start the movie again. Come downstairs!" Keisuke called from the banister.  
  
"I'll be there in a minute sweetheart!" she called down anxiously as she raised the Luna Disguise Pen into the air.  
  
"Disguise Power!" She whispered as a silent tear fell down her cheek.  
  
**********************  
  
Mamoru leaned back into the couch's soft cushioning, anxiously awaiting Serena's decent. She'd gone to wipe off her face, and he knew that eventually she would have to come down and reveal herself to be who he desperately wanted her to be.  
  
He jumped slightly as Keisuke's small form made its way back into the living room. He shrugged at Mamoru's questioning brow.  
  
"She said she'd be right down."  
  
Mamoru sighed and lifted his ankle to rest on his knee, smiling meekly to the boy across from him.  
  
Keisuke's features contorted into a small frown as he studied the older man. He could swear his teacher looked familiar from somewhere other than school, but he couldn't put his finger on it, and for a boy as bright as he, this was a very frustrating feeling.  
  
"Don't worry about Mama," He said softly as Mamoru glanced towards the staircase. "She can get real nervous sometimes, about nothing at all! Like when I say something in Japanese, she gets really stern and frowns, like this." Keisuke shot Mamoru a glare identical to the one his mother used on him.  
  
Mamoru laughed slightly, but was intrigued by what he had said, "You speak Japanese Casey?"  
  
Keisuke nodded enthusiastically, "Mama knows how, she used to talk to me in Japanese when I was REALLY little. I was just a baby, but it sorta stuck with me. A lot of things sorta stick with me..." He trailed off for a minute, but straightened up again as another thought stuck him.  
  
"You wanna know what?" He asked secretively.  
  
Mamoru leaned in, happily playing along with his enthusiasm. "What?"  
  
"I think Mama likes you." He whispered.  
  
Mamoru's brows rose in genuine surprise at the comment as Keisuke leaned back and giggled. But before Mamoru could ask any questions, he heard a melodic voice come to him from behind.  
  
"Usa..." he rasped out under his breath as he whirled around to see her. But when his eyes finally met hers, he was greeted only by Serena's sweet face, not Usagi's.  
  
"Sorry I took so long, the darn stuff just wouldn't come off." Serena smiled kindly at him as she walked around the couch to sit with her son.  
  
Mamoru stared at her for a moment in a daze before her voice snapped him back.  
  
"Is something wrong Mamoru?" She reached up to touch her face, "Did I get all of it?"  
  
Mamoru shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked back to her, giving a slight smile. "No, I mean yes, yes you got it all, it's just... Has anyone ever told you you're..." he stopped, searching her eyes desperately.  
  
Usagi laughed nervously, "I'm what?"  
  
Mamoru laughed slightly himself and shook his head. "Nothing, never mind. It's nothing."  
  
"Oh..." She sighed as she took the remote and hit play. But something in the way she said it kept Mamoru's eyes glued to her form. Could that have been, hope, in her voice?  
  
**********************  
  
"WE'RE HO-me..." Max began to announce loudly as he entered in the doorway, but Usagi quickly put a finger to her lips and pointed to the sleeping four- year old in her arms, and he stifled his voice noticeably.  
  
Kate fallowed soon in suite with her husband, waving to Usagi, and slipping a sly wink to Mamoru when he turned around, her lightly freckled nose scrunching playfully in the process.  
  
He chuckled silently as Kate made a motion with her hands indicating that they were going upstairs and offered out her arms to take the sleeping child with her.  
  
Usagi nodded and picked up Keisuke slowly, softly placing him in Kate's arms and laid a loving kiss on his forehead.  
  
"Night Mama..." He moaned softly.  
  
She smiled and brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Night Baby."  
  
"Night Mr. Chiba, thanks for staying, I hope you had fun with us..." he yawned almost incoherently as Mamoru approached.  
  
He smiled endearingly back at him and placed a hand on his forehead, "Thank you Casey, I had a wonderful time. I'll see you next week."  
  
"Hmmm kay..." he mumbled snuggling into Kate's arms as they retreated up the stairs.  
  
Once alone, Usagi and Mamoru shifted awkwardly, both too confused and nervous to say anything.  
  
"Oh, here's you- your briefcase Mamo...ru." She spoke finally, cautious to use his full name in place of the endearment she so longed to use.  
  
"Oh, yes of course." He said quickly. He reached for it, but as he took hold of the handle his hand brushed against hers and he felt a tremendous jolt go through him, but what surprised him was not the jolt itself, but that it was not supernatural in any way. No, it was pure human electricity, right down to the tickling sensation in the pit of his stomach.  
  
Obviously, she felt it too for she pulled her hand away quickly, but with something he thought... hoped, with what he hoped to be regret, a light blush staining her cheeks.  
  
"Look, Mamoru I-"  
  
"Serena I-"  
  
Realizing they had both spoken at once, they laughed a little, releasing some of the tension in the air.  
  
She opened her mouth to speak once more, but he set down his briefcase, and in the blink of an eye he grabbed both her hands in his, causing her to gasp lightly as he looked shyly down at his feet before his brought his hope-filled eyes up to hers.  
  
"Serena, I- I realize that we did not get off to a good start, and I just wanted you to know that if I did anything to make you-" he started, but stopped when she started shaking her head.  
  
"No, no Mamoru. No." She said firmly giving his hands an unconscious squeeze. "It, wasn't you. I'm SO sorry, I must have looked like a fool running all around the place as jumpy as a rabbit but..." she sighed, how could she put this so he's understand without really understanding? "You see, I just came out of... There are a lot of things you don't know about Casey and me. You can see I had him really young and I just haven't had much time to... socialize I guess?" She finished, her eyes pleading.  
  
He nodded slowly, "I think I understand, and I am sorry if I added to your discomfort. I did not mean to intrude on your family night. I really don't know what came over me."  
  
"Intrude?" he eyes went wide, "You didn't intrude at all, God knows Case loved having you here. It's not often that Max is around to play with him, and he doesn't really have a male figure in his life other than him. He really does like you, and is REALLY excited about the project. No one's ever taken that much time to try to find out more about his talents, and it means a lot to him." She searched once more for his eyes, trying with all her might to see what was hidden there. Did he know who she was?  
  
Mamoru smiled. "You have a good kid Serena, you raised him well, and I can't imagine it was easy. I- I want to make this night up to you... I mean, you said there was a lot I didn't know and I want to... God this is so hard to say. Serena I- I like you. You remind me a lot of someone I used to know, you have a good heart and well... You see, I don't know if this will go anywhere, if I'm ready for it to, so I certainly don't want you to feel obligated in anyway... GOD this all coming out wrong!" he sighed finally, frustrated with himself. What was he trying to say?  
  
"Mamo-" she started.  
  
"Can I take you out to dinner?" he spat, not waiting for her to finish, or before he could change his mind.  
  
She gasped lightly, he wanted to go- go out with her? She could laugh, no, cry. God she could fly! But she couldn't, she knew she couldn't. She looked up into his face as she was about to turn him down, but the look in his eyes stunned her. He was nervous! He really wanted this! 'Oh Mamo-chan don't fall in love with me all over again!' she thought desperately, trying somehow to send him the thought, but his brows only creased at her silence.  
  
Would she be only hurting him more if she said no? The crystal inside her pocket became warm in accordance with her heart at the thought of spending time with him.  
  
"When?" a voice whispered softly and Usagi realized it was her own. However with the realization she refused to fight it this time. She would allow herself at least this much happiness, and then she'd be out of his life, for good.  
  
"Huh?" he asked dumbly, having expected rejection.  
  
"When do you want to go?" She asked again quietly.  
  
"You, you want to?" He stuttered, the corners of his lips tugging upward.  
  
Usagi giggled, and nodded. "But just to pay me back, I- don't know if I'm ready for a relationship yet either." She added quickly. Having a moment of happiness didn't mean she didn't have to be careful.  
  
Mamoru nodded abruptly, "Of course. So... how about Monday?" he asked, his heart dropping and singing all at once.  
  
She laughed and rubbed the back of her head nervously; "I have school in the morning and work that night."  
  
"Oh that's right... Um... Oh God I haven't done this in so long," he admitted, his hands shaking slightly as he let go of hers and pushed them through his already wrecked hair.  
  
"How about... Tomorrow? It's my night off, and I don't think Kate and Max have plans, even if they do, I'm sure I can find someone to watch Casey for me..."  
  
He grinned, "How's six sound?"  
  
"It sounds perfect."  
  
Mamoru suddenly leaned down and kissed her forehead, sending countless shivers down her spine. "Six it is then."  
  
With that he picked up his briefcase, tipped an imaginary hat to her, and went out the door, ginning like a fool the whole while.  
  
Usagi let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as she closed the door and slid down the back slowly, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as it hit her.  
  
She was going out with Mamo-chan!  
  
**********************  
  
SHE WAS GOING OUT WITH MAMORU!  
  
HIM! The one man who he had worked purposely to bring her away from and they were getting back together!  
  
Reduced to just a thought once more Demando could do no more than sulk, his hatred growing deeper by the minute. Everything he had worked so hard to put in place was now crumbling before his eyes and he could do nothing but watch.  
  
He could not even PROVOKE her, not until something pushed her to let him do so. No, he could only, and would only watch, and wait. That was his sole condolence. As long as she kept him alive there was a chance that he might claim her once more. But until then, he would just have to wallow in himself, and expand as far as he could without her.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Konban wa fan base! I just wanted to ask you all how you felt about this chapter in contrast with the others. I worked my ass off but I think it was worth it as this chapter explained a bunch. I know it all took place in one night, which is why I wanted an opinion on it. So just drop down that little menu to your left there and slip me a review!  
  
If ya thought this chapter was slow, I can only apologize and promise that chapter 8 will be much more... eventful. *Snicker*  
  
Luv ya!!  
  
Claidi (a.k.a. Idi-chan ^_^ glomps KTstar) 


	9. Chapter 8: Labors

HEY! I'm not dead! WOULD YA LOOK AT THAT?! SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry this chapter was SO incredibly late. My grades tanked cause of all the snow we've been having here in Virginy but the weather is finally looking good and my grades have gone up as well!  
  
Ere go, Chapter 8 ladies and gentlemen! ENJOY! It's my longest yet!  
  
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Love, Labors, Lost  
  
Chapter 8: Labors  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
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All of Virginia could have woken up at the sound of his slamming front door, but he honestly did not give a damn.  
  
Once inside, Mamoru kicked the door's base and was rewarded with another loud slam. His keys landed with a light jingle when he threw them half way across the room as he dug both hands into his midnight black hair and stumbled onto his couch.  
  
He clutched further as his hair and squeezed his eyes shut as what had just happened finally sunk in.  
  
He had finally admitted it. In asking Serena to dinner he had finally admitted the possibility that Usagi might really not be coming back.  
  
"Dammit!" he choked into the side of the couch. He had been so sure! He could have sworn on the graves of his mother and father that Serena was really Usagi. But no, she could not be, it was just his torn heart playing tricks on him again.  
  
But if that was so, then why did it feel so right to be with her? To hold her hands in his?  
  
He let out another exasperated sob, shaking his head violently, how would Usagi have a kid? They had not gone but so far in their relationship. He recalled a few occasions when their make-out sessions grew into a very... "hands on" activity, but even those times were few, and never had he let it go into his bedroom.  
  
That was another thing he cursed himself for. Even though he did not regret not taking her before she was ready, sometimes he could only help but think that had he been more open with her, more willing to talk, or... not talk as the occasion sometimes called for, that she would have told him what was wrong and not left. Or perhaps even that his aloof façade was the very reason for her departure.  
  
He groaned as the painful memories started to resurface themselves. What was he doing, asking Serena out like that? He certainly was not being very fair to her.  
  
Sighing, he turned over to pick up the phone to call her and cancel, when it began to ring. He creased his brows and picked up the receiver.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Mamoru-san?" a small voice croaked out on the other line.  
  
He smiled and relaxed his face, leaning back into the couch. "Rei."  
  
"Look Mamoru-san, I'm sorry I blew up at you the other day. You were right. I pushed the envelope, and I've felt terrible about it. I still stand by what I said, but I... I'm sorry if I hurt you." Realizing she was babbling she paused and bit her lip.  
  
He chuckled softly and shook his head, "It's all right Rei, actually, you'll never believe this but I ended up asking the kid's mom out." He heard her gasp and finished quickly, "but I'm starting to think it wasn't such a good idea. I was about to call and cancel when you rang."  
  
"Chiba Mamoru, you cad! Canceling on a date? That is not like you at all! Don't you dare do that to that poor girl!"  
  
"Rei..." He drawled a warning and she bit her lip once again.  
  
"Sorry." She sighed, "I'm sorry Mamoru, but tell me why you'd want to cancel! No, no, no, wait, first tell me, what made you ask her out?"  
  
She could almost see him as he closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose in thought. "I don't know, there's just something... I like being around her. She's sweet, and fun, a bit sarcastic at times... Has a heart the size of Texas."  
  
"Texas?" Rei asked, rolling the foreign word around on her tongue.  
  
Mamoru laughed, "It's a very large state in America."  
  
"Oh. Well she seems great Mo-chan, but... doesn't she... I mean... She sounds..." Rei struggled to find the right word and not offend Mamoru at the same time.  
  
"Like Usako? Yeah I know. That's the problem, I don't want to be going out with her because she reminds me of my ex." He cringed at calling Usagi an "ex" but there was no other way really to put it.  
  
Rei smiled, an idea forming in her quick mind, "Hey, Mamoru... What's her name?"  
  
"Serena." He replied simply.  
  
"Serena, What?" Rei snapped impatiently.  
  
"Serena... Dammit I can never remember her last name. What are thinking of anyway?" he asked cautiously.  
  
Rei bit her lip; she did not think it would go over well if she told him that she planned to do a fire reading on her. "Just curious, you can tell a lot about a person by their name."  
  
Mamoru opened up his school laptop. "Here, let me check, I just have to find my attendance roll. Here we go. Oh! That's right, Casey Tsukino. So Serena Tsukino."  
  
A chill shot down Rei's spine when she heard the name. But just as quickly as the name flew across her brain, it was slowly starting to fade. However Rei gritted her teeth and reached out with the invisible hands of her mind to bring it back. She hated when people played head games with her, she had neither the time, nor the patience for them, and they were usually nothing but trouble.  
  
She ignored Mamoru's concerned voice distantly sounding on the other line, took a deep breath and concentrated all her energy onto the name. Suddenly, her mind's outstretched hands caught it, and it snapped its proverbial fingers, her eyes snapped open. She knew that name!  
  
"Mamoru!" she cried into the receiver, clutching it with both hands. Gods how could she have been so blind? It all made sense now. Her vision, the name, Mamoru's job placement... It was all falling into place.  
  
"Mamoru! Open your eyes, see what is hidden, stop searching for what you have already found!" She had to fight to keep her voice level as she repeated the chant in his ear. "Open your eyes, Mamoru." She whispered once more.  
  
As quick as lightning, images flashed in Mamoru's mind and it obeyed the spell being chanted to it by the fire priestess. It was as if someone had come and simply turned the last piece of a puzzle, a piece he had been trying to place into a slot where he knew it belonged but simply would not fit. It needed only be turned upside down, and it slid easily into its space, the puzzle was solved.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Usagi woke, her head swimming. She tried to open her eyes, but it was to no avail, as she could not see anymore than she could with them closed.  
  
She groaned and grabbed her head, forcing herself to sit up on the... Bed? It felt like one. God she felt as if she had taken a two by four to the head.  
  
"So you've awoken." A cool voice drawled, sending shivers down her spine. She knew that voice.  
  
"Demando-sama?" She asked, using the term of reverence on automatic. But there was no answer.  
  
"What happened? Where am I?" Still no answer. She heard a faint 'click'. The room was suddenly filled with just enough light to see by, and although it was not much, it was enough to make her squint and add to the pounding in her head.  
  
She looked around, but shadows still filled the corners of the large room and the man who she assumed to be Demando was nowhere to be seen. Then she saw something stir out of the corner of her eye, and seconds after she saw it, a light shown down on the spot to reveal her captor.  
  
It was Prince Demando sure enough. He was sitting, head resting casually on his propped up right hand, a glass half filled with red wine held in the other.  
  
He looked her up and down before taking another sip of his wine. "The dress fits you nicely. You should know that I had it specially tailored to your measurements."  
  
She furrowed her brows. He was making no sense. She shook her head and questioned him again, using her most commanding sailor senshi voice. "Where are we? What do you want with me?"  
  
He sighed exasperatedly, as if he had already explained this to her several times and she was asking him again. "I had to take you someplace where we'd have some privacy. We are in my Black Spiral Citadel."  
  
Privacy... Who else had asked for that? KING ENDYMION! Of course! The memories came flooding back in an instant. Neo Queen Serenity, King Endymion, Chibi-Usa, they were her, and her future family. Endymion had taken them to a secret control room... Endymion had said no one knew about it.  
  
Usagi's eyes narrowed, "How did you find me?"  
  
Demando laughed and set down his wine glass. "Endymion was a fool to think I did not know about that place... I know not what he trying to accomplish by hiding. Prolonging the inevitable I suppose."  
  
Usagi tried to gather her thoughts, understand what he was saying, but her head was so light, and yet so heavy. "What have you done to me?" She bit.  
  
He picked up his wine glass and took another sip. "Oh, yes. You've received your first energy surge from the Dark Crystal. It'll feel..." He blinked and looked at his glass, raising it up for her to see, "as if you've consumed quite a bit of wine." He set the glass down, for good this time and lifted himself up from his chair, stumbling a bit as he stood finally.  
  
Her eyes widened with realization as he began to move towards the bed, "You're drunk!" She stated incredulously.  
  
"So it would seem, yes. But don't worry, it impairs my judgment not." He smiled wickedly, "I've been planning this for quite some time, not even alcohol can persuade me otherwise."  
  
She raised her head indignantly, trying to keep her voice steady even as Demando began to slide up to her from the edge of the bed, "Mamo-chan will find me. He-"  
  
"Mamo-chan?" Demando asked, brows drawn together in question, then relaxed as recognition dawned. "Oh yes, Endymion. He IS quite a nuisance, and he will no doubt come for you eventually. But worry not my little Serenity, that will not be for quite sometime, and when he does come, I will be ready for him."  
  
Usagi shot her head to look down at her calf where he had suddenly griped it. She looked back up to Demando and tried to pull away. "Get off of me!" She commanded and wriggled against his hand, but it served no good in freeing her, he only gripped her other leg.  
  
The effects of the Dark Crystal were starting to wear off, but in their place came something worse. Fear.  
  
As Demando began to slide his hands higher, Usagi tried to kick harder, but before she could get a direct hit, his hands had moved to her wrists, and now held them firmly on either side of her head.  
  
"Demando STOP!" she screamed. She moved against his body, trying to free herself from his steel grip. When he did not budge she screamed again.  
  
"MAMO-CHAN!"  
  
*SLAP!*  
  
She ceased all movement as he hit her, except to slowly turn and stare into his eyes, those cold, dark, unfeeling eyes. Ice.  
  
Her lower lip started to tremble as he re-encased her wrist with the hand that had just struck her face. "Demando, what are you doing?" She whimpered, too scared to hide the way it showed in her voice, and a sickly feeling formed in the pit of her stomach as she realized the answer before he could speak. She glanced towards the windows high above her head, and thought she saw the swirl of a cape, but when she blinked it was gone; only an apparition supplied by a desperate mind.  
  
Every outside sound went dead as her ears began to ring and fear consumed her body, paralyzing her. She began to shut down, make herself numb to any feeling, and it was starting to work, but a sharp squeeze at her wrists and a growl from Demando brought her back, fully aware of her pain and fear. He would not even allow her the serenity of absence of mind; she would feel it, every blow.  
  
"Look at me!" He yelled, and her body obeyed.  
  
He stared down at her, into her soul, with those eyes of ice. He had kept the promise he made to her that night at the crafts school. It was one thousand years later, and he was seeing her.  
  
"You are mine." He told her. "No one else's." He leaned down, pressing the length of his body against hers and licked her ear, the Black Moon on his forehead turning sideways and into a third eye. He lifted himself back up and looked down at her, focusing his energy into her. Usagi's eyes became hallow as his hypnotic powers took her. Demando smiled and bent down to whisper in her ear once more, "You are mine."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You are mine." The voice echoed in her head as the memory faded and slipped down into her soul where it would linger for another, darker time.  
  
Usagi blinked and turned back to the mirror on her vanity, resuming the task of lightly applying some shimmer dust to her slightly darkened eyes. But with a touch of light pink gloss to her lips, she was already having to push down the doubts in her mind again. It was not easy, but just for that night she wanted to be held in his arms again. She wanted to be surrounded by the loving atmosphere that they had shared so many years ago one more time before she severed all ties to him. Just for tonight she would be selfish, and she would say good-bye to him properly, if a bit vaguely, the way she should have done five years ago.  
  
She knew he still loved her, but was glad and heart-broken all at once that he was ready to start dating other girls. Even if the other girl was she, he did not know it, and Usagi wanted to keep it that way. She did not want him to know the horrible things she had gone through. Things that had turned her into a far different person then the girl he used to know and love. She wanted him to remember her only as Usagi, the carefree, loving, innocent, naïve girl she once was. Not as Serena, the premature woman he had met a few weeks ago. Because Usagi knew that if Mamoru found out what she had done, how she had just left him, she knew he would never forgive her.  
  
It was all that horrible man's fault. Demando. If it were not for him, Usagi would not be having this dilemma right now. She would probably be going out with Mamoru to the crown arcade tonight, or chatting the phone with her friends. If he had not come in and ruined her whole life, she would never have had to leave them and a life she loved, behind.  
  
She might say it was she who left them, say she blamed herself, but deep in her heart, she blamed him. All of it was on him.  
  
As she thought it, the terrible coldness she'd felt with the memory of that night, returned. But she ignored it for what it was and got up to close the window.  
  
She returned to her vanity and sat down to face her bed, staring down at the beautiful sparkling blue dress she had bought with Molly that morning. She smiled as her fingers traced the fabric, remembering the look on Molly's face when she told her she was going out on a date, much less on one that required a nice dress.  
  
Mamoru had called her that morning and told her... Actually he told her nothing. Nothing except that he'd be there at six, as planned, and to wear something formal. She had protested of course, not wanting to add to her already mounding guilt, but he had insisted. When she asked where, he had only laughed with a, "Wait and see". That damn man had always been way too cryptic.  
  
There was a gentle rapping on the door as Kate leaned her head inside, chestnut curls falling from where her head was tilted to the side. "Can I come in?" She asked sweetly as Usagi giggled and nodded, motioning her in with her hand.  
  
Kate tiptoed in playfully and shut the door behind her, softly paddling her way to sit on Usagi's bed. "So you're going out with your old boyfriend, Mamoru, huh?" She asked softly.  
  
Usagi whirled around to face her, eyes wide. Kate gave her the knowing smile she was famous for and patted the bed spot next to her, telling Usagi to sit. She did so and waited in wonder to find out how Kate knew about this one.  
  
Kate chuckled when she saw Usagi's disbelieving look and shook her head, "Honey, you should know by now that I'm watching you a lot more than you think. I saw the way you primped before opening the door to let that man in last night, and I saw your heated gaze on him when he wasn't looking." Usagi blushed noticeably and looked away.  
  
"And," Kate continued, "I remembered his face from a picture I've seen of your two. Hey! Don't look so shocked! He's a very good looking man, it'd be hard not to forget a face like that." She laughed as Usagi continued to stare at her in shock, even as she nodded her head in agreement.  
  
Kate shifted and raised a brow, "Only thing is, how in the world could he not remember someone as amazing as you?" She paused for a moment before adding, "Or maybe the more important question is why won't you let him see you for who you really are?"  
  
Usagi looked down at her slippers, shameful that she would never be able to tell her dear friend everything about her life. "I left him, Kate." She began to explain, knowing that Kate already knew what she was about to say. "How in the world can I face him after what I did to him? I didn't betray him with another man; I know that now, but... I did leave him. *I* left him Kate. I left my whole family, all my friends... It's better this way, he doesn't recognize me, so it's better that he just know me as Serena. If he found out who I really was, he would never forgive me."  
  
Kate placed a warm arm around Usagi's shoulders and rubbed her forearm, causing the fabric of her bathrobe to slide up and down against her skin. It was the same gesture she'd made when Usagi had finally told them the truth about Keisuke's father, or rather, sperm-donor, as Kate preferred to call him. She kissed the younger woman's temple lightly before taking her hands and standing up to face her.  
  
"How do you know whether or not he would forgive you, if you never give him a chance?"  
  
Usagi stared up at her in wonder as Kate let go of her hands and turned to leave. She paused at the doorway, and turned around for a brief moment, "If there really isn't any hope for you two, then why are you going on this date Usagi? Ask yourself that."  
  
Usagi could do nothing but stand and continue to stare, dumbfounded, unable to supply an answer for the questions given.  
  
"I wouldn't just stand there, Serena, he's going to be here in half in hour!" Kate called finally before disappearing down the hallway.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mamoru stared, open mouthed as the Anderson's door opened to reveal a vision before him.  
  
Her hair was done up in a mass of curls atop her head, and two loose tendrils elegantly framed her soft features. A string of pearls and diamonds donned her long neck, and matching diamond and pearl teardrops hung from her ears.  
  
Her dress came down to her ankles, below which black-strapped sandals curved around her feet. The dress sparkled a dark blue and a black velvet lace design curved around the length of her body, two modest slits sliding up just below her knees on each side.  
  
He looked appreciative of the way the strapless, stretchy material hugged her hourglass form, and for the first time since he was born, Usagi thanked Keisuke for the hips he had given her while in the womb.  
  
"Wow." He stated as continued to stare at her, unwilling to blink for fear that she would disappear.  
  
She giggled, "Done sizing me up?" Usagi joked, but her heart was beating hard and loud as she glanced over his form, drinking in the sight of him like a woman lost in a desert would drink up water.  
  
His ebony hair was gelled slightly, but some strands had escaped and now hung over his forehead. He wore his trademark tuxedo, but Usagi swore that no matter how many times she saw him in it, he only succeeded in looking sexier the next. Age had done his form good, as he seemed to fill the suit more completely than the last time she saw him in it, not that she noticed then.  
  
He coughed, embarrassed at being caught staring at her, "I- I wasn't- I mean..." He gave up, frustrated with himself for acting like such a fool. He had run this moment over in his mind more times than she would ever know, and yet here he was carrying on like a blubbering teenager. "Here." He said finally, bringing out a hand, which he had hidden behind his back until then.  
  
She gasped when she saw the bouquet of roses he held out for her, and it was everything she could do to not just throw herself at him, pour her soul out and cry till kingdom come.  
  
Instead she took them from him, her arm shaking a bit as she did so. "Th- Thank you," she whispered and smelled them appreciatively. "Red roses... How did you know?"  
  
He grinned and winked at her, "I had a hunch."  
  
She bit her cheek cautiously, his knowing tone making her slightly uncomfortable, but she shook it off instantly. Lots of girls liked red roses, and it was his favorite kind too, nothing to freak out over, she told herself.  
  
Usagi's ears perked up when she heard the soft pitter patter of feet behind her, and realized they were being watched.  
  
Shaking her feelings of unease aside with the shaking of her head she stepped out of the doorway and held out her hand to the inside of her house. "I just have to get some things in order for Case, can you wait in the living room for a few minutes?"  
  
His grin broadened as he nodded and stepped into the doorway, his body suddenly coming into close proximity to hers.  
  
She closed her eyes for a fleeting second and breathed in the sent of his cologne, indulging in his closeness.  
  
"Usa..." he breathed as she swayed unconsciously towards him.  
  
Her eyes flew open, "What did you say?" she gasped almost inaudibly as she searched his eyes.  
  
He smiled friendly and shook his head, "Nothing. You want me to put those into some water for you?" He asked looking down at his flowers in her hand.  
  
She raised a brow at him, but decided again that she was just hearing things and nodded, handing him back the bouquet. "Yes, please."  
  
They parted and she let out a breath she did not know she was holding. She heard giggling as she entered the kitchen and turned around to find her son was fallowing her.  
  
"Keisuke Endymion Tsukino!" She hissed at him, putting both hands onto her hips, but smiled to lighten the effect. She had forgotten he was watching them.  
  
He smiled back at her. "You look real pretty Mama." He complemented sheepishly, his smile broadening to a toothy grin.  
  
"OHH no you don't. What have I told you about flattery?" she asked, wagging a finger at him.  
  
"That it'll get you everywhere." He replied slickly.  
  
"That's rig- Hey! I never taught you that!" she gasped as he giggled, only this time a deeper chuckle accompanied him.  
  
She turned around to face Mamoru, grinning devilishly down at her. Her son ran into his open arms and he scooped him up.  
  
Usagi tried to frown but she could not help the corners of her lips from tugging upward as she kept her indignant stance towards them. "Mr. Chiba!" She scolded. "You are ONLY supposed to be working with him on SCIENCE!"  
  
Mamoru laughed as Keisuke slid down his form and hugged his leg. "But my dear, women ARE a science."  
  
"OHH!" She mock fumed, shooing both of them towards the living room with her hands. "Both of you go wait in there while I write down these numbers for Kate and Max!"  
  
The both pouted and she could only laugh at the picture they made as they turned and trudged into the next room, Keisuke mirroring Mamoru's slumped form perfectly.  
  
Once they were out of sight, Usagi's happy smile changed to a sad one. He really would have made a wonderful father.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mamoru sat down on the couch and arched a brow as Keisuke sat down next to him and glared at him purposely. "Whatcha need kido?"  
  
"Mr. Chiba, I like you lots OK? And Mama does too... I can tell." Keisuke bit his lip, as if contemplating something, and finally scooted in closer to his teacher. Mamoru took the hint and leaned down so Keisuke could whisper in his ear.  
  
"I know you knew Mama back in Japan, and I know you make her smile. I haven't seen Mama smile like that in, well... never, and I don't want to see her STOP smiling like that." He paused and Mamoru looked down into the boy's light blue eyes.  
  
Something flashed in his mind, an image of those same eyes, however hatred and ice cool calculation replaced the innocence and love that Casey's held.  
  
But his pupil's voice cleared the image from his mind, and his own eyes refocused on him. "You won't let her stop smiling, will you, Mr. Chiba?"  
  
Mamoru smiled, knowing exactly what the bright little boy was implying. He looked up to see Usagi walk over to the small table by the door, turning on her cell phone and placing her pager into the purse that was lying there. She was so beautiful and did not even know it.  
  
He looked back to Keisuke and picked up both his tiny hands, blanketing them completely with his large ones. "I promise you, Casey, I won't let your mama stop smiling."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ok, so this number is for my cell, if for some strange reason my cell isn't working, this one's for my pager. If you can't reach me on either of those, this is Mamoru's cell and pager-"  
  
"Serena!"  
  
She looked up at Max and bit her lip at the chiding look he gave her.  
  
"We'll be fine!" He assured her, placing his hands on her bare shoulders for emphasis. "You just go and have a good time all right?"  
  
She sighed and nodded, handing Max the piece of paper on which she had written about six different numbers.  
  
Kate bent down and kissed her cheek. "You two have fun, OK?"  
  
Usagi nodded as she bent down to her son's level and mussed up his hair, "You be good now! I know that's an AWFULLY hard thing for you to do, but try all right?" She teased him.  
  
He laughed and hugged her neck, "I will Mama, I promise. I love you."  
  
She beamed at him as she released him and rose to face Mamoru.  
  
He smiled at her and offered her his arm in a playful but gentlemanly gesture. "Ready?"  
  
She laughed and took it. "Ready!" she affirmed.  
  
With a few more last minute kisses and good-byes they were out the door and on their way to his car. She smiled when she recognized it as his old red convertible.  
  
"God, you'd think I was on my way to prom, or going on a vacation or something the way they carried on!"  
  
He laughed as he opened the passenger car door for her and raised playful eyebrows, "Them? They weren't the ones giving out fifty numbers!" He exclaimed, sliding into the drivers seat and shutting the door.  
  
"Well I'M sorry, but this is the first time I've been anywhere but school or work this late." She admitted.  
  
He started the car and put it in reverse, glancing over at her before placing a hand on the back of her seat to look behind him as he backed out of the Anderson's driveway.  
  
"You mean to tell me that you've never gone out before?" He asked when they were finally on the road.  
  
She shook her head, "No, not really. Maybe a couple times with Molly, out to go see a movie or something last year. But other than that I really don't have anywhere to go, or anything to do other than take care of my kid. If you haven't noticed Virginia isn't exactly jam-packed with fun filled places to go." She scrunched her brows, "Which reminds me, where are we going tonight?'  
  
"You have Kate and Max to look after Keisuke though," he reasoned, ignoring her question. "You could have gone out a lot more than most singles moms can."  
  
She shrugged, the fact that he had not answered not unnoticed to her, but she decided to let him have it his way. "Well yes, and I am grateful to them for being able to be there when I can't, but I wanted that time to be minimized only to when I had to be gone for school or work. I don't know, I guess I just don't want someone else raising my kid, you know what I mean? I don't want to take advantage of the fact that I have someone to watch after him to an extent that I ignore my duty as a parent."  
  
He glanced over at her, his sensuous lips curved upward. She fidgeted with her blue strap of her purse under his glare. "If you think that's silly then..."  
  
"Silly?" He choked out in disbelief. "U- Serena, that's one of the most responsible things I've ever heard from a single mom in my life! Do you know how many women in your position would abuse it? I think the choices you've made are very respectable ones." He finished, grateful that she did not seem to notice his slip up.  
  
"If you only knew..." Usagi sighed as she glanced out the window. However she could not help but feel happy, content. Talking to him about her life, her thoughts... Hell just TALKING to him was bliss. A month ago conversations like these were only a wish, a fantasy she would play out in her head as she clung to her pillow, alone in the middle of the night.  
  
"By the way, I really do think you look wonderful." He added huskily as she turned to and from him, a crimson blush staining her cheeks at his random compliment.  
  
"You don't look so bad yourself." She replied.  
  
She felt him stop the car and park it, taking his keys out of the ignition. He turned to her and grinned, "We're here."  
  
She looked to where he motioned his head and gasped, whirling back around to face him, but he had already gotten out and was rounding the car to open her door for her.  
  
"Mamoru, you... I can't... This is too much!" she tried to explain as she felt the guilt build up in her chest again.  
  
He smiled once more and opened the car door, taking her gloved hand in his. "Nonsense, it's the least I can do. After all, you are helping me earn my degree in medical science, no?"  
  
She shook her head, protesting even as he strung his arm through hers and the entrance doors were opened for them. "Mamoru, do you know how much this place..."  
  
"Serena, I am fully aware of the expenses. Just relax! Haven't you always wanted to come here?"  
  
She narrowed her brows, "How did you..." But before she could finish her sentence they were greeted by a tuxedoed matradee.  
  
"Sir, Ma'am. Welcome to the Jefferson. What name are your reservations under, please?" He looked to Mamoru expectantly.  
  
"Chiba, table for two."  
  
The man looked over his list and smiled when he found the name given. "Ah, yes. Right this way Mr. Chiba, Miss." He said, acknowledging them both before leading them to a table not far from the grand staircase.  
  
He moved to pull out Usagi's chair for her but Mamoru beat him to it. She blushed at all the fuss being made just over her; she was starting to feel like a real lady. This was even better than the masquerade she attended with Rei and Ami, especially since this time she could actually enjoy herself, she hoped.  
  
Once they were both seated, the matradee explained that their waiter would be with them momentarily, bowed, and left.  
  
Usagi merely sat there for a moment taking in the sights and sounds of the Jefferson Hotel. It was the one place in Virginia she had always wanted to go every time she had come to America with her family, and the one place they had never been able to afford. True, it was not especially fancy or elegant as far as restaurants went, but that was not the reason for its appeal to Usagi. This was the place where her parents had met, and then later, where they had their honeymoon. It was, as Usagi found out somewhat against her will, the place where she had been conceived.  
  
Mamoru watched her for a moment as she gazed in content wonder at her surroundings. The light from the candle in between them flickered off and on her face, making her look like a sort of mysterious spirit, trying to find her way. Loneliness and uncertainty lost to happiness and fulfillment just for that brief moment. Yet one question kept pounding its way through his heart and mind: What was she doing here? He only prayed with all his might that the answer he had come up with was the answer he would hear when he asked that question.  
  
"Mamoru?"  
  
"Hmm?" He murmured.  
  
Usagi let out a small giggle, "The waiter wants to know what you want for an appetizer."  
  
He blinked and looked to his right at the waiter standing somewhat awkwardly next to him. "So he does." Mamoru chuckled before ordering an onion soup and a club soda.  
  
The waiter nodded, "And you, Miss?" he asked.  
  
"I'll have your crab legs and a Bloody Mary," Usagi stated closing her menu and looking up to smile at him. "Non-alcoholic."  
  
The waiter took their menus, bowed, and left. Mamoru turned to Usagi, "A non-alcoholic Bloody Mary huh?"  
  
She laughed and shrugged; "I'm underage!" she defended herself.  
  
He drew brow together in question. "Is the drinking age different in the States?"  
  
Usagi gave him a blank look before remembering that the drinking age in Japan was indeed lower than in America. "Mamoru, the drinking age here is twenty-one." She laughed at his surprised expression and shook her head, "But I wouldn't drink even if I could."  
  
Mamoru leaned forward, "No?"  
  
She shook her head, but suddenly gripped the table, a familiar scene flashing by her eyes.  
  
*"You're drunk!" Usagi stated incredulously.  
  
"So it would seem, yes. But don't worry, it impairs my judgment not." He smiled wickedly, "I've been planning this for quite some time, not even alcohol can persuade me otherwise."*  
  
"Serena?" Mamoru asked again when she did not respond the first time her called her name.  
  
Her eyes flew to his, "Hmm?"  
  
"Are... Are you OK?" He asked worriedly.  
  
She blinked, trying desperately to shrug off the memory. "Yes of course. Why wouldn't I be?" she responded a bit too quickly.  
  
He raised a brow, "Well for one thing, your clutching your napkin so hard your knuckles are white."  
  
She looked down to see he was right. Usagi sighed and released the white fabric, smoothing it out over her lap as the waiter returned with their drinks and appetizers.  
  
"I'm sorry Mamoru," Usagi sighed and put down the fork she had raised. "I- I can't accept this. It's all too nice for -"  
  
Mamoru set down his own utensils and looked at her earnestly, "Too nice for what Serena? Too nice for you?"  
  
She looked away and he sighed. He knew this was not going to be easy, but for different reasons. She had certainly changed a lot over the past five years. Back then she would have gladly accepted something like this, but now...  
  
"Mamoru, if you only knew all the things I've done... The mistakes I've made..." She began to fidget with her napkin once more but he reached across the table and took her hands in his, forcing her to cease her nervous gesture.  
  
"We've all made mistakes. You shouldn't feel like you don't deserve nice treatment, or things because of bad choices you've made!" He lifted her chin with two fingers so his eyes had access to hers, "I want to know about you. Everything about you. Mistakes and all, I want the whole package! We'll compare, I'll take notes!"  
  
She smiled and he rubbed his thumbs over hers, leaning in like Keisuke had done with him earlier that night, as if he was telling a very important secret. "Here's the deal, I promised your kid I'd make you smile tonight, and so I promised myself that too. Of course, being the arrogant jerk I am, I didn't believe it, but I was very convincing, and in the end I finally won."  
  
Usagi laughed out loud now, "You're making absolutely no sense you know that?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, but you're smiling, so I must have done something right. So what do you say? You think we can maybe talk now?"  
  
Usagi bit her lip, acting unsure. "I don't know that's a big step!"  
  
Mamoru just laughed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Now Mamoru had to set down his fork he was laughing so hard. He leaned back and tried desperately to wipe the tears away from his eyes. "You can't expect me to believe that." He exclaimed.  
  
Usagi took a sip of her water and nodded her head earnestly, "I swear! I mean I love my baby, and he IS a genius in math and science and such, but when it comes to English?" She shook her head and set down her glass, leaning back to relax, but before her back even reached the chair she leaned forward once more, another memory hitting her. Mamoru chucked at her enthusiasm.  
  
"Oh! I got a better one! So we're in KB Toys right? And Kate picks up this 'Doctor Ken' doll. Well, Max comes over and thinks he's out of our earshot and says to Kate, in his most seductive voice, "You wanna play 'doctor' later tonight?" Well Kate's usually a very proper lady in public, but I swear those two can insult each other FOREVER if you get them going. So she puts both her hands on her hips and says, "Yeah, RIGHT. I'd rather play with 'Doctor Ken' here. I bet he knows more about anatomy than you!" WELL, CASEY turns around, looks Kate straight in the eye and he says, serious as can be, "Ken doesn't have an anatomy, he's ambidextrous!""  
  
Mamoru let out an uproarious laugh, earning a few disapproving looks from the elderly couple near by, but he did not care in the least. He was spending time with Usako, to hell with the rest of the world. "That son of yours is something else!" he exclaimed.  
  
Usagi smiled, "I know, it's about time someone else noticed it too."  
  
He raised a brow in inquiry and took a final sip of his soda, watching in amusement as the nearest waiter hurried over to re-fill it. "How so?"  
  
She sighed. "All his life, people have viewed Casey as some sort of freak. I mean he's smart, he gets good grades, he's in a good school, but he never fits IN anywhere. Genius is looked at with a wary eye, especially in young children, but even more so in Casey's case.  
  
"You see, the way it's been presented to me is that most children as bright as he are either a - sent of to some government agency to be studied, b - are really snotty or stuck up and go to really fancy schools with horses, or c - are just plain crazy. Casey isn't any of these things. He's funny and loveable, and most of the time, he acts like any other four-year old. At his old day care the kids his age rejected him for all the special treatment he got. SO, we moved him to CCSG, but he's SO advanced, even there, that they had to put him in classes with kids many years older than he. Of course, kids being kids, he got teased there too. He seems to be doing OK this year now that we finally found him a set of classes with kids his own age, but it's only been a few weeks since school started, so there's really no way to tell yet."  
  
Mamoru shook his head, "Now, having worked with especially smart children, I have to disagree with you on your ABC list. I know plenty of kids who are extremely bright and are still some of the sweetest kids in the world. HOWEVER, I understand completely about Casey. Most of these kids, their genius isn't realized until they hit kindergarten at the earliest, that's a major reason why I chose Casey for my project."  
  
Usagi gave a soft laugh in agreement, looking away as another thought struck her, "I worry about him sometimes, well I worry about him all the time, it's my job, but especially about how sweet he is. He's just so loving and kind, I don't think I'll ever know how that is after everything we've gone through. I worry that it's just a façade, one that hides how much he's really been hurt."  
  
She looked to Mamoru with watery eyes, "You have no idea the horrible things people have said to him. I wished for the longest time that he had been born deaf, just because it would shield him from their hateful words. I guess I can be a little TOO over protective sometimes. Kate and Max had to practically pry him from my arms on his first day of Day Care two years ago."  
  
Mamoru drew his brows together in confusion, "What reason would people have to say those things? What KIND of things?"  
  
Usagi shook her head and began to fiddle with her napkin, as had become her custom when she was nervous or upset. "You're a good man Mamoru, you're the kind of person that doesn't judge until they know the whole story, and even then you leave the subject on the floor and open for discussion."  
  
He chuckled and raised a brow, "What are you on the debate team or something?"  
  
She smiled and shook her head, "No, I want to be a lawyer, but... I don't know if I can see that happening anytime soon. Maybe... Once Case is in High School."  
  
Mamoru looked at her incredulously, "That's in ten years! Ten years is an awfully long time."  
  
Usagi nodded, "I know, but I don't think a law firm would even consider me until then."  
  
"And why would that be? You told me earlier that you get good grades!"  
  
She turned to him and let out a cynical laugh, "The same reason why people don't appreciate Casey, and the same reason I couldn't find a job and had to move in with Kate and Max; Casey is a bastard child, he's brilliant which is odd offspring for a supposed 'whore' like me to have, and to top it all off, I'm nineteen, he's four, you do the math." She threw down her napkin onto the table, the world never ceased to disgust her.  
  
He narrowed his eyes, as if to study her and shook his head in disbelief. "What happened to you?"  
  
She whirled around to face him, her eyes wild, "Haven't you been listening to me for the past ten minutes?" She exclaimed, suddenly realizing just how big the rift between them really was, not noticing that what he had said implied that he knew her previously. She shook her head and blinked back the tears. She should never have come here tonight; she should have realized that it would end badly. She should have known that he wouldn't understand.  
  
"I told you so..." A cool voice curled it's way around her thoughts, but lingered even as she tried to push it away, like the itching water ice leaves behind after its been trailed across warm skin.  
  
"Not listening!" She hissed, trying to get the voice to go away, not realizing she had spoken out loud.  
  
Mamoru shook his head in protest, "I HAVE been listening, it's just-"  
  
His voice was lost behind the ice, "He's making excuses, he never loved you. Look at him. He's on a date with who he thinks is another woman! He's forgotten all about you. They've all forgotten you. They WANTED to forget you. They hate you."  
  
"Shut UP!" she yelled and grabbed her head in an attempt to block the hurtful words, not realizing she was trapping them in, leaving the rest of the world shut out.  
  
Mamoru's face contorted into a look of confusion. "Serena, are you all right?"  
  
"Look at him," the icy words burned into her heart, "He thinks you're crazy! To think you trusted him, to think you thought he still loved you! What would he say if he found out who you were, and saw that you had a child by another man? What would he think of you then?"  
  
"That wasn't my fault!" she cried desperately, still clutching her head.  
  
"Serena, please listen to me-!" He ran over to her and put his arms on her shoulders, "What, is, wrong?!" He asked again, clearly pronouncing each word forcefully and separately.  
  
"They all hate me!"  
  
"Who hates you?"  
  
"It was all his fault! I didn't do anything wrong!"  
  
"Whose fault?"  
  
"He still loves me, I know he does!"  
  
"Who?!"  
  
"MAMO-CHAN!" She screamed finally, her azure eyes flying open to clash with his shocked sapphires.  
  
She backed away from him slowly, putting a hand to her mouth in horror. She looked around the room desperately to find that every eye was turned to her. She swallowed; the saliva ran hard and burning down her throat.  
  
Mamoru began to rise slowly from his kneeling position on the floor. "It's OK, Usako," he whispered firmly, reaching out his hand for her to take.  
  
Her eyes went wide at the name and she tried her best to bite down the tears. "Excuse me please!" She choked out, and fled from the room.  
  
Mamoru cursed and ran after her, thanking God he had a tab there as he pushed through the still swinging doors.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Usagi kicked off her heels and ran as fast as she could, which was quite fast with the aid of the Silver Crystal in her purse, towards her home. Normally Mamoru would have caught up with her by now, but she had taken a short cut through the trees and was well on her way home.  
  
She was a fool to think the night would work out. To think that she could actually be with the man she loved one more time. Her life just did not work that way, and she should have known that by now.  
  
She emerged from the trees onto the road that would lead her home. Her pace slowed from a run to a jog, and finally to a slow trudge down the concrete sliver of road. A few tears slipped from her face as she realized that he really was gone for good. No more 'one more times' or final goodbyes, that was it, and she'd left him worse than she had the first time.  
  
She winced as she heard the siren of an ambulance a ways behind her and moved off to the side, covering her ears as it speed down the road she was on.  
  
Usagi watched it go down the road after it passed her, probably doing about 30 miles past the speed limit, and spoke a small prayer for whomever it was they were rushing off to aid. But even as she spoke the Amen, something did not seem quite right. It was as if... As if someone had walked over her grave. She had never felt that particular feeling before, but was pretty sure she was feeling it now.  
  
She resumed walking, keeping her eyes on it, until it turned right, and she froze, dead in her tracks. A right. A right on Courthouse road. A right on Courthouse road led to... her house.  
  
Usagi's heart jumped into her throat and was now banging in her ears as she ran the rest of the way down Courthouse Road. She was moving faster than she ever had as Sailor Moon and yet it felt like she was running through molasses. Too slowly the world was moving, and she could swear she could feel the earth rotate once before she finally reached the place where the ambulance had swerved right.  
  
Even though the siren had stopped, the flickering blue and red lights were impossible to miss through the mass of trees that lived behind her house.  
  
She ran through them, the scrapes the whip lashing branches made on her skin unnoticed to her as she rushed towards the nearest uniform, gripping his arm frantically.  
  
The officer whirled around and shook his head, "Sorry Miss, but I'm afraid you can't be here, this is a crime-"  
  
"Crime?" She asked, her voice cracking as she raised her brows at him, holding desperately onto his arm for support.  
  
The young officer tried to pry away her arm, "I'm sorry miss but-"  
  
Usagi's head snapped to the left as she saw a stretcher being carefully moved from her house into a waiting ambulance, a mass of burette curls hung off one side.  
  
"KATE!" She screamed, shoving away the flustering officer when he tried to grip her arm.  
  
She reached the stretcher, moving quickly beside it, and looked into her former fosterer and dear friend's sad emerald eyes, as they grew wide at the sight of her.  
  
"Serena!" Kate tried to sit up, but strong straps bound her down to the stretcher.  
  
"Shh! Shh! It's OK Kate, just, just don't move...!" Usagi swallowed and blinked, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay, "Oh God, Kate, what happened?"  
  
"I'm so s-sorry Serena, Honey." Kate stuttered, her voice just above a whisper. "We tried to hide him, Max- Oh God!" She paused, sobbing a moment before forcing herself to continue.  
  
"Max was so brave, you should have seen him! He fought until he passed out from the--- from the pain..." Her eyes were haunting, as she reached up to wipe the tears from Usagi's eyes.  
  
"Kate, please! Don't talk, just rest! Just-" Usagi pleaded, her burning tears dropping onto Kate's blood-stained shirt.  
  
"NO!" Kate yelled forcefully, pausing to bite her lip from the pain. "I'm sorry Serena, we tried so hard, but he was just too strong!"  
  
Usagi shook her head in confusion, "Tried hard? Who was too strong?! WHO DID THIS TO YOU AND-" Her sobs fell away and she stopped running as the paramedics lifted Kate into the ambulance.  
  
The last thing she heard was Kate's desperate, shrieking, haunted plea through the closing doors of the large vehicle, "Please forgive us Serena! He took Casey! Casey's gone!" Her world spun, and finally went black as she fell unconscious to the ground.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Claidi ducts flying tomatoes and grins, leaning back in her chair, not writing another word until she sees the reviews start pour in... Unfortunately she leaned too far and fell backwards out of said chair.*  
  
After over a month it was about damn time! This chapter was my longest yet and I worked my ass off to make it perfect for you guys. What's so hard about dropping down that little review menu and leaving me a note telling me how much ya'll love me? *Grins*  
  
J/P, though I do very much appreciate your input and would love to hear from YOU! ARIGATOO GOZAIMASU!  
  
~Claidi Winter 


	10. Chapter 9: Lost

TADA! I'm BACK! WAHOO! How bout this? I'll skip the notes and let you get to the story?  
  
I GOT INTO MY SCHOOL'S ALL GIRL'S SHOW CHOIR!  
  
Shayna: Ready to spread um for those show choir boys?  
  
Me: Why? Aren't they getting enough from each other? ^_^ lol j/k show choir boys! I LOVE YOU!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Love, Labors, Lost  
  
Chapter 9: Lost  
  
Rated PG-13  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Small rays of light bled through the hospital curtains onto the prone form of a young woman lying in the bed below them.  
  
But she was not alone.  
  
To the right of the bed sat a rugged, very handsome, very tired man. He held the woman's hand in his own, one finger resting on her wrist so that he could feel the pulse there.  
  
Nurse Erickson gasped when she recognized this man as Mr. Chiba, one of the Med School interns. Suddenly she had to fight to keep the tears at bay when she saw the dark circles under his eyes, and the wrinkles in his clothes. She never could keep dry at a scene such as this.  
  
Regaining her composure, she cleared her throat as Mr. Chiba's worried eyes reached hers. She forced her voice to remain level, and had to fight especially hard when she saw the anguish revealed in them. "I'm here to check up on Ms. Tsukino. Visiting hours are technically over but... I think we can make an exception for her... fiancée. That IS what you are, right Mr. Chiba?" It wasn't a question.  
  
Mamoru nodded, telling her he understood. When this was all over he would have to tell her superiors that he was very pleased with her work. Coming from someone with his credentials, it would do a world of good for her career.  
  
The nurse walked over to the IV pole Usagi was attached to, and checked her vital signs. Mamoru ran a hand through his hair and eyed the chart the nurse was holding. "Is... Is she going to be OK? Do you know why she's staying out of it for so long?"  
  
Nurse Erickson gave a sympathetic look to the girl on the bed. "Well, from what we've gathered, this wasn't an ordinary fainting spell. From monitoring her brain waves, the doctor thinks she might have been on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Her bio patterns are erratic, but he thinks if she just takes it easy for a few days, stays here and gets a lot of rest, she'll be fine. Has she been under a lot of stress recently?"  
  
Mamoru nodded, and gave a loving glace to Usagi's still face. "More than you can imagine." He turned back to the nurse. "He said it's not serious though, right?"  
  
The nurse shook her head, "But it could be if she doesn't rest and watch her work load."  
  
Mamoru sighed, knowing that work was not the problem. "Thank you, Ms. Erickson."  
  
The nurse smiled as she lifted the curtain to leave. "Don't worry about it Mr. Chiba. If she starts to wake up or if she needs anything, just call out."  
  
Mamoru nodded as the nurse left. He turned back to Usagi. "Oh, Usa. If you can hear me I'm so sorry. I should have told you the moment I found out who you were. I should have searched harder, longer. No, I shouldn't have had to search in the first place. If, if I had been a better lover, you would have never left." He shook his head. "Then again you might never have had Casey-"  
  
"Cas..."  
  
Mamoru shot up, unsure if he heard right. He leaned back down to her level and said it again. "Casey."  
  
"Case--!"  
  
He definitely heard that one. He smiled and sat back down on the bed and repeated the name: "Casey."  
  
"Keisuke!" Usagi jumped up in the bed and into Mamoru's arms.  
  
"Shh... Usako. Shush, daijobou desu ka?" He asked, softly stroking her hair, trying to calm her movements.  
  
Usagi stopped struggling and put her arms on his for support, pulling away and looking into his eyes. "Mamo-chan?" She asked unbelievingly.  
  
He smiled at her through glossy eyes, "Hey, Usa."  
  
Usagi shook her head in confusion, looking around at the small white room. "Am I dead?" She asked, with sudden reverence.  
  
Mamoru's eyes narrowed coldly and he looked away. "Do you want to be?"  
  
Usagi shook her head once more, her mind still fuzzy, "Of- of course not! I have to take care of-" She let her sentence drop and grabbed Mamoru's arms with such force it made him turn to face her once more. "Keisuke! Keisuke! Where's Keisuke? Oh God, please Mamo-chan, please tell me you know where he is!"  
  
"You mean Case- Oh..." Mamoru closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. "I- I'm sorry Usa. The police wouldn't tell me anything; when I got to your house they were loading you into an ambulance. It was sheer luck that I knew one of the doctors on the site."  
  
Usagi tried to swallow, but her mouth had gone suddenly dry. The world began to spin again once again and she put a hand to her mouth in attempt to block the wave of nausea that had hit her.  
  
Mamoru grabbed a nearby bucket and held Usagi's head as she vomited into it. He got up, calmly placing the bucket aside and rinsed a small towel before sitting back down on the bed. Usagi did not respond as he placed the cool cloth to her forehead, but sat just as she was, shivering violently.  
  
Keisuke was gone.  
  
They didn't need to tell her who took him.  
  
She knew. She knew of the danger and she left him.  
  
It was all her -  
  
"STOP IT!" Mamoru yelled in Japanese, throwing the cloth across the room and grabbing her arms.  
  
Usagi's shocked eyes shot up to meet his furious blues. She did not realize she had been speaking out loud. Her shock melted to confusion as she registered the words of her native language. "S-stop what?"  
  
Mamoru took a deep breath to steady his voice. "This! This goddamn self- hating guilt trip you put yourself through every time something goes wrong!"  
  
Usagi gritted her teeth in anger. "How would you know? You've only been around me two weeks out of the past five years!"  
  
"You're right! I wouldn't know! I wouldn't have known if your son hadn't told me about how you're sad all the time. I wouldn't have known if Kate hadn't asked me to break the news of your son gently to you, because you would, 'blame yourself.'"  
  
Usagi's features softened momentarily at the mention of her fosterer's name. "Kate? You talked to Kate? Is she all right? What about Max?"  
  
Mamoru let out a short breath of air. "Yeah, they're going to be OK. Kate's resting in the hall down from here. Max lost a lot of blood and is unconscious, but he's stable."  
  
Usagi cast her eyes down in guilt. "And I'm here."  
  
Mamoru shot her a look. "Damn straight you're here. God forbid you actually face your fears."  
  
"That's not fair!" Usagi cried.  
  
"LIFE isn't fair, Usa! You want to know what also isn't fair? It's not fair I lost my parents and memory when I was six years old. It isn't FAIR that I had to grow up alone. It isn't FAIR that the one person I never felt alone with disappeared five years ago, and I had to search for her with nothing to go on. And damn it! It isn't fair that when she's standing right in front of me five years later, I can't recognize her and help her, because she's decided what's best for me!"  
  
Usagi stuttered, "I- I wanted to protect you. I- I didn't- DON'T deserve to be with you."  
  
Mamoru shook his head. "What do *I* deserve Usa?"  
  
Usagi furrowed her brows. "What do-huh?"  
  
Mamoru gave a cynical laugh. "Never thought about that, did you?"  
  
When she stared at him blankly, he just shook his head again. "Fine. Have it your deluded way. You don't deserve me. But did you ever think about what I deserve? All those things I said about what were and aren't fair in my life? I worked damn hard to do something about them. When the detectives gave up hope, the senshi and I continued looking. When your other friends thought you dead, we knew you to be alive. But finally, when even the Sailors gave up hope, I continued searching. I was about to give up when I met you as Serena. I was this close to moving on. Ironic that the only woman I'd leave you for is you."  
  
He chuckled lightly at the thought before continuing. "But after all that, don't you think I should get what *I* want, and what *I* deserve?"  
  
"What do you deserve, Mamo-chan? Do you deserve a weakling like me? A girl who has more power than almost anyone and can't even protect her own son?" Usagi sighed.  
  
"WHEN are you going to come OFF of that?" Mamoru rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Look, Usa. Here's what I deserve. I deserve to make those choices for myself. You don't want to be with me? Fine. But that doesn't give you the right to make it so that I can't even find out why, or give my side of the story. Now, I can understand how you've had to make a lot of choices for - Keisuke, over the past few years.  
  
"I am your lover, your equal, not your child, and I DESERVE to be treated as such. I'm a grown man, Usa; you can't make other people's choices for them. You've GOT to understand that. And, if- if you'd just let me, I'd make it so you wouldn't have to be alone in your own choices as well." He took a deep breath and began to fidget with the white hospital sheets.  
  
Usagi breathed heavily as his words sank in. The thought that anyone would deserve HER, that she was something to deserve in the first place... It was a totally foreign idea. "I- I never thought about it that way. I thought you'd never want to see me again... Or you wouldn't after you found out..." She trailed off, not daring to finish her sentence.  
  
Mamoru looked up from the sheets, and noticed the lack of color change. Usagi's face had turned almost white as the sheets. "After I found out what? That you had a child? Usa, I wouldn't care if you had three! You could have at least talked to me about it instead of deciding what was best for both of us and running away!" Mamoru dug his hands into his hair and turned away from her in frustration.  
  
"AND WHAT IF I HADN'T?" She screamed at his back as she felt the tears, once safely tucked behind her eyelids, threaten to fall from their hiding place. "What would you have done, Mamoru? If you heard I was pregnant with another man's child?"  
  
Mamoru whirled around to face her. I wouldn't have LEFT you, USAGI, that's for damn sure."  
  
"NO, no you wouldn't have. You wouldn't have been that smart. You're too caring for your own good, Mamo-chan! You would have taken responsibility for the baby and married me. You would have had to quit going to University and have had to take up another job, just to support me." She paused to take a breath of air and added, quietly, "Your life would have been ruined, all because of me."  
  
Mamoru snorted. "Right, 'cause everything is YOUR fault and yours alone. Kami-sama, I thought having power gave ME an ego boost." Mamoru raised a skeptical brow at her. "You REALLY think you have so much power? So much power that the problems of everyone around you were caused by YOU?"  
  
Usagi wrinkled her nose; it did seem rather ridiculous when said out loud, but up till now...  
  
Mamoru caught the doubt in Usagi's eyes and quickly seized his moment of opportunity. "Usa, educations, plans, they can all be put on hold. But love?" He shook his head. "Yes, you're right. I probably would have done just as you said, but I. Love. You. Therefore it is MY responsibility to take care of you. But you didn't even give me that chance! Usa, you don't even see it! You take on other people's hurts as your own, but in doing so you've avoided facing the responsibilities in your own life!"  
  
"I- I take responsibility..." Usagi tried meekly to defend herself. "But it's just that... the only thing standing in my way is-"  
  
"YOU, Usa. The ONLY thing standing in your way is YOU! Now, you can sit in that bed; have your expected 'nervous breakdown' and indulge in self-pity and dwell on how horrible your life is. OR you can get up, and DO something about it!" Mamoru slammed his fist down on the nightstand beside her, making her jump slightly.  
  
She stared at him blankly, her mouth moving, trying to form a word, a comeback, ANYTHING, but she could think of nothing. Not a word that would rightly contradict what he had been saying about her actions up to that point.  
  
Mamoru watched her blank face for a minute before throwing his hands up in disgust and grabbing his coat from the chair it lay across.  
  
Usagi stirred back to life at the movement. "Where are you going?" she asked suddenly.  
  
He adjusted the collar of his coat and turned towards the door. "*I* am going to go find your son. That is what the woman I fell in love with would be doing right now, were she here, but she is not. A stranger named Serena apparently took her place."  
  
He took a few more steps towards the door; behind him, no sound. Mamoru sighed in defeat, placed a hand on the doorknob and turned it.  
  
"Wait!"  
  
Mamoru breathed a sigh of relief. Smiling on the inside he turned an indifferent face to his lover, raising a brow in question.  
  
Usagi gave an acknowledging smile, and threw off her covers. "The, the woman you fell in love with is right here, and she wants you to take this damn IV out of her arm so she can do what she- What *I* was born to do."  
  
Mamoru grinned and ran to the bed, embracing her tightly, "I knew you'd come back," he whispered in her ear before turning to remove the tube from her arm.  
  
Once out, he cast the hated cord aside and pulled Usagi, not Serena, towards the door.  
  
But as thought of her true identity hit him, he suddenly halted all movement, skidding partway across the floor in the process. Once he came to rest he slowly turned around to face her, his eyes tearing up as if it was the first time he had truly seen her in years... Because it was.  
  
"Usako!" he cried, pulling her against his large frame, his arms coming around her so completely one could not tell from looking where he began and she ended.  
  
"Ma -Mamo-chan?" She stuttered her startled reply, her own hands coming up to lace around his neck.  
  
He pulled away just far enough so that he could look into her eyes. He planted a kiss on her forehead and leaned his own against where his lips had been.  
  
"I finally found you." He choked out the revelation, all the emotion he could not show her before, he revealed in the tenderness of words now.  
  
Usagi pulled one arm down from his neck briefly to wipe away her tears before looking back into his eyes, something she hadn't done at this proximity for far too long.  
  
"Yes... You did," she agreed, knowing that it was true on more levels than one. "I won't let you down again, Mamo-chan. And I'm NOT going to let down Keisuke." Though she sniffed, the resolve in her voice was evident. "Now WE, are going to go find my son."  
  
Mamoru laughed through misty eyes. "It's about damn time."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was cold. He hated the cold. However the instant he wished the room to change temperature, it did.  
  
Now spooked, Keisuke looked desperately for an exit, but to no avail.  
  
He thought back to the night before, or at least the time before he went to sleep, he wasn't quite sure how much time had passed. That scary man, the same one he had seen in his mind's eye a few weeks prior, he appeared, impossible as it may have seemed, out of thin air demanding to see Keisuke's mama. When the man saw she wasn't there, he set his sights on Keisuke instead. Max tried to protect him, but the man was just too strong. Within minutes he struck Max unconscious, and when he saw Kate dialing the police...  
  
Keisuke rubbed his eyes to keep back the tears, but forced his mind to remember what happened.  
  
After both his caretakers were down, the man grabbed Keisuke and somehow, in an instant, transported them to this room. But Keisuke had struggled against the man, and when he screamed for him to go away, like the temperature obeyed a few minutes ago, with a curse the man was banished from the room.  
  
No sooner did the thought of the horrible man cross Keisuke's mind did he hear his chilling voice filling the room. "I should have known she would protect you. But no matter, you are here, and she will be joining you shortly."  
  
"Who are you? What do you want with me and my mama?!" Keisuke clenched his fists and yelled in the direction he heard the voice coming from. "GO AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE!"  
  
Deep, chilling laughter filled the room. "I'm afraid I can't do that my boy. Only your mama can send me away, and I fill her every waking thought, aware, or subconscious. So I wouldn't count on that happening anytime soon."  
  
"What do you mean by that? Mama wouldn't NEVER let someone stay here who would hurt us. Sides, you can disappear stuff. Only thing mama can make disappear is food." Keisuke yelled back at the voice, enraged that he would blame all of this on his mama when he could do way more than she ever could.  
  
"You're mother has a lot more power than you think, Son. Entire planets would disappear if she wished it. We could have been great together, she and I. But being the arrogant wench she is, she refused and is forcing me to do this the hard way."  
  
"OUT!" Keisuke cried. "I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOU ANYMORE!"  
  
With that, Keisuke was left alone to the room.  
  
A bit stunned, Keisuke looked around the room, and noticed for the first time that it was... Well it was mathematically impossible! He had read about rooms like these, ones where you couldn't tell what was north and what was west. But he *knew* they were impossible to create. Weren't they?  
  
Keisuke beat his little fists on the floor in frustration and was amazed when the surface beneath him morphed to a softer surface as if to protect his hands from harm.  
  
Terrified, he crawled away from the spot to lean up against a 'wall'. It too, softened at his touch, and reminded him somewhat of his mother's embrace.  
  
"Mama." Keisuke whimpered into the silence, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "Mama, I'm scared. Please find me, Mama..."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
'Mama...'  
  
"Keisuke!" Usagi gasped suddenly.  
  
Mamoru glanced over before quickly focusing on the road again. "What?"  
  
Usagi took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes. "Keisuke, he... I could swear he called to me just now. Drive faster."  
  
"Yes ma'am." Mamoru half joked as he pressed the gas and shifted into a higher gear.  
  
Though Usagi suppressed a yawn and tried discreetly to force her dropping lids open, her weariness did not go unnoticed by Mamoru.  
  
He furrowed his brows. "Maybe I was a little too quick in getting you out of there. You look like you're still pretty worn out."  
  
Usagi gave a soft laugh and waved it off. "Nah, you were right. That place wasn't good for me, it made me believe I was sick when I'm not. The antibiotics wearing off is what's making me drowsy."  
  
Mamoru sighed and rubbed his temples when they came to a red light. "I figured as much, but I'm sorry none the less. It was just, seeing you there, so hopeless and drained... I couldn't stand it." He fidgeted with the window ledge every so often glancing up at the light. "I... I was meaning to ask you... I mean, I still stand by what I said no matter what the case but..." Suddenly he turned to face her, his voice surprisingly steady. "What happened that made you hate yourself so much?"  
  
Usagi looked away, glancing up at the light and begging it to change. "I, I told you Mamor--chan. I left you, and despite my justifications... I've hated myself for it."  
  
Mamoru shook his head and Usagi breathed a sigh of relief when he turned his attention back to road as the light changed. "No, there's more. There's something you're not telling me. Like how do you know who-"  
  
"Stop the car!" Usagi commanded suddenly as Mamoru brought the car to a skidding halt.  
  
Before the car came to a complete stop, Usagi unbuckled her seat belt and got out, slamming the door behind her.  
  
Unaware as ever, only once she was out did Mamoru realize she was running across the highway to her house. "Usa! Usako! What are you doing? Come ba- oh forget it." He gave up and jumped out of the car after her.  
  
Usagi ran up her driveway, tearing the yellow police tape off of her porch and off of her door when she got there as well. She cringed as she placed a hand on the handle and heard Mamoru's voice behind her. She knew that even though this was her original plan she was using it to evade Mamoru's questions. Usagi shook her head. She'd think about it later. What she was about to do required all her attention and strength.  
  
With one last sigh Usagi tightened her grip on the handle and threw the door open. An icy chill caught her by surprise but she gritted her teeth when the outline of a man began to form in the center of the living room.  
  
Demando materialized with a scowl and snorted when he saw Usagi standing in the doorway. "Nice of you to finally show up my dear. It's not very good parenting to leave your son alone for so long."  
  
Mamoru swung into the doorway and gasped at what he saw. "Usako!" he called a warning, not liking the way his old nemesis was staring at her.  
  
Demando raised an eyebrow at the new voice and glanced over Usagi's shoulder to see who the intruder was. However his eyes narrowed dangerously when the speaker's identity was revealed. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Prince Charming, in the flesh, coming to the rescue just AFTER the nick of time... Again."  
  
Mamoru clenched his fists and bared his teeth. "So it seems you didn't change your ways after all. What do you know anyhow, you're supposed to be- "  
  
"DEAD! YES, I know! But quite obviously I'm not! This dead routine really is getting old. Besides, Tux boy, for a dead man I seem know a lot more than you." Demando sneered and grinned triumphantly at Usagi's crestfallen face.  
  
"Usa, what is he talking about? What's going on here?" Mamoru hissed in hushed tones to the woman in front of him.  
  
"Should we tell him darling? *Usa* here was hoping the secret would stay buried with me, but you know what they say: Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it."  
  
"SHUT UP! Nothing of what you have to say is of any value other than for you to tell us where MY SON IS!" Usagi yelled, but no sooner did the words fall from her lips than she covered her mouth in horror of the opening she left him.  
  
"NO!" She screamed a deaf plea as Demando grinned wickedly and grabbed Usagi by the shoulders, forcing her to be face to face with Mamoru. He leaned down slowly, ever so slowly to rest his head on her shoulder and with a Cheshire cat smile he uttered those horrible words.  
  
"Don't you mean *OUR* son, Usa?"  
  
Usagi screamed in anguish at the sentence. Her sentence, she realized with horror as he threw her to the ground at Mamoru's feet.  
  
She clutched desperately at his ankles and looked up at his towering form. Her sobs rendering her unable to speak, she mouthed the words, "I'm so sorry," over and over until her vision was so blurred with tears she could only make out the blur of color the mop of black hair atop his head made.  
  
When she turned her head, and Mamoru could no longer see her face, he snapped back to his senses and quickly fell to the ground, gathering her in his arms as he did so. She buried her head in his chest, shaking it violently in silent protest against Demando's words.  
  
"Look at her. She's pathetic really, six words of truth placed in her web of lies and she's reduced to this." Demando glanced up and laughed when he saw Mamoru's shocked face. "What? You didn't think her-- *OUR* son, just appeared in her womb one inconvenient day when she was fourteen, did you? Really, and you want to be a doctor? Pay a bit more attention in those fancy classes you're taking, kid."  
  
Mamoru let out a little laugh and shook his head, tightening his grip on Usagi. "I don't believe you. Usa would never have coupled with you."  
  
"Wouldn't she have, now? There's a blonde four-year-old running around with my genetic attributes that would beg to differ." Demando paced the room, clenching and unclenching his hands feverishly.  
  
Usagi was struggling against Mamoru now. She wriggled and pushed at his chest, but his grip did not waver. He turned frustrated eyes to Demando once more as the eerily collected man began to speak again.  
  
"Given, that her submission came with some struggle, it did come in the end. Didn't it, Usa?" He asked, tauntingly.  
  
"NO!" She sobbed, ceasing her struggle against Mamoru to clutch desperately his shirt. "Don't listen to him, Mamo-chan, PLEASE! I didn't mean to! I mean I didn't want to!" Usagi sobbed a bit in frustration, desperately searching for the words to pardon herself. What did Kate say? It wasn't her choice, it wasn't her fault... That was it! She clutched harder at his shirt, causing him to wince slightly through trying to calm her as her nails dug partially into his skin. "It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault, Mamo-chan! I swear to GOD it wasn't my fault!"  
  
"It's OK Usa. Hush honey, yes, I know, you didn't-" Mamoru's eyes shot open as Usagi's words finally sank in. He pulled her away suddenly, gripping her chin as to force her eyes to meet his. "Usako, what do you mean you didn't want to?" He asked softly, making sure his voice was level.  
  
Usagi stiffened in terror and with her Demando stilled as well. Usagi's mind raced. What did she say that was wrong? Didn't he understand? Was he mad her after all? "I didn't want to, Mamo-chan. It wasn't my fault! I, I would never have cheated on you, Mamo-chan. I l-love you! Please believe me, Mamo-chan. Please don't be mad! He made me, he made me lie still!"  
  
"Oh my God." Mamoru breathed as what he feared was confirmed. Usagi, his Usako, she was raped. All these years, she was suffering all alone and with a kid---!  
  
"Oh my God!" He repeated as he pulled Usagi as close to his body as he could get her. He felt sick, more like nauseous. That creep, he raped her. RAPED her! Right under his nose and he didn't even have a clue. But when would he have had the chance?  
  
Mamoru squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered. Of course! The piece of slime kidnapped her and raped her. Mamoru cursed himself. He was so wrapped up in the adrenaline rush of the rescue, and learning Chibi-Usa was his daughter and the thought that he would one day marry the woman in his arms, he didn't even think to SKIM over the possibilities of what could have happened to her in the few hours she was gone.  
  
He gripped Usagi even tighter, if possible, with one arm, using the other to cover his mouth. He wanted to vomit; he wanted to scream, he wanted to... His thoughts drifted as he caught sight of the man just ahead of them, seemingly paralyzed with rage. What he wanted to do, he wanted to kill.  
  
With the gentleness only a lover could display in such a time of rage, Mamoru set Usagi's now only slightly shaking form into one of the nearby lazy-boy's. He clenched his fists as he whirled around and forced them not to make contact with the head he was looking at now.  
  
"You! You did this to her. You caused her this pain; you made her life a living hell! Damn it, you're the reason she ran away! I should rip you're heart out."  
  
Demando snorted. "Is that right? And just how are you going to do that?"  
  
"You wanna find out, you little piece of shit? The only reason why you are still breathing at this moment is because you know where to find *HER* son." Mamoru flexed his hand and a rose materialized in the casing his fingers made as they closed. Mamoru took a step towards his adversary.  
  
Demando laughed. "Please, you think your pathetic little flower can hurt me? The only reason why YOU are still breathing is because it'll be so much more FUN to watch you die at her hands once she's my queen." He nodded towards Usagi.  
  
"She won't be if I tear you to shreds first!" Mamoru clenched his teeth and faster than lightning the deadly flower flew from his hand and towards Demando's head.  
  
However, to Mamoru's horror, the wretched man caught the flower right before it would have hit its target. Demando brought it down and looked at it in disgust. "You thought this puny thing could hurt me?" The corner of his lip jerked up in yet another cocky grin as he let the rose fall to the floor, where he smashed it with his boot.  
  
He laughed, "Don't look so shocked! The only one who can hurt me hasn't the slightest clue how. Isn't that right, Usa?"  
  
Usagi whimpered but jumped up and yelled at him despite herself. "Where is Keisuke?!"  
  
"That's for me to know..." Demando started but Usagi cut him off.  
  
"And for us to find out. Cut the crap and TELL ME WHERE HE IS!"  
  
Demando clicked his tongue in disappointment and wagged a finger at her. "You didn't let me finish my sentence, dear. Where OUR son is, is for me to know, and you NOT to know. Now forget your pathetic Knight in Rusted Armor and follow me, there is much work to be done."  
  
"I'd rather rot in Hell." Usagi bit.  
  
Demando sighed. "Fine, if it's like that, then your son," Demando paused to snap his fingers and as he did so, an open door appeared behind him, "your son is right through that door."  
  
Mamoru laughed. "Yeah, right. Nice try but she's not falling for... Usa! What the hell are you doing?!" Mamoru yelled after her as she began to advance towards the door.  
  
She gave one lost look back at him, tenderly brushing the hair out of his eyes. "I'm sorry Mamo-Chan, I have to help him." She squeezed her eyes shut and snapped towards the door. "Goodbye!" She bit out finally before lunging into the opening presented.  
  
"Oh, she fell for it." Demando's laughter filling the air was the last thing Mamoru heard before the hated man disappeared through the doorway and Mamoru was left to run into thin air as the doorway itself disappeared as well.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Sigh* I apologize minna-san. This one's not as long as the last... but the next one will be!  
  
Oh and - CRAP! - *Claidi ducts under her chair as tomatoes come flying her way*  
  
HEHEHEHHEHEHE forgot about them tomatoes... -_-;; I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOOO sorry this took like five or six weeks to get out. I was hoping to finish the STORY before or during Spring Break, but I hardly had enough time to write the 10 pages I wrote there. I had to finish it back here in VA! (I was visiting Mom in NJ)  
  
So yeah, I don't know when the next one will be out as I am planning my Sweet 16 (June 10!!! SEND ME LOTS OF NICE REVIEWS!) and more importantly preparing for my SOL tests. (Ya know, the ones I need to pass school here in Virginy? Stands for: Standards of Learning, or Shit Outta Luck to us... -_-;)  
  
HOWEVER I will try my darndest to get it out in significantly less time than this one took. But please don't be mad if takes as long, find comfort in the fact that I AM updating.  
  
Hope all of you in school had/are having/have a nice Spring Break and enjoyed this chapter!  
  
Don't forget to REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
  
PS- Thanks SO much to my beautiful, wonderful, mommy who edited this for me. We should work together again sometime! ^_~  
  
Luv all ya'll!!  
  
~Claidi 


	11. Chapter 10: Hope

*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Love, Labors, Lost  
  
Chapter 10: Hope  
  
Rated PG-13  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Damn!" Mamoru cursed as he slammed his fist into the wall. Damn her good heart! Why in Hell did she have to go in after him? Why in Hell didn't he grab her when he had the chance? Once again, he was too slow... He'd failed her...  
  
NO!  
  
He refused to think that way; right now the only thing that mattered was finding out where that bastard had taken her and her son.  
  
He let out a growl of frustration and dug his hands through his hair to clutch his head as the image of Demando putting his hands on Usagi hit him once more. It all made sense now. Her frequent nausea and fainting spells after the fight with the Black Moon, why she had been so quiet and distant, her disappearance... God he must have been blind not to see the telltale signs of pregnancy those first few months.  
  
Mamoru sighed and flopped down onto the couch, letting his head fall to rest in his hands.  
  
The only part that still was not clear was Demando's re-appearance. He had died in Usa's arms had he not? Or had she just made it up? He'd read somewhere once that rape victims might try and protect their attacker. Perhaps he repented and she knew what he and the sailors would do to him if they ever found out, so she lied about his death?  
  
He shook his head. Whatever the case, he would sort it out in time. Right now he needed to focus on getting that portal opened. He figured it lead into some sort of alternate dimension. But the only person he knew with any experience in the shifts in dimension would be Ami...  
  
AMI! Of course! Mamoru rolled his eyes at his own stupidity as he whipped out his cell phone. In a matter of minutes he heard a familiar voice sound the customary greeting. God he loved modern technology.  
  
"Moshi, Moshi Ami-san, you and the girls up for a teleport?" Mamoru sighed and winced at her confused answer.  
  
"I'll explain when you get here."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Usagi fell through the door with a thud. Shaking off the feeling that the floor hurt more than it should have, she began to lift herself up, only to find that this was also a harder task than usual.  
  
She struggled to push off the floor, but out of Sailor form her slender arms were too weak lift her body from whatever bound it. It felt as though she were trying to escape quicksand. Or like the time on the Black Moon's ship when she was trying to protect Chibi-Usa and Rubeus had turned up gravity to maximum capacity.  
  
Same situation, different kid.  
  
But still HER kid.  
  
Almost simultaneously with the thought of her child, the forces holding her down were gone and Usagi was able to lift herself off of the ground easily. As she gained her footing, she shook hands, trying to rid them of the numb feeling having the blood rush to them caused. She took a step, and still felt weighed down, but it was no longer enough to keep her from moving.  
  
Usagi gritted her teeth as she looked back at the closed doorway. She wasn't a fool, running through that door was a trap and she knew it... But something about what she saw beyond the door made her take the jump. It terrified her and at the same time she felt as though she knew every inch of the space beyond it.  
  
Shaking her head, Usagi began to move in the direction that her mother's instincts told her Keisuke was. However as she turned she found herself facing a barrier. Demando.  
  
Usagi panicked as she heard his laughter and felt his hands encircle her arms. Paralyzed with fear she did the only thing she could. Usagi dropped her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, willing her vocal cords to emit the shattering sound that seemed to save her so many times.  
  
She screamed, and as the decibels rose higher and higher, the area around her began to shake with the force of her cry. Demando faded away to leave only her and the vocalization of fear before everything around her crumbled and stilled.  
  
Slowly, Usagi could hear the faint sound of horsehair pressing against an A string. It became louder and louder until a whole orchestra ensemble joined the violin in the light musings of a waltz.  
  
She slowly opened one eye and then another, shocked to find herself in a pink gown, Dancing and laughing teens filling the ballroom around her. Slowly she realized, with dawning horror where, and when, she was.  
  
"Impossible." She gasped under her breath, but regained herself quickly as she remembered what was about to happen.  
  
"Tsukino-san?"  
  
Usagi turned around to face her junior high teacher, smiling weakly as she played out the scene.  
  
"Hai, Haruna Sensei? Nan desuka?" She asked innocently, her mouth forming the words on their own.  
  
"Are you feeling alright? You don't look so good." She put a steadying hand on Usagi's shoulder and peered over it. "Where's that nice young man you're here with, maybe he can get you something." She asked, genuinely concerned.  
  
Usagi's brow suddenly became very hot, and then cool. She placed shaky fingers there and was not surprised to find that it was damp. "No..." She muttered in a defeated tone. It was all happening just the way she remembered it. Any second now Mamo-  
  
"Usako, there you are!" he proclaimed, sighing with relief, and then softly added, "I thought I told you to sit down?" Usagi turned around to face a concerned Mamoru, looking younger, but not much more than he had in her house just a few minutes prior.  
  
She tried to run and change the scene, but her feet stayed planted in their spot. She was doomed to repeat that horrible night.  
  
"Sorry Mamo-chan, I- I was thirsty. You were gone longer than you said you'd be." Her sentence cracked halfway through as she felt a not too unfamiliar wave of nausea hit her and she stumbled backwards.  
  
"Usako!"  
  
"Usagi-san!"  
  
The two worried voices were lost to her as she ran to the bathroom, throwing the stall door open and pushing her head in the toilet, thoroughly ridding herself of the wonderful dinner Mamoru had bought for her earlier that night.  
  
She felt the soft fabric touch her check before it actually did. Why was this happening to her? Couldn't some things just stay buried?  
  
"Here, take this. I felt like shit my first few weeks too. It gets easier girl, don't worry." A deep female voice said behind her.  
  
Usagi took the toilet paper and wiped her mouth, biting back tears as she asked another question she already knew the answer to. "Your first few weeks of what?"  
  
The girl behind her gave a startled laugh. "Of being pregnant of course!"  
  
Usagi gave her the same terrified glare she did five years ago. "What- what makes you s-say I'm-"  
  
The girl shrugged and rubbed a small bulge on her tummy. "You've been doin' it now for a couple weeks now. We have history together." She explained at Usagi's confused look. "And you leave for the bathroom at the same time every class. Did the same thing my first three months, same as you, regular as clockwork. Hit my forth month, BAM no more pukeing."  
  
Usagi got up defiantly, tears stinging her eyes, "I could just be sick ya know! There's no way you can say I'm pregnant!"  
  
The other girl's eyes softened slightly in sympathy. "You just lost it, didn't ya hon?"  
  
Usagi balled her fists, but didn't say a word.  
  
The girl shook her head, rummaging through her purse and pulling out her mascara. She laid a warm hand on Usagi's shoulder as she wiped away the tears and began to reapply her make-up. "I was the same way, didn't think it could happen to me... Never thought in a million years you'd loose it though, too innocent, that's probably how you got yourself knocked up. Don't even try to deny it. I can see it in your eyes. If ya don't believe me take a test. But sooner or - no, sooner, you'll have to start doing something about it. My 'rents are making me marry the father. You seem to be pretty cool with that boyfriend of yours, he's cute too. You'd probably do well to do the same. There good as knew."  
  
When the girl finally pulled back Usagi looked away. "I already took a test." She replied bitterly, no longer fighting the re-enactment.  
  
"It was positive yah? Told ya I'm right about these things. My mom was the same way, I guess it runs in the family." She gently touched her fingertips to Usagi's cheek. "You take care now, ya hear? Just enjoy the rest of your 8th grade dance... it'll be your last one for a while."  
  
Usagi dumbly nodded to the girl and left the bathroom with hallow eyes. By the time she reached Mamoru, the numbness had completely consumed her soul, leaving only a shell to re-assure him that she really was fine.  
  
Usagi slammed her fists against the floor as the strange room reformed around her and the ballroom slipped away.  
  
"Well, that was an interesting display. It took another pregnant woman for you to finally accept your own state. And that poor blubbering fool, Endymion, thinking you merely had the flu. How could you possible claim to love someone so weak minded?" Demando re-materialized, levitating just above Usagi's shaking form.  
  
"Shut up!" She screamed, banging her fists to the floor once again for impact. "Mamo-chan is kind and wonderful and noble and-!"  
  
Demando flung himself at her, grabbing her chin forcefully in his hand. "You want to know something about your precious Endymion? He's right, you shouldn't blame yourself, if anyone is to 'blame' it's your 'noble' prince!"  
  
Usagi pulled roughly out of Demando's grip and scrambled quickly away from him. "You leave him out of this! He has nothing to do with it!"  
  
Demando's ice-blue eyes flickered with a sick mirth as his lip jerked up into a lop-sided grin. "Oh no? Lets see just how LITTLE he has to do with it shall we?"  
  
Usagi shook her head violently and her shaking wracked her whole body as the room faded once more and a new scene began to play out.  
  
"The time is coming, Highness." A sultry female voice echoed into the once merry halls of the Crystal Palace, now dark and grim.  
  
The dark figure sitting on one of the two thrones at the end of the hall, shifted in his seat, sadly looking to his left at the bare one beside him. He groaned and cast down his eyes. "I cannot." He bit, his fist clenched hard enough to draw blood.  
  
"You must." The woman said, emerging from the dark covers of a fallen banner. "You cannot change history Highness. What has happened must happen again."  
  
"Sailor Pluto..." The words fell from Usagi's tongue upon seeing the woman's true shape, however they, being blind and deaf to her, continued on.  
  
The man Pluto addressed as Highness unclenched his hand and looked dumbly at it, the white glove covering it now stained with blood. "You told us once, that the future is something we can change with our own hands." He looked up at the caramel-skinned woman standing before him. "I won't do it. How can I allow anyone, much less my own wife go through that hell knowing I could have done something to stop it?"  
  
Pluto shook her head, her green-black tresses shifting and falling back in place as she did so. "Very well then, but how can you be sure the future you are putting into place isn't worse than this?"  
  
The man shot up from his sitting position, rising to his full six foot two inches and towering over his companion. "WHAT COULD BE WORSE?"  
  
She narrowed her ruby red eyes. "You are upset right now. It is understandable. However I will not let your emotions get in the way of the balance of time. It hurts me too, Endymion, but what once took place, must take place again. It is just the way of things."  
  
This time Usagi gasped outright as the man only known to her up to then as 'highness' stepped out of the shadows and revealed himself to be none other than King Endymion, her future husband.  
  
He held his stony expression a while longer, but when he saw that Sailor Pluto's resolve was steadfast, his features fell to defeat. He turned away. "What must I do?"  
  
Pluto sighed and gripped the large staff at her side. "Take them to the same room you were brought to all those years ago. Once she is taken, do not send Tuxedo Mask after her right away... You recall how much time went by before you rescued her?"  
  
Endymion nodded and slowly retreated back to his seat. "Now that I have agreed to betray the first person I've ever loved, would it be too much to ask that you leave me?"  
  
Pluto gripped her staff harder, forcing her voice to remain level. "You prepared for this day, had you not? I know for a fact you and the queen talked-"  
  
Endymion held up his hand. "JUST- leave. Please."  
  
Pluto bit her lip and turned the love in her eyes unseen by Endymion as his focus was aimed at the glass of wine in his hand.  
  
She paused at the door; "If- if it doesn't happen this way, there's no way to be sure your daughter would ever be born... And Keisuke-"  
  
"Pluto..." He warned, his cobalt eyes flashing dangerously.  
  
She nodded and turned, whispering silently, "Too bad you don't hear my cries at night, or feel my tears on your pillow... Or I'd feel sorry for you."  
  
Usagi's mouth hung open, as she stood planted in her spot, barely noticing the surroundings as they changed back into the odd, grid walled room.  
  
Demando shook his head disparagingly as he circled her dumbstruck form, finally stopping behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders.  
  
"Betrayed indeed. He KNEW what my plans for you were, he knew and he let it happen. Now, what kind of lover would let another man sleep with his mate?" Demando paused and scrunched up his nose as he felt her move beneath his hands, but relaxed when he heard her emit a few soft sobs.  
  
He smiled warmly, as warmly as a block of ice can, and turned her slowly to face him. He lifted up her shaking chin with one hand and brushed away her tears with the other.  
  
"Now, now little rabbit, don't cry. I'm sorry that the truth hurts, but you want to know the truth don't you?"  
  
Usagi just stared at him in horror. She knew she was being toyed with, she knew it! She was just so confused, too confused to think, too confused to fight, or was it too tired to fight? Maybe both. What had her Mamo-chan been telling her just a few hours ago? To be strong? He was always telling her to be strong. She missed him; she missed having someone who believed in her.  
  
"Mamo-chan..." She sighed, the words just seemed so right on her tongue.  
  
Demando cursed and shook her. "Didn't you see what he did to you? He could have stopped this, but he didn't! He's the reason you're in so much pain! He's the reason why you were separated from the ones you love!"  
  
Usagi shook her head, snapping out of her trance at his words. "I'm the reason I'm in America. *I* left."  
  
Demando's eyes grew wide as it seemed breathing was starting to become a hard task for him. "NO!" He choked, gripping her arms desperately. "You are powerless, someone MADE you do it."  
  
His grip loosened and Usagi shook him off easily, jumping several feet away from him and rubbing her arms as if to rid them of his touch. "NO, I am NOT powerless. Mamo-chan told me we make our own decisions and have to live up to them."  
  
Demando fell to his knees; sweat began to form on his brow as he balled his fists and gasped for air.  
  
"Ha, well, then our relationship, our time together.That had to be your fault too!"  
  
Usagi pulled her brows together, "No... THAT wasn't my fault, I'll take responsibility for my choices... Not others'. You know, you're starting to contradict yourself. Before you said that I was powerless, and now I'm omnipotent?"  
  
His mind raced, he needed to think of something fast before she realized the truth. Anything, any little doubt she had, anything at all!  
  
His eyes shot open and he began to yell at her, his desperateness apparent even to the lowest of sleaze. "Listen to me you little bitch, you are nothing more than whore. A cynical, pitiful, WHORE who can't even take care of her bastard son." His lips formed into a pout, his voice: a patronizing ice cool moan of mock-pity. "Whatever would your family think of you if they found out what an immoral slut you were? When they found out that their precious missing daughter was really a disgrace to the family, better to have never been found? When they see how unprepared you were, how you could have killed our son living the way you did that first year, when they see you needed to weaklings to survive?!"  
  
"Kate and Max are NOT WEAKLINGS! *I* am NOT a weakling! Mamoru LOVES me. As for my family, my friends, they--"  
  
"Don't know what you did! Once they see how pathetic you are they'll cast you out in an instant!"  
  
"I didn't do ANYTHING! MAMO-CHAN!!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mamoru wrung his hangs as he stood in the Anderson's living room, nervously awaiting the arrival of the sailor senshi.  
  
What was he going to tell them? More importantly, how was he going to tell it? "Hey guys guess what? I found Usako. Yup, I found her, but see, the funniest thing happened, you remember Demando right? Well, he isn't dead! Yeah, he's still crazy as ever and now has her trapped in some sort of weird alternate dimension. You wanna know the really funny part? I have no DAMN clue as to where it is!" He shouted the mockery aloud as his frustration with his failures began to surface once again.  
  
"Oh God, Usako, I see now how you must have felt!"  
  
He swung around to face the door, his rant having made him impatient. "And where are those girls..." Mamoru faltered as he came face to face with three very hurt, and very shocked faces. Oh shit. Three sail--. He furrowed his brows. There were FOUR sailors, weren't there?  
  
As if in sync with his 56k bandwidth brain, a finger tapped his shoulder. He turned slowly and would have been relieved to see his missing senshi, had he not seen her expression: Pissed as hell.  
  
He barely had enough time to duck as Sailor Jupiter's fist came flying in his direction. "What do you mean you don't know were she is, ASSHOLE?! You'd think that after four years of her missing, you'd keep better tabs on her when you found her! But--"  
  
Her sentence was cut short by Mamoru's growl as he swiftly pinned her up against the fireplace. "Walk quickly Jupiter, you're on hot coals."  
  
"Let go of her Mamoru-san, she's just upset, like you." Sailor Mars reasoned with him softly, laying a calming hand on his shoulder.  
  
He cleared his throat and didn't fail to send her one last glare as he slowly released her back onto the ground.  
  
Sailor Mercury swallowed nervously as she approached the shaking man with caution, not wanting a repeat of the scene just displayed. "Ma-Mamoru-san? Is what you were saying the truth? Have you really found Usagi?"  
  
Mamoru nodded, walking over to the spot where the portal had opened. "Yes, I found her, and I will explain all of the details later, but right now we need to get her back."  
  
When the girls started to protest, Sailor Jupiter in particular, Sailor Venus, almost forgotten in the confusion, stepped forward.  
  
"Mamoru-san is right you guys!" She yelled.  
  
"For right now we need to focus on getting her back!" Her voice began to crack from its commanding tone. "I- I wanna see her again so bad you guys, so can you please," She swallowed, trying to hold back the tears. "Please just listen to Mamoru-san and get her back?"  
  
Sailor Jupiter dropped her argument and walked over to give her a small hug and led her over to a chair. "We're sorry girl, we want her back just as much as you do." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry Mamoru-san, please tell us what we need to know."  
  
Mamoru sighed and nodded his forgiveness before returning to the topic at hand. "The spot on which I am standing, there was a portal here that must have been created by Demando that both and he and Usa were sucked into no longer than an hour ago. Mercury, do you think you can open it?"  
  
Mercury nodded, squeezing the earring that triggered her visor and whipping out her computer. "I can sure try," she said even as she had begun typing away furiously. "A quantum field would-"  
  
*Mamo-chan...*  
  
Mamoru blinked, "Did you guys hear that?"  
  
Before anyone could respond, something flickered on the spot Sailor Mercury was currently analyzing and where Mamoru had been standing just a few minutes prior.  
  
Sailor Venus stood up slowly shaking her head. "I don't know what you heard Mamoru-san, but I definitely saw that!" She broke into a run and stopped by Sailor Mercury's side, snagging a glance over her shoulder at the small mini computer on which data was rapidly appearing.  
  
"What's going on, Mercury?!" She almost screamed.  
  
Mercury stammered, possibly for the first time in her life. "I- I don't know Venus, I cannot seem to get a lock on it, but this is the portal Usagi- chan went through, I'm sure of it, it reeks of her life force and... Oh God." She stated as she suddenly stopped typing.  
  
Mamoru rushed over to the frozen blue haired girl. "What? Her life force and what?"  
  
Sailor Mercury quickly recovered from her stupider, shaking her head and resuming her typing at a frantic rate. "No, no. It can't be... she couldn't- -"  
  
Mamoru shook her, his voice unsteady with rising panic. "WHAT?!"  
  
Mercury stopped once more, closing her darting eyes before opening them once more to look Mamoru in his own ocean blues, her voice level. "You were wrong, Mamoru-san, Demando didn't open that portal. Usa did. She's controlling it with. Well with her mind it seems."  
  
Mamoru shook his head. "No, no that's impossible, she had idea what was beyond it, she only went through it when." He hesitated, looking for a substitute for the real reason. "When the stakes were too high not to go through it."  
  
Mercury shook her head, "What do you mean by--" She trailed off when the computer in her lap began to beep.  
  
"I got it! I got a lock!" She squealed, jumping up. "Usa's letting us in. It's just..." She hit a few keys on the tiny keypad and looked up seriously at Mamoru. "It's not very stable, I can only let as many people in as we need to get out, so Mamoru I'm afraid you'll have to go alone."  
  
"NO!" He shouted a little too suddenly. He sighed, "There might be another person in there, a child. I'll-"  
  
Mercury held up her hand and shook her head in bewilderment. "We know, you'll explain later. Transformed you can easily carry Usagi-chan and the child as well, although I would prefer to send in someone with you. However if my calculations are correct such a breach in capacity would rip the hold I have on it wide open.Usagi seems really weak right now, or at least her hold on this dimension is. I AM correct in assuming that you are the one who is going in after them, am I not?"  
  
However when she glanced back up her eyes met the sight of Mamoru, already in full Tuxedo garb, an eyebrow raised at her in question as to if there was ever any doubt.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Demando covered his ears, "Stop that horrible noise!" He barked.  
  
"MAMO-CHAN!" She screamed again in definance.  
  
"Shut UP!" He took a menacing step towards her, grabbing both her wrists in his hands and shaking her. "Didn't you HEAR me? You are NOTHING! You ran away from home because you're WEAK and you couldn't stand to hear what they would have to say about you, because it would have been the truth!"  
  
"No!" She called out.  
  
"Yes!" He retorted, growing more powerful once more. "What was your plan when you came to America? You didn't HAVE one!"  
  
"I-"  
  
"Was WEAK!"  
  
"It's your fault you're this way now, you have no one to blame but your self you're..."  
  
Her fault... Strangely, Demando's words began to fade out of her head as he said those words and some other words spoken, it seemed like years ago, made their way into her subconscious.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
*"No honey. If you didn't want it, and he made you do it anyway, then that is in NO way your fault."*  
  
*FLASH*  
  
"Not my fault..." She chanted almost silently.  
  
"Not to mention your dreadful burden on those foster parents of yours. They're in pain because of you too."  
  
*FLASH*  
  
*"You take on other people's hurts as your own, but in doing so you've avoided facing the responsibilities in your own life!"*  
  
*FLASH*  
  
"But... it's my responsibility, now." She added to the previous comment she had made to herself, her voice still no more than a whisper.  
  
"...And your SON! Could you have been a worse parent?"  
  
*FLASH*  
  
*"You're the best Mama! The bestest Mama in the whole wide world!"*  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Usagi gave a smile, so small it was almost invisble, but a smile at the memory of her son's voice in her head. "Keisei... Oh baby I love you too..."  
  
"Just WHAT did you think you were doing moving to another country with no employment plan and no money? Who were you thinking of? YOURSELF!"  
  
Usagi squeezed her eyes shut tight as a full blown memory, locked away from long ago, surfaced itself at Demando's accusation.  
  
*FLASH*  
  
*"So... Lemme get dis straight. You's only fourteen years old?" A large greasy man who was to be Usagi's knew boss asked in a thick authentic New York accent almost immposible for her to understand.  
  
After a quick translation in her head she nodded, a bit unsurely.  
  
He gave a nasty chuckle, "And you got yourself knocked up?"  
  
She shook her head in frustration. "I- I am sorry sir, I am afraid I do not know that English phrase." He had seemed a lot nicer when she talked to him over the phone in Japan.  
  
He gave her a crooked smile and rubbed his stubble for a moment before finally speaking, or at least she thought it was speaking, again. "Aight, you's below da LE-gal workin' age 'round here, but I'ma cut you a deal... You do fo' me what you did for da fatha of ya brat, and I'll pay you fo' DAT!" He laughed as he grabbed her around the waist, and pulled him towards him. Unfortunately, not paying too much heed to her slightly protruding stomach, he hit it just in a way that made Usagi use full motherly force to dislodge herself.  
  
"Don't you DARE hurt my BABY!" She screamed at him in Japanese, the instinctual need to pervent potential harm for her child taking her back to her roots.  
  
He snorted and rubbed the sore area where she had kicked him; "Good luck findin' work round here froms now on, ya Jap bitch!"*  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Tears had begun to steadily stroll down Usagi's cheeks by now, and though silent, quite noticeable.  
  
Demando caught sight of them and snorted, much like her would be boss. "That's right, go ahead and CRY!"  
  
"I- I only wanted to protect him! I HAD a plan I DID, so don't say I DIDN'T!" She screamed, her throat starting to scratch from the strain.  
  
Demando jumped back a little, as if pushed and had to bend over once more as a similar pain began to take over his body once more. "No...!" He hissed though haggard breaths.  
  
However his predicament went unseen to Usagi as she rocked her own tired body. "I just want my baby back. I just want to see my Keisei-Baby."  
  
Demando tried to lift his hand in protest but the pain had become too strong, and he was forced to stay doubled over as Usagi heard a word she hadn't heard in what was an eternity to her.  
  
"Mama?"  
  
She whirled around, not believing her ears, and half expecting him to be another memory.  
  
He grinned wide when the face that turned was revealed to be indeed that of his precious mama and he ran to her full force.  
  
She saw him start to run and flung open her arms open in anticipation.  
  
"Mama!" He cried again as he almost in her arms, almost safe again, the scary room he was in almost forgotten. Almost.  
  
But just as he was inches away from his mother's awaiting embrace an invisible wall stopped him cold in his tracks and he was dislodged into the space behind him from the force of the barrier.  
  
"KEISUKE!" Usagi cried in anguish and panic as her son flew out of her reach once again.  
  
Keisuke braced himself for the pain that he knew was to come when he hit ground, and was more than surprised when it didn't come. Instead he landed in what seemed to be soft... arms?  
  
He looked up, and his mouth dropped at what he saw. It was none other than the human incarnation of his favorite hero from his Mama's bedtime stories. He'd recognize him anywhere; he was quite hard to miss. "TUXEDO MASK!" He cried in amazement.  
  
Tuxedo Kamen blinked in surprise at first before smiling down at the boy warmly. "Hey there, Kido." He chuckled and tilted his mask, revealing his eyes as he winked at him.  
  
Keisuke's mouth reassumed it's dropped position at this before he squinted hard at the man holding him and whispered in reverent awe, "Mr. CHIBA?"  
  
Tuxedo Kamen made no reply, as he looked up from the boy to his desperate mother who, would look like a frantic mime, had he not known her to be a woman trying frantically to get through the invisible wall that kept her from her child and lover.  
  
"My God..." Mamoru breathed. "She really did create this place."  
  
Keisuke looked up to his mentor, "What do we do?"  
  
Mamoru sighed, stroking the boy, who he had come to think of as his own son's, hair. "We pray for her Keisei, we pray."  
  
"WHAT?! What is keeping me from them?" Usagi cried out as panic filled her when she saw Demando begin to crawl demonically towards her.  
  
She hit her knees and she lifted her head, clenching her hands together as tightly as she could. "God, please help me! I want to get rid of him, I want him gone! Please, help me find what's keeping me from the things I want most, NEED most! WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK?!"  
  
*FLASH*  
  
*"YOU, Usa. The ONLY thing standing in your way is YOU! Now, you can sit in that bed; have your expected 'nervous breakdown' and indulge in self-pity and dwell on how horrible your life is. OR you can get up, and DO something about it!"*  
  
*FLASH*  
  
"Me?" Usagi asked herself dumbfounded. "Have I caused all this?" Usagi looked down at her hands to find her locket nestled in them and she stared at it in wonder. "Is it possible that in blaming myself for wrongs I had no part in committing, but avoided dealing with emotionally... Is it possible that I somehow recreated those problems?"  
  
She closed her hands over the crystal, and closed her eyes as well. "It's not my fault... But it's my responsibility, now." As she repeated her words from before, a sense of serenity and understanding filled her. It was a curtain had been lifted from her eyes and she could see the scene so much more clearly now. A scream shrilled through the air to her left interrupting her newfound tranquility and she jumped, frantically looking for the source of the shriek.  
  
What she saw brought on another different swell of emotion. Her attacker: Big, scary, powerful, manipulative Prince Demando with his freezing glances and icicle touch... That 'powerful' man was now reduced to little more than a sobbing boy, and revealed for what he really was: A sickly, cowardly rapist.  
  
He caught her glance and pointed one of those sickly fingers at her. "You are noth-" He fell to his knees. "NOTHING! I, I OWN you!" His voice shook, and it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.  
  
Usagi just smiled and shook her head. "Not any more."  
  
He began to hyperventilate at her words, and Usagi looked back over to her two men. Tuxedo Kamen had stood up, her son on his shoulder, hat and mask discarded as he tested the limits of the invisible wall. She caught his eye and smiled, waving him over to her. Immediately the two pairs of hands pressed up against the wall, two big, two tiny fell through and met nothing but warm air.  
  
Mamoru smiled as his eyes met hers, and he saw that they were indeed hers. Those bright sparkling baby blue eyes full of life and the joy of life that he loved so much. But most importantly he saw, an emotion he had not seen in them for five years. Hope.  
  
She looked so beautiful standing there, erect, confident. Her soft blonde hair, now only elbow length, looked like a halo of gold blowing around her, even the frumpy casual blue skirt and white blouse she had received from the hospital seemed to be glowing robes on her.  
  
His smile turned a grin as he approached her, sliding Keisuke down to hug her neck, while he wrapped his arms around her waist.  
  
Usagi closed her eyes and relished the feel of her family surrounding her, holding her, loving her.  
  
She opened her eyes and cast them down to meet Demando's withering form, and felt... nothing. Nothing but a strong sense of pity for him, though pity of a dead man was pity well wasted.  
  
He was dead.  
  
Demando was dead.  
  
He had been dead for five years, and yet it was only now that he truly died in her.  
  
"You don't exist."  
  
Demando moaned. "You're a whore."  
  
"No. She's my mommy!" Keisuke chirped happily.  
  
"You are nothing!" He croaked.  
  
"She is everything to me." Mamoru retorted.  
  
"You are powerless." It was barely a hiss.  
  
"I have as much power as I need to have. But I do have power over you. YOU are nothing, and you no longer have any more of me. I've reclaimed my life."  
  
No sooner did Usagi speak the words. No, no sooner did Usagi FEEL and MEAN the words, did Demando lay prone, and finally disappeared entirely to the nothingness from which he came.  
  
A new feeling washed over her then, well, more like another old feeling returned. But what was it?  
  
*FLASH*  
  
*Her eyes were a soft green and her skin the color of porcelain, tinted lightly red with embarrassment. But there was something about this girl, she seemed through it all... Usagi tried, but couldn't put her finger exactly what it was this girl seemed to exude.*  
  
*FLASH*  
  
*She LOOKED happy, and they way she talked about it, so openly, as if she were telling her about a cold she'd just gotten over, or the time she fell off her bike when she was five. Could it be that there was hope for people like her?*  
  
*FLASH*  
  
* "I'm free."*  
  
Freedom, she was free, just like that girl at school. She had won and the prize was her freedom. And pride. She couldn't forget that. Usagi felt as though she had conquered a country and that she could do it again to whomever else opposed her.  
  
So Usagi turned away from Demando, into the laughing arms of Mamoru as he spun her and Keisuke around.  
  
After about the third spin they stopped and she grinned up at him, reaching out for his hand. "Let's go home."  
  
He raised an eyebrow at her after taking hold of her hand. "Home?"  
  
She nodded. "Home."  
  
Keisuke threw his arms up in the air and giggled. "Home!"  
  
*~*~*  
  
THE BEGINNING  
  
*~*~*  
  
There, two months to the day but it's there. You wanna see the clock? It's 5:39 AM and I've been up since 9:00 today. That's right, I chilled with my friends, came home, wrote, and have not slept a wink, so please excuse any typos I will correct them in the morning. Christ it's light outside now.  
  
Make Morning = When I wake up tomorrow.  
  
I love you all. Thank you for everything, all your support your drawings, letters of encouragement, everything. DON'T WORRY. They'll be a long epilogue to clear up any last questions plus an author's letter. ^_^  
  
Like it? Hate it?  
  
Adieu, REVIEW!  
  
Claidi Winter 


	12. Chapter 11: Life

I'm back! And LOOK! You guys were SO good, I'm giving you a whole extra chapter AND there is yet an epilogue to come! Aren't I awesome?!?!  
  
*runs away while her impatient audience is distracted by the shiny new chapter...*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Love, Labors, Lost...  
  
Chapter 11: Life  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Her eyelids came undone. First one, then the other slowly opened to the sight of a blonde head resting beside her. Shooting up in her bed, Usagi pulled a hand to her mouth to stifle her gasp.  
  
"Keisuke..." She uttered softly, her shock replaced by an overwhelming need to hold him, or even just *touch* him. Removing the hand from her mouth to stroke his curls, tears welded up in her eyes. His hair... It was... It was blonde; she saw it now truly as the sunlight glittered down onto it. Not white, not eerie translucent shades, but blonde, like hers.  
  
She raised her eyes abruptly as the distant sound of a male voice made its way to her hears, distracting her from her discovery. Her breath caught once again as the identity of the speaker and memories from the night before hit her. Of course, she must have passed out after they came back through the portal!  
  
The portal...  
  
Demando! She looked around her, fear's ugly hand crawling up her heart, threatening to grab on tight when...  
  
He was no where to be found. She listened, and failed to hear him. She looked, and failed to see him, she felt... He was gone. It hadn't just been a desperate dream, he was really *truly*, gone.  
  
The voice downstairs died, and her attention was averted to its owner. Untangling her dormant son from her arms, she crawled out of bed, and crept out the door. As she walked the halls she prayed with all her might, hoping against everything that she was right in identifying him, that when she finally did reach the bottom it wouldn't be Max making his morning coffee, it would be him, and she would be safe, she would know that she was free...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mamoru looked up at four very unhappy girls through bleary eyes. Sighing, he placed his hot coco down regretfully, and rubbed his face with his hands. He knew how frustrated they must be, but who was he to tell them what he knew would ease their minds?  
  
Slapping his dress pants to rid his palms of the sweat, he stood tentatively, speaking in his commanding and sure tone, well... He told himself it would be commanding and sure. "Look." His voice cracked. So much for that. He took a deep breath and continued. "I know how all of you must feel, but I- I'm at a loss as to what to do. What you all want to know- it's not something that can... I'm not very clear on it myself. It's just want-" he faltered, looking around the room at the anxious girls, sighing hopelessly. "I really don't know what to do."  
  
Ami placed a hand on Mamoru's shoulder urging him to sit down. "It's all right Mamoru-san, don't stress yourself too much, coming out of that portal drained enough energy to wipe the three of you unconscious, it's best if you rest." He opened his mouth to protest, but Ami shook her head knowingly and silenced him. "Sit. Usagi-chan will talk to us when she's ready, right?"  
  
Mamoru nodded and sat. "Usako wants to make things right with all of you, I could feel it. But it might take a while before she's ready."  
  
"Or just a few minutes."  
  
"Usagi-chan!" Minako exclaimed breathlessly, jumping from her chair to reach for her friend, only to pull back with hesitancy. The rest shifted uneasily, all eyes latched onto the blonde's form.  
  
Usagi gave a tearful smile to all of them, and fully descended the stairs. "Minna, it was you who let Mamo-chan in to rescue me, arigatou. I- I'm so sorry--" Her voice cracked, and she buried her face in her hands as tears wracked her.  
  
"Usako," Mamoru reached out to lay a comforting hand on her, but she raised her own hand, stopping him. She sniffled and dried her eyes with her sleeves, tearing her trembling blue orbs back to her old comrades. "I don't want to cry any more. Not now. It's not fair to all of you. I didn't just learn that not everything is my fault; I also learned that some things are. Leaving all of you, that was a mistake I made all on my own. I understand fully if you don't want to hear any excuses for it."  
  
Moments passed, but they seemed like hours as the group gazed at their leader, who, until a few short hours ago, they believed they would never see again. Rei was the first to speak.  
  
"Baka." She hissed, her own eyes brimming with tears as she turned them towards Usagi. "Who do you think we've been waiting down here all this time for?! Mo-chan?! Chris no!" She yelled, and ran at Usagi, enveloping her in an unyielding bear hug.  
  
Usagi blinked in shock, before mirroring her best friend's actions and throwing her arms around her in return. "Rei-chan..." She whispered happily.  
  
Rei pulled away finally, but kept Usagi at arms length. "So are you going to make this up to us or not?"  
  
Usagi nodded violently and Rei swung her arm around her shoulders, leading her to a seat. The rest of the group had to hold back their tears as they each threw their arms around her in turn. Finally after the commotion settled, an idea crept into Usagi's head. She was moved beyond words at their display but, she need something more.  
  
"Uh... Rei-chan?" Usagi bit her lip hesitantly.  
  
Rei smiled and stroked her arm lovingly. "Don't worry Usagi; I would be offended if you DIDN'T call me that."  
  
Usagi shook her head a bit and giggled. "Th-thank you, but I was going to say-It's "Chris*T*"... Not, not "Chris"."  
  
Four intakes of breath were audible around them as the soldiers, and Mamoru waited in apprehension for what they all prayed would fallow.  
  
Rei's smile fell, and yet they were not disappointed. The rest of the girls burst into a fit of laughter as the two lunged at each other. "Usrusai, Baka Usagi!" Rei yelled as she began to tickle her mercilessly.  
  
Usagi only fought half heartedly to throw her off, overcome with relief that her bond with Rei was still in tact, unaware of how much this display meant to the others. None of them had changed when it came to matters of friendship, deep down they all knew it, but this was the stamp.  
  
At last after gaining his composure, all too thankful for the moment, Mamoru pulled Rei off of Usagi, only to have the rest of the girls tackle her with hugs and kisses and tickles yet again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
An hour later, the mood was all but cheerful. Makoto was clenching her fist so hard her knuckles were turning white, Ami's mouth hung open, and Rei sat motionless, the anger seething from her blatantly obvious.  
  
Usagi stared at her feet. She had told them, told them everything. She dug a bare toe into the ground hating the silence, huddling under the console of Mamoru's arm. Why did they think? About her, and Keisuke, would they accept them now? Her heart twisted at the thought and she gathered her own arms tightly around her body, shielding herself from what she feared would come.  
  
Minako watched her soldiers with worry, especially her fellow blonde, clenching her own fist when Usagi visibly shuddered. The silence had become deafening, and unable to stand it a minute longer, she jumped up and whirled around to face all of them accusingly. "Come on you guys! Don't you have anything to say? All of that and you don't have one word for Usagi? Well, TSUKINO-san, *I* have quite a few. My FIRST one being, WHEN do we get to see him?!"  
  
Usagi blinked and raised quivering brows at Minako. "Se- see who?"  
  
Minako's frown turned into a blinding grin in one second. "KEISUKE!" At Usagi's dumbfound look, she bubbled on, listing off her questions on her fingers. "I wanna know what he's like! His favorite color, his friends..."  
  
Usagi stood and gave a grateful smile to the blonde. "Minako-chan..." She reached out for her but jumped in alarm when Makoto leapt up behind her.  
  
"Yeah!" The brunet cried, slapping a hand on Usagi's shoulder. "What's his favorite food?"  
  
Mamoru chuckled and stood as well, looking mirthfully into Usagi's eyes as they said in unquestioned agreement, "Pizza."  
  
"What is his favorite subject? You said he excelled in math in science, but never said if he enjoys school!" Usagi laughed when she turned and saw Ami's hopeful expression.  
  
"You'd be so pleased Ami-chan, he LOVES math and science, and school, for the most part."  
  
"Is he interested in business?" Rei piped up.  
  
"Does he play any sports?" Mina added.  
  
"From what I saw, he sort of looks like a younger version of my old boyfriend!"  
  
"Maybe I could teach him to read the fire, if you don't have him too mixed up with that CHRIS guy." Rei joked, motioning to a crucifix on the wall.  
  
"Rei-chan..." Usagi warned feebly, but she was so overcome with love and joy, it was not in her to put up an argument.  
  
Their questions mingled together as they finally yelled out in unison, "WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET HIM?!"  
  
"Oh Minna-chan!" Usagi cried, throwing her arms around Minako, the closest body to her. "Aishiteru, arigatou."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The girls had been up for the better part of twenty four hours over the course of the ordeal, and after some more story telling, and being informed that Keisuke probably still had quite a few more hours of sleep in him, they opted to rest themselves.  
  
Usagi and Mamoru stayed in the living room, as they girls occupied the master bedroom and guestroom, sitting in the warmth of each others arms before Usagi insisted they call the hospital to check up on Max, despite Mamoru's report to her at the hospital the night before.  
  
Mamoru put down the phone and gave her a reassuring smile. "He woke up." At her still persistent look he added, "And he's going to be fine. He lost a lot of blood, but he's going to be just fine."  
  
Usagi dropped her head and let out a sigh of relief, sliding down the wall to crouch on the ground. "Max is one hell of a fighter. To last that long against Demando... I knew he'd make it."  
  
"Usako, it wasn't your f--"  
  
"I know." She cut him off, finding the blank TV suddenly interesting.  
  
In two strides he was there with her, running his hand up and down her arm to finally intertwine with her hand.  
  
She looked up at him, but quickly looked away, a small smile creeping up her lips momentarily at his gesture of affection. Shaking her head to rid her fluttering stomach of its butterflies she forced her eyes to meet his once more.  
  
"What's wrong? Still thinking about De- about *him*?"  
  
Usagi shook her head. "He's gone. I can feel it." She took her free hand and beat it lightly to her chest. "It's only me in here now, and I can't hear him here either." She added, motioning to her head. "I don't think I thanked you for that."  
  
He shook his head. "It wasn't me, Usa. I didn't do anything." He affirmed.  
  
She giggled lightly as he made little of his quite significant involvement, but turned back to her inner ponderings.  
  
"Well... If that's not it, then..." He let the sentence trail, not wanting to put words into her mouth.  
  
She sighed heavily, rubbing the back of her head in frustration. "Mamoru- Mamo-chan, I thought it would be easier than this. I thought-I thought that once he was gone everything would just fall back in place." She laughed a bit at her naive assumption. "I still had to face the girls. Don't get me wrong, it felt wonderful to make things right with them, but I didn't just "make things right" not that easily... Am I making any sense?"  
  
Mamoru nodded sagely. "You're realizing that things can't be fixed with an 'I'm sorry' or a simple 'go away'. Time heals all wounds Usa, if they are cared for. You've put the dressing on it, but it'll take time before you truly trust one another again."  
  
A thought struck her, and she suddenly felt sick as she gazed at their locked hands, and nervously back into his eyes. "Mamo-chan are we..."  
  
He smiled and kissed the hand he was holding, ushering her thoughts away quickly. "We were always OK Usa. I- just can't not trust you, or even be mad at your for any significant amount of time. You and I... We have some things to work on, and I want to work on them, not dwell in the past. People make the mistake of thinking that recovery from these things is an overnight process. You just ended your road of fear; you've only begun on your road to recovery. I- I desperately wish I could take some of your burden from you, but I can't. What I can do, and will do though, I will be there for you Usako."  
  
She gripped his shirt, unsurely. "But- but what if I can't do it Mamo- chan?"  
  
He took her other hand in his, now completely facing her. "I promise you, if you are falling, I'll LITERALLY jump off that roof after you and make sure you don't hit ground."  
  
She let out a small laugh and nodded. "I know you will Mamo-chan. You- you've never let me down. I also know I haven't returned that, *I* swear to *you* that I will. But... I'm so scared. What if- what if I can't do it for them? What if I can't make it up to the others?"  
  
Mamoru shook his head. "You've already started. They wanted you back as much as I did Usa. They could never love you any less. You've also got to consider that you are all very different people then from when you were fourteen."  
  
She let out a shrewd laugh this time. "I've know that one for a while." She shook her head. "But that's not who I meant. I meant..."  
  
Mamoru's eyes widened, realization striking him, and his mouth formed a simple 'oh...' as he nodded slowly, understanding. She was referring to her family.  
  
"Mamo-chan, I want to forget about it. I don't want to think about it anymore." She looked over at him, and he adorned an almost apologetic expression. She immediately understood, looking away and adding softly. "But I can't do that can I? You're right, wanting to forget, pushing it away, that's what caused all this."  
  
Taking haggard breaths she stood turned her back to him. "But I want to feel better. I *do* feel better Mamo-chan." She whispered quietly, looking down as if in shame.  
  
Mamoru stood as well and turned her to face him, distressed when he saw the look reflected in her eyes. "Oh, Usako. You don't need to be ashamed if you want to be happy. If you feel better you should embrace that! I thought you knew this? You deserve it!"  
  
"But they didn't." Usagi sighed, falling into his arms. "Kate and Max didn't deserve what happened to them, neither did my mother and father. I've let both of my families get hurt, emotionally or physically. How can I let myself be happy when I've hurt so many people? I've been so ungrateful. My parents raised me, and Kate and Max, they rescued me. Took me in and they barely even knew me."  
  
He gave her a puzzled glance, as she sighed decidedly, leading him to sit on the Anderson's couch.  
  
"I came here to make a new life. I told myself it was for everyone's own good. Yours, my friends, and my family's too; I would bring nothing but shame to all of you, or so I thought at the time. I had made the baby, I would pay for it. I was just so scared, and I wasn't thinking at all, because if I were, I would have realized how much I was putting Keisuke's life in jeopardy." Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered how she once fleetingly thought of killing the unborn child in her womb.  
  
She squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to rid them of the tears. "I had a job set up in New York City. I found it, and a scuzzy apartment nearby online. I gathered my savings and used the Luna Pen to make a passport and papers for myself under the name of Serena Tsukino, before fleeing by two trains, a boat, and a bus.  
  
"I knew my parents would put out 'missing' articles and photos of me, so I used the crystal to disguise myself, or rather, put up a mental block for those who knew me before I came to America. That's why when you first met me here as Serena, you could only get so far as to think I looked like Usagi, much less connect my last name with the one you knew. I blocked all that info as well.  
  
"When I got to New York, I went to meet with my new boss right away. The job was a waitress at a run down restaurant in downtown Brooklyn, and I wanted to start as soon as possible. Had I put more thought into it I would have realized that, first of all, being pregnant and on my feet all day would not have been the most healthy thing in the world, and secondly, what was I supposed to once I had the baby? I couldn't bring him to work, and he would be far too young to leave with a babysitter. There's no way I would have been able to afford the time off. I was doomed from the start. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the boss required something I could- wouldn't give." Her face twisted into a look of disgust at the recollection of the greasy man and his horrible slurred way of talking.  
  
Mamoru swallowed hard, his nostrils flaring in anger, as he knew instantly what the man had wanted from Usagi, at her expression. But he bit his tongue, literally, and let her continue.  
  
"Of course, no job meant no house. Luckily for both of us, I found a shelter that took us in. We remained there until I gave birth to Keisuke, and for a few months afterwards, until I met Kate and Max.  
  
"We took turns doing things at the shelter, and that week it was my turn to buy diapers and food supplements. I went into the nearest convince store I could find, as I didn't have a baby carrier, and I wouldn't leave him at the shelter. I can only guess at what they were doing in that part of town, but as I reached for the diapers there Max was, helping me get them down. I smiled a bit nervously and thanked him before turning away quickly. I hadn't had very good experiences with strange men in New York, or anywhere for that matter. But when I turned around Kate was there, holding the supplies I had dropped while reaching for the diapers.  
  
""What a beautiful baby." Those were her first words before she added, "I can see where he gets his looks." I couldn't help but smile and Keisuke, who was crying up to then, stopped and smiled at her too. Since then, I've always trusted the people Keisuke trusts. He's an amazingly good judge of character, even at just a few months old.  
  
"Anyway, they got a cart and put my things in it, Kate pushing it for me and Max got the things I needed as we walked through the aisles. We chatted and they told me they were there on a tour of New York, visiting from Virginia. I perked up instantly, it being the only other place in America I had been to. We talked about Richmond for a while, until Max finally asked what I was dreading they would. He said, "I don't mean to offend you, but you look awfully young to have a child." Kate reprimanded him for being rude I guess, but I waved it away, not wanting them to fight. After I had paid for the items, I had come up short a couple dollars but they eagerly helped me pay, after we had done that, Kate offered to escort me home." Usagi clutched at her skirt tentatively, the guilt for their hospitalization starting to take effect again.  
  
"You should have seen the look on her face when she saw where I lived. It was like someone had told her this was where her own daughter lived. After distributing the items we had bought, they left with a couple of hugs and 'thanks you''s, and I thought I would never see them again. Until one morning, a week later, before dawn the woman who ran the shelter shook me to wake me up and told me to pack my things. Some couple by the name of Anderson was going to foster me. When I asked her what she meant, she only scolded me for not telling her I was a minor, and that I was lucky they had come along when they did. They brought us here to live with them. They didn't ask me where I was from, or the details of Keisuke's conception, until a couple weeks ago, they knew nothing about my past."  
  
Mamoru nodded, mentally resolving to express to them his newfound gratefulness. He had known that they had taken her in, but he could never have guessed the circumstances. "Kate doesn't blame you for her state, Usako. That's for certain. She was just relieved to hear you were all right."  
  
Usagi bit her lip, glancing up at him. "Yeah?"  
  
He nodded, "They took you in on their own free will. By not asking you what your past was, they were willing to accept whatever baggage you carried. They probably didn't know how much power your foes held, but they never thought twice about harboring you."  
  
Usagi smiled as she remembered Kate's reaction when she told them for the first time what had happened to her. She had cried and held her tightly. Again, her pain had been Kate's pain, and Max... Max looked as though he wanted to kill. She could still see it flash in his eyes when he thought she was not looking. Maybe, just maybe, fighting Demando gave him a chance to feel like he did some real damage. They really did love her, no matter what points the devil's advocate inside of her brought up, they loved her.  
  
Mamoru frowned suddenly as the last words of Usagi's story produced yet another question. "Usa, what made you finally tell them after all those years?"  
  
Usagi looked away as she let her head fall back against the seat of the couch. Turning back to him she bit her lip hesitantly.  
  
Mamoru swung his arm around her and gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "It's OK Usa, I asked because I want to know. That is, unless you don't want to say. I can wait." She stayed silent, contemplating, and so he spoke once more. "Earlier you said that pushing this away, that's what caused all this... Is that..."  
  
She smiled matter-of-factly as he trailed off and she began to speak. "Why do you think I was able to defeat Demando the way I did?"  
  
Mamoru shook his head, he had not a clue.  
  
"When I came home with the Andersons it was December, a year after he- after he raped me." She swallowed, but the words brought comfort. He raped. He was the active party, not her. "It hurt too much to think about him, and about all of you. So I resolved that I wouldn't. Even the picture I kept of you and me next to my bed became two nameless faces after a while. This worked, more or less, for four years, until one day I sat down and I began to write. I had tried this before over the course of the years, but each time I had started out writing about him. This time, I wrote, I started out writing about... you. I wrote about the day we got back together, and this lead to writing about the first time I saw Demando." She sighed.  
  
"After that it was as if I snapped, all in one night. I guess I had just repressed those memories for so long, when they came back..." Usagi reached into her pocket, producing a small round locket.  
  
"I had the crystal on me the whole time to keep up the disguise, and in case of emergency. It was just responding to my emotions."  
  
Mamoru laughed incredulously, a nervous shake in his voice. "Usako, you don't really believe you brought him back do you?"  
  
Usagi shook her head. "No, I know I did. I blocked him out for so long, that when I finally faced my past through my writing, all the anger, all the fear, it came out all at once, almost five years worth of it. I let him rule my life, Mamo-chan and so he did. Every time I got scared or started to doubt myself, he materialized a little more, and pretty soon, I couldn't control him at all. When you told me you knew who I really was, was that just last night? It seems like ages ago." She shook her head again, knowing she had digressed. "But when you told me, I lost it. I had nothing to hide behind any longer, and I couldn't face you. All my fears came back stronger than ever, my worst one being--"  
  
"That he would take Keisuke..." Mamoru finished for her, not believing what he was hearing.  
  
"Exactly." Usagi affirmed.  
  
"Of course..." Mamoru stated, shifting in his seat. "What Ami said makes sense now. That dimension, it was, Demando held the power in your head, and that's where the dimension was set."  
  
Usagi nodded. Somehow she had known that, thought she had not realized it was she who had inadvertently created it, until now. Somehow she knew that whatever her will was there, it would be carried out. "Thus when I wanted Demando to go away, he did."  
  
"But only once you conquered your fear of him." Mamoru reinstated. "When we couldn't reach you, that was your fear ruling."  
  
"Sort of." Usagi bit her lip. "Consequently, a part of me didn't want you to reach me. I- I guess I was punishing myself." She glanced over at him just as he was about to open his mouth and laughed, silencing him. "Yes I know, Mamo-chan; I can't make other people's decisions for them, right?"  
  
He laughed at her insight and kissed her forehead. "Damn straight."  
  
"Mamo-chan, you know I would never have willingly made all of this happen right? I mean, yes. It happened because of some poor choices I made but--"  
  
"You couldn't have possibly foreseen what bottling it up would do. You were scared, and wanted to protect yourself. You know what that makes you?"  
  
She shook her head warily.  
  
He smiled a little and whispered in her ear, "Human." He laughed at her sigh of relief.  
  
But Usagi frowned. "It still doesn't excuse my actions towards my parents. Mamo-chan, how can I face them again?"  
  
He paused before replying. "Do you want to?"  
  
"Well, yeah!" She countered. "But what about, what about them?"  
  
"Usako, say Keisuke left you without notice and without warning, and was gone for the better part of half a decade. Now, say you learn, all those years later, that he was indeed alive and wanting to see you, would you want to see him too?"  
  
"Mamo-chan, how can you even ask that?"  
  
"Well, would you?" He asked again.  
  
Usagi sighed. "Yes. Without question. If I had to, I would travel half way around the world to see him again."  
  
Mamoru smiled softly. "So would they."  
  
Recognition flowed into Usagi's eyes, and she closed them, sighing. "What do I do? Call them? "Hey mom, it's me! I'm alive! Oh, you have a grandchild too! Aren't you glad to hear from me?""  
  
"No..." Mamoru drawled. "You- your mother thinks..."  
  
Usagi cocked her head to the side. "My mother thinks what?"  
  
Mamoru shook his head. It was not as if Mrs. Tsukino was really crazy. He alone knew that she only acted as if she believed her daughter was right beside her. She had confided in him, saying it was just so much easier than having to deal with all the "I'm so sorry's," and the fact that her little girl really was gone. But that was not what Usagi needed to hear. At the moment she had enough to deal with. Things would sort themselves out with time.  
  
"Your mother thinks nothing less of you. You have time to make it up to your parents. Right now you have a son who really needs to know his mother is OK, and a life of your own to sort out."  
  
She let out another predominantly long sigh, and stood, him rising with her. "You're right. I do need to get my ducks in a row."  
  
Mamoru laughed. "Your WHAT?"  
  
Usagi shook her head gaily. "Never mind. It's an American saying."  
  
Mamoru's face formed a quizzical look then. "I was wondering, how did you learn English so fast? Sorry to be blunt, but it was your WORST subject back in Japan."  
  
Usagi laughed and walked ahead of him towards the kitchen. "I had my ways. Some English tapes, a little help from the crystal... I found I could use the crystal for menial tasks without being drained. Learning English and disguising yourself aren't nearly as hard as vaporizing a yoma. But yeah, there was no way on Earth I could have learned something so fast without the crystal's help, I've got be dumber than aAHH!" She yelped suddenly as he took her by the waist, turning her with one swift movement and claiming her lips for his own.  
  
She swallowed hard when they finally broke away, taking a moment before saying anything to let the haze clear. "Wha- what was that for?"  
  
He chuckled lightly. "I had to shut you up someway."  
  
At her questioning look he sighed and rested his head to hers. "Usako, you need to stop putting your self down. Do you use the crystal for work and school?"  
  
She shook her head and looked down, fingering the lining of his shirt.  
  
"Exactly. Above anyone else, Usa, YOU need to like YOU. If not, you're only setting yourself up to fail. Who would actually help someone she hates? I love you. I want you to succeed, but you've got to want yourself to succeed as well."  
  
She smiled softly, raising her hands from his shirt to wrap her arms around his neck. "I love you too Mamo-chan. I trust you. So if you love me, then I guess I can't be all that bad." She scrunched up her face. It was a humorous expression but Mamoru could see that tears hid behind it. "In fact, I'm not bad at all."  
  
He chuckled endearingly, giving her waist a squeeze. "No. Not at all." He replied seriously. "You fought SO hard. Not me, not the girls, not even Sailor Moon. YOU destroyed him, by will alone. Few victims are able to do what you did, and their attackers don't materialize! It takes a strong heart to do that, and a strong heart you've got."  
  
Usagi nodded, and gave him a grateful smile. She leaned up to kiss him when the squeak of a door was heard and Usagi smiled when a voice soon followed it. "Mama?"  
  
Mamoru grinned resolving to kiss her forehead before releasing her towards her son, who was slowly descending stairs, one step at a time.  
  
At the sight of his mother Keisuke jumped the last three steps down the stairs, making her wince and ran into her open arms.  
  
"Hey, Baby," she cooed, scooping him up and holding him tight.  
  
Hey pulled away and let his chubby hands frame her face. "Are you OK now, Mama? Is the bad man gone?"  
  
Usagi let out a start of a laugh, hugging him tightly again. "Yeah, I got rid of him, Baby. He's not going to bother us any more."  
  
At her affirmation, Keisuke wiggled out of her arms and to her surprise, slid down her body, heading straight for Mamoru.  
  
Mamoru squat down to his level, smiling widely. "Hey there kido."  
  
Keisuke failed to respond, but leaned in as to not be heard by his mother. "Are you really Tuxedo Mask?" His eyes twinkling in delight at the prospect that his favorite teacher could be his favorite hero in his mother's bed time stories.  
  
Mamoru raised surprised eyebrows at him, but recalled the night before. Keisuke had known his transformed identity then too, but he had failed to take note, in view of the circumstances. "Yes, I really am, Casey, but how do you know who Tuxedo Ka- Mask is?" He asked suspiciously, catching himself from using the Japanese name.  
  
"Mama told me all about him-, you." He said, still whispering. "In her stories you always saved Sailor Moon whenever she was in trouble, and they were in love and-"  
  
Mamoru chuckled, merrily. "It's OK Casey, you don't have to whisper. Your mama knows who I am."  
  
Keisuke's eyes grew wide as he turned to look incredulously at his mother, who frowned in confusion as he swung back around to Mamoru, refusing to retire his whisper. "But you love MAMA, right?"  
  
Mamoru nodded sagely. "Yes Casey. I do."  
  
Keisuke's eyes grew even wider, if possible. "Then does that mean that---" He turned around once more to fully face his mother, his change to a louder tone of voice startling her. "Are you Sailor Moon, Mama?"  
  
"Looks like you have some explaining to do, Odango Atama." Mamoru chuckled, shaking his head as he stood.  
  
Usagi rolled her eyes heavenward and sighed. "Don't I know it."  
  
Mamoru smiled at her positively as she scooped up her son, once again, and brought him over to the couch for another for what was going to be another long talk.  
  
"You see, Honey, it all started one thousand years ago..." And so Usagi began, for the first time, to tell her son of not only her own heritage, but his own as well.  
  
*~*~*~Eight Months Later*~*~*~*  
  
Usagi chewed at her thumb nervously as she looked over the garment placed before her. She glanced up at her companion, finally shaking her head slowly. "I can't."  
  
Her cohort chuckled lightly. "Of course you can. You have to. You've only got five minutes!"  
  
"What if I trip?"  
  
Kate smiled endearingly. "Serena," she started, still preferring to call her by her English name. "In four years I have yet to see you trip."  
  
Usagi shook her head again. "I *used* to trip all the time. It COULD happen again."  
  
"Just walk with care. You won't trip."  
  
"What if I do something wrong?"  
  
"Serena, there's nothing to get wrong. You just walk up there smile brilliantly, turn to face the man, smile graciously to everyone again, and stay there."  
  
"But-!"  
  
Kate sighed in mock exasperation. Reaching over she picked up and shoved the items into Usagi's arms. "Listen USAGI, they're tuning the organ! GO GET DRESSED!" She pointed dutifully to the women's restroom.  
  
Usagi let out a small squeak as she was shoved the clothes. "All right! All right! I'll go."  
  
Kate gave a start herself and jumped a little when she turned and was face to face with Mamoru, her husband close behind. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" She exclaimed breathlessly.  
  
Max grinned, kissing her lips lightly. "Nope. Just the two of us here, Mamoru and me."  
  
"You think you are so funny Maxwell William Anderson."  
  
"Now, now, let's not quarrel here on such an important day."  
  
"No, lets not." She cooed patronizingly.  
  
Mamoru cleared his throat politely as Kate and Max deviated a little too far into their own world.  
  
Max pulled away from Kate, apologizing before slapping Mamoru on the back. "So, are ya nervous, about tonight I mean?" He asked, winking.  
  
Mamoru blushed slightly and shoved his hands deep into his dress pants. "Uh, yeah, a little actually."  
  
Kate creased her brows. "Nervous, 'bout what?"  
  
Max rolled his eyes playfully. "You sure you're not blonde honey?" After a good whack on the arm with her purse he laughed and backed away. "What's he nervous about, he's gonna do it, Kate!"  
  
Kate's eyes lit up with recognition and she smacked her forehead. "Oh! Of course!" She laughed, rubbing the spot on Max's arm where she had hit. "Maybe I am going blonde! Tonight's the big night! Not to mention that *they're* coming."  
  
"Who's coming?" Usagi asked, emerging from the bathroom, finally dressed.  
  
Kate whirled around, and tears formed in her eyes as she took in the sight of Usagi. "You look so beautiful..." She stated, wrapping her arms around her.  
  
Usagi frowned. "I look androgynous."  
  
"Smile!" Max called from behind his camera and Usagi rolled her eyes.  
  
"Max!" She whined.  
  
"Now, now Usako, this is a big day! You should by proud!" Mamoru reprimanded playfully at her behavior.  
  
Usagi turned her head and grinned when she caught sight of him. "Mamo- chan!" She moved to hug him but stopped and frowned. "I thought you were going to watch Keisuke before the ceremony?"  
  
"Don't worry, he's with Molly." He dismissed it, closing the gap she had left and hugging her. "Besides I have to tell you something. Your--" He began to whisper but she pulled away as a familiar tune filtered through the halls to their ears.  
  
"Crap!" She laughed. Pulling away from him and kissing each of their cheeks. "I gotta go! I love you guys!" She called before running towards the music.  
  
"Wait! Usako!" Mamoru desperately tried to call after her.  
  
"Tell me afterwards! DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH if I trip!" And with that she was gone.  
  
Mamoru sighed and let his raised arm fall to wipe his neck as Max shook his head. "I certainly wasn't this nervous before *my* graduation ceremony."  
  
Kate smiled wisely and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You weren't almost twenty either."  
  
"Very true." he admitted, picking up her hand and kissing it. But Max creased his brows when he looked over and saw Mamoru in a somewhat agitated state. "What's wrong, son? It's still early! You have plenty of time to be nervous later!"  
  
Mamoru ran a hand through his hair and placed a hand on Max's shoulder. "Well, uh... I didn't exactly have a change to tell Usa that they were coming..."  
  
Kate's eyes grew wide as she leaned forward, placing a hand on Mamoru's arm. "You mean she doesn't know? Well, Darlin' I have a feeling she might not be too happy about that."  
  
Mamoru nodded and opened his mouth to voice his remorse about not telling her, when he was beat to the punch by a feminine voice behind them, familiar to his ears only.  
  
"Mamoru-san?"  
  
He sighed and strode up to her, taking both her arms in his, greeting her with a warm smile. She smiled, not insincerely but meekly, in return, taking his arms as well.  
  
"Tsukino-san. Welcome. I hope you had a nice trip." He greeted her in Japanese.  
  
Ikuko laughed nervously. "As nice as possible, I suppose."  
  
Mamoru nodded and closed his eyes in acknowledgement before opening them and looking around. "Where are Shingo-kun and your husband?"  
  
Ikuko closed her eyes this time and breathed in heavily before stating in shaky words, "I didn't tell them about the letter you sent, Mamoru-san. Not its true contents. I told them I was going to visit my sister in Washington DC." She raised teary eyes up to meet his. "I'm so sorry; I'll tell them as soon as I get back. I am such a selfish person Mamoru-san. I just wanted her to myself first. I wanted-."  
  
"Shh, shh, Ikuko-san. Daijoubu." He comforted her, embracing her softly. "You don't need to apologize or explain to me. I understand." He explained, pulling away. "If anything I should apologize to you. I, I failed to tell Usa you were coming."  
  
Ikuko looked up at him with desperation, suddenly clutching him at her daughter's name. "Where is she Mamoru-san? When can I see her?"  
  
Mamoru smiled and offered her his arm, which she hesitantly took and walked towards the near forgotten Anderson couple. "After the ceremony, which is going to start in just a couple minutes, but first I think you should meet two very amazing people."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Usagi felt the adrenaline pumping in her veins as she mounted the stage to receive her diploma. She took very deliberate steps, hiking up her gown a little as she ascended the mini staircase, the words "don't trip" running over and over in her mind, but only on the surface. She knew they were really there as a distraction from what was really going through her head. Here she was, a mother, graduating high school. However the negative thoughts that would normally came after she looked at it that way, failed to this time. Instead, a feeling of pride had replaced that. Here she was, a mother, and she had managed to graduate with all honors classes, and was even a part of the national honors society! But far surpassing all of that was that she had been accepted to the top three schools on her list, UVA, Virginia Tech, and... Azabu Institute, in Japan. She frowned slightly, still unsure about what she was going to do with that acceptance letter. Was moving back to Japan really an option?  
  
However her thoughts were discontinued as she heard the booming sound of, "Usagi Serenity Tsukino!", called out over the microphone. The adrenaline was back, stronger than ever, but she grinned famously at her principal as he shook her hand and the woman next to him handed her diploma.  
  
She reached up to pull her tassel over her cap when some distinct voices made their way over the noise of the Center and graduation march.  
  
"Usagi-chan!"  
  
"Go, Usagi-chan!"  
  
"Congrats Sere!"  
  
"Ometeto, Usagi-chan!"  
  
"Aishiteru, Usako!"  
  
"Usagi Baka, ometeto!"  
  
"Yay, Mama!"  
  
Usagi smiled tearfully at them, waving her diploma enthusiastically in their direction after moving her tassel fully over her cap. She sat in her designated seat and after turning her class ring so that she could no longer read the name, in following with post-graduation tradition; she glanced back up to where they were seated and smiled as she saw everyone there. Mamoru, Molly, Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, Keisuke, Kate, Max, and... She squinted as she failed to make out the form of the woman sitting next to Mamoru. Light blue hair, dressed in older clothing, she almost resembled- -  
  
Impossible!  
  
But was it? How would she be...? Mamoru. He must have invited her. 'You're over reacting.' Her mind told her, but her heart said something different.  
  
The rest of the ceremony was a blur. Empty speeches, random songs, finally everyone was tossing their hats in the air, but Usagi could think of nothing but one thing. She rushed through the crowd, searching for the familiar mix of hair colors, her desperation growing by the minute.  
  
Finally she made it outside, searching frantically left and right. Where they hiding? They were right THERE the entire ceremony! She made to run for the refreshment hall when someone took a firm hold of her arm. She was whirled around but she let out a mighty sigh when she found she was face to face with Mamoru.  
  
He sighed himself and loosening his grip he took her other arm in his other hand. "Usako, I'm so sorry. I tried to tell you before the ceremony but-- I should have told you before I even sent the letter. I could see how much you missed them though. Each day it became so much more evident than it had been the last... and she deserved to know Usa. They deserved to know... that you were alive if nothing more."  
  
Usagi nodded, her breathing still ragged. "Ok Mamo-chan, I'll deal with you later, but right now," she bit her lip and looked straight into his eyes. "Right now I just want to see my Mama. Where is she?"  
  
Mamoru bit his own lip. "So you're not mad at me?"  
  
"No. A little annoyed, but it's not like you ran off without a note and I won't see you for five years." She jested sarcastically.  
  
He was about to contradict her when she shook him. "But I will be mad if you bring here all the way here and don't let me see her!" Her eyes softened with her grip. "Please, Mamo-chan."  
  
"Usagi-chan?"  
  
Usagi whirled out of Mamoru arms, and her world slowly stopped as she took in the sight of the woman standing before her. Her mother.  
  
Her diploma dropped to the ground, but it meant nothing, high school, motherhood, all those years fell away and Usagi was five years old again, and could think of nothing but of her mommy holding her, welcoming her home from summer camp.  
  
All her doubts, all her words flew out the door as she heedlessly ran into her mother's arms. Her cap and gown were now overalls and odangos, her dropped diploma - a lunch pale. The only thing that mattered was reaching the sanctuary of those arms.  
  
"Mama!" She cried, literally, as her mother welcomed the forced with which she hit, catching her and staying upright, a miracle all mothers somehow managed no matter how big their child had grown.  
  
Usagi threw her arms around her and sobbed as Ikuko whispered sweet nothings of comfort, rubbing her back with her experienced caring hands. "I'm so sorry, Mama. I'm so sorry I left you and Papa and even Shingo. I didn't want to, I swear I didn't. I was just so scared, Mama. I was so scared. I didn't know it wasn't my fault, I thought you would hate me and I would bring us shame, and I'm so sorry, Mama, I'm so sorry!" She wept her apologies without restraint; even though she knew the moment her mother's arms had encircled her that excuses were beyond unnecessary, she still needed that confirmation every child needs, whether what they have done was wrong or right, they still needed to hear--  
  
"I love you, Usagi. I love you so much! I could never, EVER hate you. Not now, not then, not EVER! Not ever, my Usa, not ever." She repeated as they had both sank to the ground, and she rocked her child, her only daughter, her first born, her baby girl in her arms again after far too long. After the betrayal, after the lies, after the confusion, she was holding her again, and none of that mattered anymore.  
  
"So," Ikuko said finally, breaking their embrace, but only enough that she would be able look at her daughter. "When do I get to meet this grandson of mine?"  
  
Usagi sniffled and laughed a little. "Didn't you all sit together?"  
  
Ikuko blushed a little. "I didn't dare talk to him. I don't think he saw me."  
  
Usagi rose, bringing Ikuko up with her. "Well we'll just have to change that, won't we?" She laughed, walking forward to catch up with Mamoru who had moved to give them privacy, gaily showing her mother the way.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Mamo-chan, where are we going?" Usagi half laughed, half whined as he led her through the restaurant and out the backdoor. After her graduation they had all gone out to eat at a fancy steak house by the name of "Ruth's Chris", a treat co-paid by Max and Mamoru. Her mother had been immediately welcomed by Max and Kate, but most importantly, adored by Keisuke. Usagi smiled genuinely when she recalled how Keisuke's features lit up when he was told the identity of the woman walking arm and arm with his mother.  
  
After dinner, during which Keisuke had insisted on sitting next to *his* grandmother, Max and Kate excused themselves mysteriously taking Keisuke with them. If that was not strange enough, the girls followed in suit, saying their 'flight' from Japan had been long and they were tired. And then at that, her mother adamantly agreed that she too was tired, and promised to make plans for the next day. That left her with, oh wait, Mamoru.  
  
"Gee." She had stated in a dead pan. "I wonder what THAT was all about. It could not have possibly been devised so that we would be alone, could it?"  
  
He had laughed outright and standing from his chair, he pulled her up from her own and replied, with all seriousness, "Never." Before his face burst into a huge grin and he grabbed her hand, leading her down seemingly endless twists and turns they were taking now.  
  
"Mamo-chan! Come ON! Do I have to close my eyes? Tell me where we're going!"  
  
Mamoru only laughed and shook his head. "Want some cheese with that whine?"  
  
Usagi snorted. "I better be getting some cheese with it! You know I'm really not liking this not- telling-me-what-you're-doing-before-you-do-it stuff! Where did you learn that phrase anyway?"  
  
Mamoru snorted this time. "You underestimate me, I've only been living here, what, almost a year now? I couldn't possible pick up that many American sayings."  
  
Usagi smiled wryly. "Well you've certainly picked up American sarcasm."  
  
"Ok." Mamoru breathed, stopping finally. "We're here."  
  
"Can I open my eyes now?"  
  
'Hmm hmm." His deep tenor rumbled out, sending shivers down her spine as she opened her eyes, and gasped.  
  
"Oh Mamo-chan..." She breathed, unable to move.  
  
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "You like it?"  
  
Usagi shook her head, reaching behind her to touch his arm gently with her fingertips. "I love it." She turned around in his embrace and reached up to lightly brush his lips with her own. "Thank you."  
  
He smiled hazily, intoxicated by her caresses. God she was amazing, but he would linger on such lazy thoughts later, as for now, he had an agenda.  
  
Regretfully, he pulled away from her, and a reached over to pull out a wicker chair, bowing slightly, "My lady."  
  
Usagi giggled lightly, curtsying to him in return and sat. She giggled again when she felt him push in her chair, recalling that wonderful and horrible night at the Jefferson Hotel so long ago. She shook her head and looked around at her current surroundings once more. They were on a threshold of a small but beautiful garden behind the restaurant. Surrounding them was some sort of white wicker structure, consisting of a canopy, and four elegant polls supporting it. Intertwined with the wicker were twinkle lights mingled with ivy to give off a glittering forest effect.  
  
If all that was not enough, next to their small table for two was the best thing of all: All the chef's desert specials for the night. She raised an eyes brow at him as he sat down across from her. "Looks like someone knows me just a little too well."  
  
He chuckled, placing his napkin in his lap. "You know me, it's not like I have a life or anything."  
  
Usagi licked her lips and picked up the nearest desert after he motioned that it was OK. "Apparently not." She took a bite of the desert and almost moaned in ecstasy. "NOT that I am complaining mind you."  
  
He laughed and picked up a slice of Death by Chocolate cake. "I'll take it it's good?"  
  
Usagi nodded enthusiastically but blushed when she saw his humored expression. She put down her fork and folded her hands in her lap. "Really, Mamo-chan, what's this all about? I mean, it's absolutely amazing, but..." She looked down at her entangled fingers.  
  
Mamoru placed his own fork down, sighing deeply. He hadn't planed for it to go this quickly! Oh, well, it was now or never.  
  
"Usako, come back to Japan with me."  
  
Usagi glanced up sharply. Was she hearing things? God how she- She stopped her thoughts and shook her head before looking back down again and swallowing. "What about Kate and Max?" She asked softly.  
  
Her glance had told him nothing, and his heart was nearly in his throat he was so scared. But he fallowed her lead swallowed himself, steadying his tone. "You could always come back and visit, and with the internet, you could chat everyday! I- I'm not asking you to forget about them, I'm asking..." He trailed off. His palms were sweaty, why did he suddenly feel as though he were in high school again? And why wasn't she saying anything, damn it! "It's not to late to apply to--"  
  
"I already did." She interrupted. "And I got in."  
  
Mamoru swallowed, yet again, his throat if possible had gone even drier. "To Azabu?"  
  
She nodded. "Mamo-chan?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I..." She paused, but only for a moment before throwing her hands down on the table, her voice shaking. "I wanna go back. I miss it there so much. With everything that's happened with my mom... I need to go back. To be with her, with dad, and Shingo too. I want Keisuke to see where I grew up. I want him to settle in a school, make friends, and have a normal life! I can give him all that so much better where I know my surroundings... The only thing I can't give him..."  
  
Mamoru licked his lips and raised his brows expectantly, reaching across the table to massage her hand in his. "Is what, Usa? What can't you give him?"  
  
"I, I can't... I can't give him a real family." She whispered the words, almost too afraid to say them. Too afraid to hope...  
  
They lingered there for a moment, suspended in time, the ping pong ball of their game resting mid-air, before dropping, and being hit with a bang.  
  
"Says who?"  
  
Quickly, before the ball was fully out of his court, he dug into his pocket and produced a small, black, velvet box; an object that never failed to take a woman's breath away and Usagi was no exception.  
  
Usagi's breath stayed taken as he stood, and hastily rounded the table.  
  
"Mamo-chan..." Was all she could croak out, her eyes brimming themselves with tears as he took his position on one knee in front of her.  
  
"Tsukino Usagi, Serenity. I love you, and your son more than I have ever loved anyone or thing in my life. Before you came a long I was nothing, and when I lost you a second time, it hit harder than any separation through a past life could ever hit. I didn't fall in love with Serenity all over again; I fell in love with you, Usagi: The bouncy fourteen year-old who could give a better comeback than any of my friends. I fell in love with Usagi: the strong nineteen year-old mother of one amazing little boy, who persevered through so much and stood up to her worst fear with so little, to save that boy. I would be nothing again if I couldn't have you by my side for the rest of my days. Usako, will you marry me?"  
  
The tears were flowing unabashedly down her cheeks now as he slid the beautiful solitaire diamond onto her left ring finger, looking up at her with earnest eyes. She couldn't hold it in any longer, she launched herself into his arms, sending them both flying backwards into the grass.  
  
"Yes, Mamo-chan, YES! Of course I will marry you!" She cried it into the night, laughing as he rolled them over, pinning her underneath of him, and kissed her under the gentle glow of the moon after she cried out one last time, to the world, to him, to herself, and finally to Demando.  
  
"YES!"  
  
This time, truly, she was going home.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ug, finally! Tell me what ya'll think! There will be a short epilogue to follow. And I do mean short. Like, as short as my prologue, maybe not even... lol we'll see. But there will be one!  
  
Adieu, review!  
  
~Claidi 


	13. Epilouge

Many apologies to the lovely Mormon to my right. I would like to thank my bestest friend Shayna for listening to me go on and on about this story, and for still being my friend even after I threatened to drag her face first through the worm infested dirt if she didn't read my story, and of course, then coming up with the last 'L' and fixing said story. Much love. You're the only woman for me. No, seriously. I don't like girls but I'll pretend for you. =P  
  
EPILOUGE  
  
I remember all of it like I remember how good the slice of chocolate cake I had last night was. They are just those things you never forget, those life changing moments, like accepting a proposal for marriage for instance. I certainly do not mean to brag, but my darling Endymion gave one hell of a proposal speech. Then again, I would have said yes had he dumped the ring on my finger and said "let's get hitched!" But I digress.  
  
Finally, after one thousand, give or take a couple hundred, years I have completed my life's tale. I know how many times it has been published in the papers, and I know how many biographies there are out there called, "The Legend Behind the Glamour: The True Story of the Earth and Moon Royals." I could hardly get past the sparkly cover page, let alone read the man's, who I had never met in my life... lives rather, account of my family's history. So I felt as though I should be the one to tell my own tale. But I digress... Again.  
  
Why did it take so long you ask? Perhaps it was that it took some adjusting to, being queen of a galaxy. But maybe it was that events have come full circle. It is now the year three thousand and twenty, the beginning of our restoration period after the war with Nemesis and the Doom Phantom. Some thousand years in the past, my son, Prince Endymion, known to me as my darling Keisuke, has just been conceived.  
  
How he and I have grown since then. Now at "age" of fourteen, he has accomplished more than I could have ever dreamed for him to. His little sister, Small Lady, just now entering adolescence, adores him so, though they tease each other relentlessly at times. It feels as though time has slipped through my grasp with Keisuke just starting college, and Chibi-Usa preparing to start her training as a Sailor Senshi. Of course I and their father, my Endymion, my Mamo-chan, are as proud as can be.  
  
Here is where I will set the record straight. Endymion IS Keisuke's father: legally, emotionally, and physically. He raised him, educated him, was there for him, and loved him as he continues doing unconditionally. There is nothing on this Earth that enrages me more than for someone to say he is not that child's father. He is. He's more than a father; he is a father when he did not have to be.  
  
That cleared, and my children bragged about, as every good mother needs to do, I fear I have again derailed from the point.  
  
At first, this story was my way of trying to sort out my life, back in the twentieth century, but now I see it has taken on an entirely new form. It would be my disservice to every girl or boy out there like myself, were I not to publish this. Too many times people let themselves be conquered by their greatest fears. Or a victim lets her attacker rule her life. That is was happened to me. I had feared my attacker so greatly, even past his demise, that I let that fear of him rule my life, and as I explained to my darling husband, through my fear did he come about.  
  
I write this to every victim of an assault: Even if your attacker did not rematerialize in your world, back from the dead as mine did, or if they are still alive, you need only to let yourself be ruled by that fear of them, and your attacker will enter and try to ruin your life. First and foremost you need to conquer your attacker in your own heart and mind, realize that it is you who has the power, not they. Only then will you be free of their hold. Whatever it takes, fight them in court, or fight them in your mind, but do not give up.  
  
If you recall, I had revealed to you that at one point it my life I had decided it could be summed up into three words: love, labors, and lost. But I had also begun to think that there must be another word to add, trinities are so cliché after all, not to mention stealing book titles. But I know now what that word is.  
  
Love is a constant and I have much of it. But love can be lost. There is labor, but it too is always passing and changing. I, like everyone, have lost much in my lives, but after what we have lost, something shines with every breath the remaining take. Something will be here as long as I, my family, my friends, my PEOPLE are here. I know now as I sit here on the lakeshore, gazing at my husband and our two children splashing away, that after the love, after the labor and after the lost, after one has had them all, if that person still living, they still have a chance. The next word, is life.  
  
For me, my family is my life, what keeps me going everyday, and what makes a smile come to my face every morning. But I know that even those without children, or spouses, or even families, even if a person thinks they have nothing to live for, they must remember, they have themselves, their own life.  
  
"Life's not a song, life isn't bliss, life it just this, it's... living..." And living is what it is all about.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ok, last line of my story belongs to the writers of the Buffy Musical; I only wish it was mine. Or, rather, I wish Spike was mine...  
  
But there you have it folks! Thank you so much for your letters, pictures, reviews, everything. It's all meant so much to me; YOU'VE all meant so much to me in writing this.  
  
I'll have you know that though I have planned and dreamed about writing this story for four years, it took the defeat of my own attacker in the spring of '02 to actually write this and find its direction.  
  
If this story inspired one heart to take a stand and fight, a heart to encourage a friend to fight, or if I have even just succeeded on shedding some light on the trails and process of recovery for such a victim as Usagi in my story, then my own trials were worth it.  
  
Remember girls (and boys!) fight. You have the right and the responsibility to yourself and anyone else your attacker might harm, to fight. Even if your attacker escapes the hands of the law, he or she will know you are stronger than they thought as you took matters into your own hands. And most importantly YOU will know what you did what was right, that stood up for yourself. There's no greater feeling in the world.  
  
Worry not, this is not the last you will hear of me. I still have Just Another Otaku to finish and many more fics after that, ne?  
  
Adieu, review!  
  
~Claidi 


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